and your total, unconditional freedom.
I. Remember Infinite Love
- You Are Loved So Completely
- You Are Unconditional Love
- You Have Been Conditioned
- What Is Conditional Love?
II. Return to Unconditional Love
- You Are Returning to Love
- You Already Know Unconditional Love
- A Master Plan for Healing
- Unconditional Love is Fearless
- Love Your Amazing Self
III. Recognize Your Conditioning
- Unearth Your Hidden Conditioning
- Identify Your Limitations
- Personal Limitations
- General Limitations
- Collective Limitations
- The Shining Solution
IV. Conditional Relationships
- The Sexes
- Traditional Marriage
V. Let Conditional Love Go
- Major Change
- Get To Work
- Bravely Face Your Pain
- For Example
- Forgive All Love Debt
- Change Your Life
VI. Live In Unconditional Love
- You Are Free
- Consciously Embody Unconditional Love
- Trust Yourself
- Live Your New Limitless Life
- Passionate Purpose
- Live With Immaculate Love
All throughout your life, you have been taught to suppress love even though love is your most natural instinct. All throughout your human experiences, you have been trained to restrict how much love you give to others and how much you receive from them, even though your most authentic trait is to be generous with love. You have been conditioned to withhold love and to resist feeling it fully without even knowing you are doing this. But infinite, all-accepting love is who you are at the soul level, and you are meant to revel in it with all of your heart.
I am here to help you remember this. I am here to help you embrace love and to never restrict it again. In the pages to follow, I will show you how to stop suppressing the gorgeous love you that deserve to experience every day and everything else that you truly desire. Because when you stop restricting the love that you secretly crave, you also stop restricting everything else that you really want for yourself. You no longer limit your life. You are free to love and live without resistance. Exquisitely so.
And this radically changes your world. It leads you to feel utterly harmonious in your own skin and in everything that you experience. You start to create your life freely, consciously, and powerfully with the sweetest sense of fulfillment.
The times that you are living in are ripe for you to do this. In fact, that is why you may be struggling more than ever in your life right now—exactly so that you can see how you limit love and stop allowing this. That is why everything on planet earth feels so tumultuous these days—because you are living in times of great upheaval and transformation. And these times are asking all of us to love freely without limitation.
Love will change the world as we know it. That is why you are reading this book. Love Is Free, and you can completely embody it. Are you ready to do this and positively flourish?! Let’s get started. Let’s remember where you come from and who you really are.
The Meaning of Life
Hello, beautiful soul reading these words. It’s Suzanne here, from the spiritual realms beyond earth. That’s right, I’m coming to you from the endless universe that is so much bigger than your human experience. And infinitely more loving.
You might call the place where I am heaven, but I prefer to call it Home. Because Home is where we all come from. It’s where we journey to in meditation—that’s how I got here! And Home is where we all return after “life” is over. It’s where you go back after your temporary human experience is through.
You probably already know that there is way more to experience after your human life, right? Well it’s absolutely true. Your soul survives death, brave friend, and comes back Home.
And Home is amazing!!! It’s the most beautiful, blissful place you can imagine. But way more than you can imagine! Home is positively euphoric. Isn’t that absolutely thrilling?!
It turns out that you come from the most infinitely loving place, and that place is your real Home. In fact, you know your real Home far better than your human life. And your exquisitely loving Home is starkly different from your human experience. Your Home is where everything makes sense. But your human life is another story. In fact, I’m guessing it’s been hard for you to make sense of your human life at all sometimes! Am I right? Well I am here to help shed light on that. In fact, I am here to tell you the meaning of life! More specifically, the meaning of your life.
Are you ready to know the meaning of your life?!!!
Get ready. Here it is:
To free yourself from Conditional Love.
Yes, the meaning of your life is to free yourself from Conditional Love.
But what’s Conditional Love, you may ask?
It’s the reason why life is so hard, and that’s exactly what we’re going to explore in this book. We are going to dig deep into what Conditional Love means, why it’s made your life so challenging, and how you can free yourself from it.
In short, we’re going to find out how you can fulfill the meaning of your life!
Isn’t that exciting?!!!
Because you deserve to have the most harmonious experiences. And you deserve to know only Unconditional Love.
Best of all, you have a massive support team from Home ready to help you do this. In fact, we are already supporting you at this moment—indeed, at every moment of your life!!! And we love you beyond measure.
Oh dear friend, it’s time for you to know how infinitely loved you really are.
Just let me tell you.
You Are Loved So Completely
Do you know how immensely loved you are back Home? Do you have any idea how much you are adored by all of us, exactly as you are right now? You are loved so completely by everyone in the bright realms beyond this human world. You are absolutely cherished and purely treasured with a love so deep, it is unfathomable.
Oh beautiful soul, do you know that all of us in creation are utterly in love with you? Indeed, the whole universe rejoices to have you here. You are revered with an ultimate love that is so gorgeous and euphoric, so complete and never-ending, it is beyond your wildest imaginings.
And there are no conditions to this love. There is nothing you could ever do to change how loved you are. You will always be accepted completely and adored eternally. All of the time. You will always be dearest family to every shining soul in the universe. Indeed, life will forever celebrate your existence.
You are completely and unconditionally loved. That is fact. And this never-ending love is the love that you come from. But that is only half of the story.
Are you ready for this?
You are love.
You are Love
Yes, you are unconditional love. The same unconditional love that the universe feels for you is who you really are. It’s true.
The love that you come from is your actual identity.
You are love incarnated on this earth. That is your true identity—eternal and infinite love.
But as we’ll explore in depth, your true identity has been kept from you in your human experience. You have been severed from the blissful Home that you come from—the place where you truly belong, and you have been separated from feeling fully loved. You have been kept from your true identity of being love. But, now it’s time to remember this. It is time to remember your loving Home and the intensely gorgeous love that you are.
It is time to remember your true self.
All your life, you have been trying to do this. All the time you have walked this earth, you have been trying to get back to ultimate love. This love has been whispering to you in all the landscapes of your past. It has been calling to you through every experience you have endured. This love has been waiting for you through your brightest days and in your darkest hours. And all these years, your life has been asking you a question. That question is—can you love yourself like we do?
Can you love yourself too?
Can you love yourself unconditionally?
You are destined to do so. You are destined to love yourself completely again. One day very soon within your earthly life, you will see all the love that creation showers upon you, and you will feel completely worthy of it.
I am here to help you do this. I am here to show you who you really are. And I want you to know that you are more powerful with love than you have ever dreamed! You are so incredibly special and you are already perfect because you are Unconditional Love. You always have been.
But how the heck do I personally know all this?!
Back in 2007, I experienced a dramatic and profound spiritual awakening that opened my human perspective completely. I became increasingly curious about the spiritual meaning of life and my curiosity grew with each passing day, as did my hunger for the truth. I began to see a larger spiritual reality beyond my human life. I began to see personal evidence that our universe is infinitely loving and all-accepting, and that I am a precious part of it, just as you are too.
As soon as I glimpsed this all-loving and all-pervasive reality, it became blatantly obvious. In fact, it was everywhere, and I couldn’t believe that others couldn’t see it too! I knew then that my mission in life was twofold: to help people understand just how loved they really are and how loving they really are, and that knowing this is their long-awaited destiny.
You are reading these words because you are ready to fully grasp your destiny. You are ready to return to full LOVE and feel it with every fiber of your being. Because the undeniable truth is that you are the Unconditional Love that you have always craved. And it’s time to accept this completely.
Unconditional Love Is Your Destiny
Your natural state is Unconditional Love. The most natural feeling for you is to love and be loved generously, with every breath and every step. That is what you are used to back Home.
And beloved friend, it’s time to live like this again. Indeed, it is your shining fate to do so. You were born to wake up in your human life and love with all of your being, and hold endless joy. Ready or not, it is time to do this. It is time to feel love at full capacity and live with it every day. Because you came here to absolutely flourish, and you deserve the moon and the stars! You deserve to thrive with love at every moment and to have the sweetest life of your dreams! You are a being of immense love, after all, and where you come from you are used to thriving without question.
But of course, it’s probably been hard for you to fully enjoy your life, even if you have known success. Even if you think your life is pretty great, most likely, it has been difficult for you to know just how loved and supported you are—unconditionally. Because it is challenging to know this kind of infinite love on earth, and there is a distinct reason for this.
Since you were born into your human life, you have been thrust into a world that restricts love, and therefore restricts you. This has kept you from your true self and from knowing how cherished you are. It has kept you from flourishing like you normally do back Home.
You see, brave soul, you have been conditioned. I know this because I was conditioned too. And this human conditioning became glaringly obvious to me when I saw our true spiritual reality. I realized that we have all been kept from the truth about our infinitely loving universe. We have been trained to have an incredibly limited perspective and to believe in that perspective even if it’s not real. Let’s find out what that means for you.
You Have Been Conditioned
All your life, you have endured a systematic suppression of love at every level of your human experience. What’s more, you have been conditioned to suppress love yourself at every moment.
Yes, human conditioning is that invasive.
All your life, you have experienced this suppression of love constantly. In fact, Conditional Love has been repeatedly fed to you. It has been hammered into you to the point where you trust Conditional Love above all else—even above yourself.
You see, since the time that you were born, you were trained to limit love in all of your experiences in order to be accepted. You were trained to make love conditional so that you would fit in. You were taught to play the game of Conditional Love and to succeed at it. In short, you were conditioned.
That is why your life might feel frustrating. That is why your dreams might seem just out of reach—because you were conditioned to limit love, which limits everything else.
And the primary way that you were taught to limit love was to fear that you are not loved. You were conditioned to fear that you aren’t accepted just as you are, and that you have to prove your worth.
This has soured most everything that you experience. And experiencing this has taken extreme courage on your part.
Oh gorgeous soul, do you know how brave you are to be here living your human life? Do you know how courageous you are to be on this earth—this place where you can’t even see how infinitely loved you are? You haven’t been shown your true, loving identity while living through your challenging experiences, yet still you have tried your best to cope. You are extremely admired in our universe for the courage this has taken.
You have exhibited incredible bravery to come to this place that has forgotten love—this place that goes against your very nature. But never fear, dear friend. You’re going to get your true self back, just as I have mine. You’re going to be able to see your human conditioning and keep it from ever limiting you again—so much that you flourish completely! So much that you make your precious life what you’ve always wanted it to be.
And let’s start by understanding that your human conditioning boils down to one thing:
All your life, you have been pressured to do what others told you to instead of what comes most naturally to you—love.
How did this happen? Let’s find the answer.
And Where Does Conditional Love Come From?
Conditional Love is the systematic suppression of love. All humans are conditioned to suppress love in ways we can’t even see. But why? And where does Conditional Love come from?
Back in the annals of time, we, as immensely loving beings, left Home. We left Home and came to earth, and became humans. When we became humans, we were dramatically separated from our infinitely loving Home and our true selves; we forgot where we come from and who we are. We forgot that we are infinitely loving.
We forgot love ages ago, and this gravely limited us. We forgot about the infinite love within ourselves and became lost. As a result, we started to look for love in others. From that point on, love became something external. It became something to attain. Love became a commodity to bargain for, and we settled for just enough of it to survive.
In fact, we lived in so much fear of love’s depletion that we grabbed what little we could get for ourselves and carefully measured its exchange. We said, “If you love me this way that you can afford, then I will love you this much too.” We controlled love, and therefore we controlled each other. This distorted the very thing that we desired—love.
When we limited love, we limited ourselves. This is how love became conditional. This is how love became a ghost of its former self. In fact, in our desperation, we humans devalued love entirely. That is why our world is cynical about love.
Have you ever noticed that people often portray love as foolish unless it is controllable? Unrestricted love is made to seem unwise and even suspect. For example, in popular culture, stories of passionate True Love are always entwined with fear and suffering. Lovers are kept apart, no matter how much union is desired. Undying love is made dangerous and tragic.
Another example can be found between the sexes. Women, who naturally shower love upon their children, are treated as the weaker sex. They are portrayed as vulnerable and in need of protection, which leads to many atrocities. Men are taught to hide expressions of love from boyhood and to be emotion-less.
All of us feel wary about giving too much love to others because we fear getting emotionally hurt. We learn this early on as children. But getting emotionally hurt is entirely unnecessary. Just think about it. There is no reason why humans cannot give and receive love generously, even infinitely with each other. Love is an unlimited resource, and we all have hearts to feel it. There is more than enough love to go around on this planet for every human being. So why is love restricted at all?
There is a hidden reason why we limit love severely. There is a darker reason why we have forgotten our own love and don’t shower it upon each other liberally. Because we live in a world where love has been diminished intentionally. Why?
Because love is extremely powerful.
Let me say that again.
Love is extremely powerful.
In fact, love is the greatest power in creation. Indeed, love is your greatest power.
Love is your greatest power.
But you live on a planet where people fight for power. So you have been purposefully taught to disregard your own love so that you are not powerful.
Your power has been taken away from you.
The truth is that you, and all human beings, have been controlled for ages by those greedy for love—those who have forgotten their own. Which means that you, beautiful soul, have had your power taken away from you. Love has been intentionally controlled in order to control you.
That is why love has been made suspect—so that you are wary of your very self. You see, you have been meticulously trained from the inside out to suppress your own love and beg for it back, without your permission or even knowing about it. That is your human conditioning.
And the primary way that you are conditioned is through internal feelings of unworthiness. You suppress your own value from the inside out. This insecurity keeps you powerless.
You see, your human conditioning trains you to feel inferior. It keeps you feeling devalued, non-threatening, and limited. You feel that you have to compete for love as a limited prize and that it’s ludicrous to expect anything more. But you have been taught to settle for conditional love in your life exactly because this keeps you manageable.
Insecurity is a built-in control system. But now, you can know the truth—that you are securely loved beyond measure and always will be. Now, you can know that you are such an unlimited being of love, and that is why being limited always felt wrong to you. It has felt jarring your entire life. You are naturally free, and finally now you can break out of your limitations and remove everything that obscures you from your true self—love.
Because real love is limitless, and it is already yours. Love has always been who you really are. Love comes from inside you, never outside, and you don’t have to pay a price for what you already have. You don’t have to earn love or fight for it because you already are it. Being told otherwise was a lie.
Finally, dear soul, you can remember that you are infinitely loved in all the ways you have ever dreamed! You can remember that you are harmonious, perfect and never-ending LOVE itself. And you are not alone in these revelations.
Your Epic Return to Love
Are you ready to remove your human conditioning and return to ever-generous love? Are you ready to embrace the limitless possibilities for your life that you just couldn’t see before? If so, you are not alone.
So many people on this planet are doing this with you. So many of us are removing our human conditioning right now so that we can return to love together.
We are embracing the unifying, spiritual love that we come from. We are becoming fully spiritual while in human form. And excitingly, this process is improving the human experience radically—for everyone! Because together, our spiritual movement is changing life on earth for the better forever.
We are bringing the infinite love of Home to this planet. We are bringing heaven to earth.
Isn’t that the best news?!!!
Because your return to love is part of a massive movement, and this movement is affecting all of us right now. The world is quickly changing as we know it.
And get this, dear friend—this whole process is actually part of natural evolution. It is an evolutionary leap forward in consciousness. And all humans are being called to evolve in this way at this time.
Many people call this evolution “Ascension” or “The Shift,” because we are ascending to an elevated human experience; we are shifting toward higher consciousness. This process is also known as spiritual growth, and as more and more people like you wake up spiritually in your life, you help all of humanity—dramatically to grow spiritually too. You bring your own life-changing, Unconditional Love to this earth, and this helps to revive an entire species that forgot itself.
That is how powerful you are.
You see, all human beings are linked energetically inside, so when one of us returns to love, we help everyone else to do the same. Indeed, we all come from the same “oneness” with each other, so when you return to love, you inspire others automatically.
The truth is, bright soul, that you have always been one with creation. You are not separate from anyone or anything. You are not separate from the Divine universe because you yourself are Divine. In fact, you are a unique expression of what I like to call GodSource—the source from which all life began—the ever-generous and all-accepting creator of life.
Right now, your perception is opening wide so that you can see this. You are beginning to feel total love and its overwhelming euphoria. You are growing spiritually in your human life and remembering who you really are—an immense being of unifying LOVE—not an isolated individual. And this is changing everything about the way you used to live. But more specifically, this means that you are going through the process outlined in this book. You are personally freeing yourself from your conditioning and returning to Unconditional Love.
That is what this evolutionary leap means for you.
That is the meaning of your life.
Wow. There are no words.
And this massive, evolutionary leap you that are experiencing is affecting all of us, ready or not. You see, life is not business-as-usual on planet earth. That is why things seem so chaotic of late.
Because as humanity goes through this spiritual evolution, all of our conditioning is coming out so that it can be released. This is obvious when you look at world events, and this is something you’ve been experiencing in your own life. All the ways that you limit love are becoming more and more blatant and unbearable. These are your Limitations.
Now being confronted with your Limitations can get very messy and raw, but that is how you actually see them and let them go. You finally recognize how you restrict love—how you restrict your very self, which is exactly what we’ll dissect in the next section of this book.
And chances are, you’ve been healing your Limitations for quite some time. And as you continue on your journey toward freedom, it’s exciting to understand that just by recognizing your Limitations, you begin to dissolve them. Once this happens, you start to see that you aren’t limited after all. Thinking so was just an illusion. It was simply a narrow view of consciousness.
Consciousness is awareness, and as you become free of your Limitations, your view of life begins to expand spectacularly! Everything becomes increasingly joyful. All that you experience is bathed in the most peaceful and euphoric bliss—your real state, and this love comes from the inside out.
You see, everything that you feel inside creates what you experience. When you return to love, your experiences become sublime. And it all starts by removing your human conditioning.
This is when heaven-on-earth becomes yours, because having Home on earth is “Ascension.” And you can know the euphoric love of Home here in this lifetime. You can ascend to a higher state of living this time around. You don’t have to be trapped by conditional love any more.
Isn’t that thrilling beyond words?!!!
So much joy is waiting for you once you remove your human conditioning. Total harmony is yours to have and to hold. You get to remember just how sacred you are, and you embrace your true identity as a higher being of Unconditional Love.
You are returning to love. You are expanding your awareness to see life from a place of total LOVE. And you are elevating the human experience forever.
Simply amazing, isn’t it?
But what exactly is this love that I keep talking about?
Oh beautiful soul, you already know it so well.
You Already Know Unconditional Love
Unconditional Love is the awesome power of feeling total love for yourself and for everyone else in the world, right now and all of the time. Unconditional Love is the undeniable truth that you are purely accepted exactly as you are at this very moment and always will be.
Indeed, Unconditional Love accepts everyone and everything, utterly and completely. Because we are Unconditional Love already. We are love in its pure, expansive and unfettered form, and this love is more accepting than you can begin to fathom. It is total freedom.
Unconditional Love is the complete freedom to love and be loved right now—fully and without question.
The truth is that Love Is Free. Anything other is not love. You don’t have to need, want, or ask for love because you already embody its spiritual magic. Every challenge you have ever faced in your life has been trying to teach you this. Every struggle you have ever known has been trying to show you that love is already yours and that it is completely unconditional.
And you, gorgeous soul, you already know this love more than you know your first name. You already embody it in your being and understand it intimately. This love is who you were long before you came to this life, and it is who you will be for all eternity.
You are the deepest love.
Which means there’s no question you are worthy of it, right?
Yet within your human life, you were taught that you could only have so much love. You were taught that you were unworthy of being fully loved. That is why you might shy away from fully giving and receiving love. In fact, most likely, you are so used to limiting love that you have a hard time seeing this.
But this obscurity will become increasingly clear as you read this book. And in order to fully remember Unconditional Love, it’s important to understand what love is not—which is very different from what you’ve been taught on earth. And we’re going to dive straight into the ugly truth of what you’ve been taught in just a second.
But before we do that, it’s key to understand that Unconditional Love is not some lofty ideal being held up to you that you will always fall short of. You are simply returning to your true self that doesn’t feel inadequate in any way.
Yet feeling inadequate is ingrained in all of us. That’s why conditioning is especially difficult to recognize. What’s more, we have all been raised to think that our conditioning is actually “right” and “good.” You see, we have been trained to control each other and to feel this is the correct thing to do.
We do this most by giving love to some people and purposefully withholding it from others. This is most obvious when an individual is ganged up on by a group, such as when the media negatively turns on an individual. Of course, media professionals may feel completely justified in judging, ridiculing, ostracizing, and condemning certain public figures, but this behavior is actually barbaric. And this kind of public shaming even goes against our own laws that we pretend to uphold. It negates one of Western civilization’s key tenets—that an individual is innocent until proven “guilty.” Yet many of us go along with public condemnation more than we realize because we are surrounded by it.
At the heart of public shaming is mistrust. We cannot trust each other in modern society because we’ve been conditioned to think we are not trustworthy. We have been taught to not even trust ourselves—remember, through unworthiness. Thus, we shun our inherent loving nature.
For example, we judge people based upon appearance. This instantly limits our acceptance of others. We treat certain people differently, whether in line at the grocery store or walking down the street, or driving in traffic on the road. What we are actually doing in these instances is projecting our own mistrust of ourselves onto people, and we are doing so by acting superior. We are saying, “See, I am better than this person. I look superior, and I am following the rules.” We are trying to prove our worth to ourselves by putting someone else down. This is how we police our world with Conditional Love.
Conditional Love creates strife and struggle. It creates crime and war. And this stems from our own internal suffering that says we are not worthy of love and cannot be trusted to have it.
But when we remember to love ourselves and everyone generously, our beneficent nature shines through, and that is how the earth begins to finally shine! That is how we end the disharmony in the world so that no one needs to be policed. Because controlling others is what caused mistrust in the first place, but now everyone can feel harmonious and secure.
All disharmony is caused by controlling love. As humans, we’ve learned to do this to look acceptable to others. We control love so that we will fit in. This is most obvious during the teenage years.
You remember it, right?
In adolescence, we quickly learn to control our naturally loving nature. We do this so that we won’t get picked on. As teenagers, we painfully learn that we are supposed to try and be like everyone else. We are supposed to be conditioned. Thus we are bullied into suppressing our most natural instinct—love.
Unconditional Love is your most natural reaction. Love is what you want to experience most, but you were trained to limit love brutally from an early age.
Limiting Love plays out most often in family situations. Oh friend, I bet you know this too well! It goes without saying that we all tend to take things most personally from those we are vulnerable with most often. This means that you might deliberately withhold love from certain family members who have hurt you in the past—understandably. In fact, the idea of being generous with love toward those who hurt you seems ludicrous, let alone a Herculean task!
But as we’ll explore at length, the personal wounds that your family members trigger are actually wounds that you already carry inside. These wounds come from your conditioning, and they are waiting to be healed with your family members!
Let me explain.
And again, it has to do with the dramatic evolutionary leap we are all making right now.
A Master Plan for Healing
At this time on earth, during the giant, collective leap in consciousness that we are all going through, our human conditioning is asking to be healed. In fact, that is what you planned to do before you got here. You planned to heal your human conditioning in this lifetime.
Back Home, you mapped out your current life and made sure that it would encompass gigantic opportunities for healing, even though they’d be no picnic to experience. You actually asked your family members to trigger your conditioning for you so that you could heal it! Astounding but true. So before you came to this life, you contracted ahead of time with key family members at the soul level, and you asked these souls to please create situations on earth that would bring out your deepest feelings of unworthiness. You planned interactions with your family that would bait you into your painful conditioning.
It might sound shocking, but this is what all of us are actually going through right now on earth.
You see, our loving souls want us to feel the pain that comes from our human conditioning so that we can heal it. And we want to do so now! That is why your family members open your wounds for you throughout your earthly experiences. And they do so repeatedly until you heal.
That is why holidays can be an absolute nightmare! Think of all the family members confronting their deepest wounds together—and blindly! Sometimes, it is utterly ridiculous just how brave we are to be here on earth.
But we are working together with others to heal Conditional Love. We are doing this by being loved conditionally until we truly get that Unconditional Love is what we actually desire.
Examples of Conditional Love
Now, let’s look at some examples of Conditional Love so that you can really see how it differs from Unconditional Love. Let’s start with parenting.
When a new baby arrives, parents naturally feel an incredible amount of pure, Unconditional Love for their infant. But, as time passes, that baby grows into a child, and the child increasingly finds their own identity—one that is distinct from their parents. By the time the child becomes a teenager, they are defining and declaring who they authentically are, which can be very different from their parents. They are testing their wings and making mistakes, all in a bid for freedom.
Subsequently, the love the parents feel for their child can become challenged. Parents might want to keep their child safe and controlled, so they start to restrict them in ways that go beyond healthy structure. Parents might impose their own unrealized dreams onto their child and fears from their own personal experiences. Parents might make their child feel unloved if they stray from these parameters. Love can easily become used to control. Love can become contingent upon the ability to contain another human being.
Of course, beneath a parent’s desire for control is a deep fear for their child’s protection. But this fear comes from a lack of trust in a loving universe, and this stems again from the mistrust that we have all been taught. Deep down, we don’t trust life, ourselves, or our children, which can become glaringly obvious while raising a family. But most surprising of all, parents are conditioned to believe they are doing the “right” thing by over-confining their child.
Yet Unconditional Love never limits another person, and it never wavers—no matter how much it is challenged. Because it goes without saying, Unconditional Love is not conditional upon anything.
When parents believe in the natural, beneficent nature of their child, this helps that child to remember it too. Empowering a child with love allows them to shine as the capable being they already are. When parents believe in a loving universe that includes life planning and protection, they are able to trust the process of their child growing up. Thus, Unconditional Love restores the fearless trust that is meant to come naturally.
Unconditional Love frees the confines that we place upon one another and replaces them with loving empowerment. But practicing Unconditional Love in our world can feel almost impossible, especially between romantic partners. The following example can be a tough one to understand because it completely challenges common thought. It challenges the concept of infidelity.
Let’s dive in.
Romantic partners can feel that they love each other massively and unconditionally, until they get painfully tested. If infidelity occurs in a relationship, judgment and fear immediately tend to emerge—understandably. Especially if secretive infidelity occurs, which dishonors everyone.
When a hurt partner spirals into blame, possessiveness, or retribution, they often feel very justified in exhibiting this kind of Conditional Love. For good reason. Their relationship was conditional upon exclusivity—a tenant of Conditional Love—and by feeling justified in shaming their partner, they are proving that they only love conditionally.
But it’s challenging, I know. Infidelity is one of the toughest human challenges. It unearths our deepest insecurities about love and safety in this world. Infidelity shocks us with the pain of betrayal and abandonment, which happen to be core human wounds that we’ll be dissecting in this book. But again, Unconditional Love never wavers, no matter external challenges. It is radically different from the love that we humans have known.
The unconditional truth is that no one owns anyone ever. Partners do not own each other, nor do parents own their children. We aren’t meant to control anyone or anything. Unconditional Love brings the complete understanding that no one should feel entitled to another’s right to pure freedom. No human being should ever have power over another. To end the disharmony of power-over-others is to elevate the human experience forever.
Indeed, when inner love is powerful, a person doesn’t feel validation or rejection from anyone, regardless of what happens. There is no possessiveness or ownership of another because we are strong enough with love in ourselves. We do not fear being unloved. Remember, fearing that we aren’t loved is our human conditioning!
If a romantic partner is able to give themselves the infinite love they already have access to inside, instead of looking for it in another, they don’t need anyone to act a certain way. They don’t have to control or be controlled. They are already complete.
It turns out that romantic, Unconditional Love is one of the most powerful dynamics in the universe. I have learned this firsthand. Such love might seem superhuman, but that is exactly what you are becoming, bright soul—a super, highly evolved human being. And you are doing so by reclaiming your superpower of Unconditional Love.
Unconditional Love is Fearless
Unconditional Love is fearlessly powerful, and when you feel it you trust everyone without limitation. You support all people from a higher place, regardless of outcome. When you feel Unconditional Love, you accept everything because you have no insecurity whatsoever.
Unconditional Love makes you a sun unto yourself. You are simply powerful and you allow everyone to be, just as they are. All conditioned insecurity is gone.
I want you to know that you are a bright sun all your own, my friend, and you are naturally generous with love. You can wave away all issues with one graceful gesture. You can dramatically elevate the human experience. Because Unconditional Love is the simplest miracle in action. It is easy, light, and effortless, and when you embody it, nothing is a problem for you ever again.
Oh beloved soul, the human experience makes it easy to forget the magic of Unconditional Love, but life is always trying to remind you. Consider birth, for example. Have you ever felt the love that a newborn baby can bring? I have seen a tiny infant ignite a room of cynical adults with the bliss they had forgotten. I have seen adults stare in wonder and ask, “Why have we been living without this LOVE?!” What these adults are actually doing is recognizing Unconditional Love within themselves. They are seeing the reflection of their true selves in the newborn child!
Of course, admittedly, it is very difficult to truly know what Unconditional Love is until you feel it for yourself. For me personally, I thought that I understood the concept of Unconditional Love prior to my spiritual awakening, but I didn’t grasp just how accepting and free it is. I was very unaware of my human conditioning, and my heart had not fully opened.
Now, having opened my heart wide and removed the lion’s share of my conditioning, I have such a sense of freedom around love that anything else feels jarring. I realize that restricting love only hurts me, and that I am meant to love and be loved freely—without conditions, just as you are too.
I want you to feel this firsthand, brilliant sun. I want you to put your hand on your heart right now and feel the powerful force of love that you contain. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and put your hand over your physical heart. Take a few moments to turn your focus to the power in your chest.
Feel the love in your heart—even if it feels too intense or even a little painful, and let this love slowly build in intensity. Let this love glow and grow in strength—from glimmer, to firelight, to brilliant sun! Feel this love until it positively shines!!!
Bask in the peaceful life-force of love that you radiate. This is your true power. And this is only the smallest taste of the infinite love that you embody.
Love is the most powerful awareness available to you. Getting back to it simply means trusting what you already have.
Love is the unfathomable bliss that you already are, that you are learning to feel in human form. The more that you become unshackled from your conditioning, the more you will easily tap into this love all of the time. You will feel love effortlessly at every moment and never want to restrict it again.
There are no words to describe the magnitude of love and how powerful you actually are. You are reading this book because you are ready to grasp this and blaze a direct trail to your dreams! But it’s going to take Self-Love.
Love Your Amazing Self
As we’ve learned, your natural power of Unconditional Love has been suppressed. You’ve been taught to withhold love so that you are controllable. That is why getting back to Unconditional Love starts inside. You must love and accept yourself unconditionally.
The truth is that you cannot love others unconditionally until you love yourself this same way. You cannot see the true value in another until you stop putting conditions on the love that you give to yourself. Then, you are able to love everyone unconditionally.
Of course, Self-Love can seem selfish, but it is not. In fact, when we don’t love ourselves enough, we tend to act selfishly. We never get enough validation from within, so we seek it externally. We do so with a hunger that negatively impacts our lives because we are greedy for love.
We might become greedy for attention and material things too. We try to fill the gap left where love is supposed to be, but nothing can replace love except itself.
That is why, beautiful soul, you are being called to love yourself unconditionally. You are being asked to understand that you are worthy of the deepest love imaginable from yourself at every moment. And this requires self-compassion.
Right now, I want you to give yourself so much compassion for being a human being. I want you to go one step further and admire yourself for everything that you have endured in your earthly experiences. Anything that might seem like an embarrassment or failure is nothing even close to this perception. These “mistakes” were actually experiences that you designed prior to this life so that they would teach you. And your soul courageously chose these experiences because you dared to grow with more love than you ever have before.
You came to this challenging place to grow stronger with love, from the inside out. That is why Self-Love is the key to spiritual growth. And that is why it is time to embrace yourself with your own loving arms and be your own best friend.
As you do this, you will face the painful ways that you haven’t loved yourself before. We will explore this process in depth in Section Five, but for now, remember that love will heal every hurt that you feel. Guaranteed. If you don’t like something that you see in yourself, we will heal this feeling together in the upcoming chapters. All that it takes is love.
You see, all this time, you have simply been trying to get back to love. And I am here to tell you that you will succeed. You will love yourself more and more, and everything will change for you. You won’t judge yourself any longer, and this will be mirrored in every relationship that you have.
Indeed, your relationships have always reflected your relationship with yourself. That is why Unconditional Love begins with you.
And this brings up one the of the greatest misperceptions about Unconditional Love. Some people think that total love requires tolerating anything from anyone, even to the point of enduring abuse. But Unconditional Love never allows dishonoring anyone in any way. Unconditional Love always honors everyone completely—inside and out.
Whenever someone is being mistreated, whether by another person or within themselves, they are being subjected to human conditioning. The call is to recognize this and to stop being mistreated, and to never tolerate this ever again. That is how Unconditional Love behaves in the world.
So love yourself unconditionally and honor yourself at every moment. In fact, I want you to fall head over heels in love with yourself, and give yourself the love you’ve always wanted from others. That is how you get back to love. That is how you get back yourself.
I want you to put yourself first in everything that you do, from small gestures to larger decisions. I want you to be extremely loving to yourself as you go about your day. Always relate to yourself in the highest and most respectful manner. In fact, please treat yourself like spiritual royalty because that is who you are. You are a sacred expression of total LOVE, and you deserve to be honored at every moment.
You deserve endless LOVE! You deserve to be cherished and taken care of. You deserve to be nurtured and loved unconditionally—without fear, without worry of survival, and without any of the conditions you’ve had to endure in your life.
So love yourself enough to feel the joy you’ve always wanted. In little time you will find yourself standing in a higher place of bliss! I know because I am standing there right now as I write this.
Now let’s identify how you have been limiting love in your life. Let’s consciously remove your conditioning.
Unearth Your Hidden Conditioning
So far, we’ve discovered that love is severely limited in the human experience. We’ve also learned that you have been trained to limit love yourself. And it’s crucial to understand that when you limit love, you limit your ability to create the experiences you really want to have.
This limitation starts internally. It begins when you limit the love that you give to yourself. You then start to look for love externally in order to compensate for this. But anything external is intrinsically limited; it is removed from you and cannot fulfill you. So you create one Limitation after another in order to cope with this.
In this section, we will unearth these Limitations in detail. And the great news is that these Limitations are just illusions. That’s right—they are not real. Your Limitations were created from the illusion that love is outside of you. Now, you emphatically know it is not.
So how exactly do you recognize your Limitations and remove them? What do your Limitations look like?
If you are not living fully and authentically at this very moment for any reason, that reason is a Limitation that you’ve been conditioned to maintain. And that reason can be identified and overcome.
Let’s find a personal example.
Right now, get out a pen and piece of paper. Take a moment to write down the answers to the following questions. List three answers to each question.
1. What have I always wanted to do in my life that I have put off?
2. Why have I put these things off?
Write down three answers to each question. Compose a short but thorough list.
Now look at your list. These reasons are conditioned Limitations. Nothing should keep you from doing what you’ve always wanted to do. Any reason you find—for example, lack of money, time, or opportunity, is a way that you’ve been taught to limit yourself.
Excuses prevent you from doing what you want, but you have the power to free yourself. You can absolutely go for your wildest dreams because, thrillingly, the times that you live in support this. It is entirely possible to liberate yourself from your Limitations, one brave step at a time. And when you reach that goal, what will it feel like? You will be completely free and filled with love, from the inside out. You will remember how incredibly powerful and wise you really are. For the first time as a human being, you will feel total fulfillment in yourself and in every aspect of your life. And you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Love Is Free.
Does that sound good? Let’s keep going.
Let’s make some notes.
This book is designed to walk you through your personal de-conditioning process. It speaks directly to your progress. You may have started your de-conditioning many years ago, or maybe you’re just beginning. Either way, it can take some thorough excavation.
But the last thing I want is for you to get bogged down while trying to remove your Limitations! I don’t want you to get stuck and give up. So if you start to feel this way, you may want to simply read this book in its entirety before delving too deeply into your personal Limitations. By simply reading all of the information first, you will get a general sense of how Conditional Love affects you. This will be very motivating for you. And, as the conclusion of the book explains, you will see just how thrilling and powerful it feels to be free of your human conditioning. Afterwards, you may find it very beneficial to give the book a second read-through, this time getting personal and specific.
Whenever you decide to address your Limitations head on, start by looking at each of the Limitations in the following pages and see which apply to you. Write these down. Make detailed notes of the Limitations that you identify in yourself. Leave lots of space beneath each Limitation—an entire page is ideal, and add more information as you go along. We will reference these notes later.
As you make your notes, be brave with honesty. Ask yourself if there are any ways that you exhibit each Limitation. Be as open as you can to what you are being shown. Honesty is your ticket to freedom from the human experience as you’ve known it.
Keep in mind that you may not recognize your Limitations unless you delve deeply, so bring out your inner rebel and be vigilant! The more you can do this, the more you will help yourself.
As you go along, ask yourself the Freeing Questions for each Limitation that applies to you. Write your first responses down. Read the Active Assertions that follow and take some time to reflect upon what you are discovering. Often, Limitations interact with each other, which reinforces conditioning, so I’ve bolded Limitations throughout the text to show you this.
As you make your notes, continue to add to them throughout your day, every time you recognize a Limitation in yourself. Pay attention when you feel your body tightening in response while considering a Limitation. Pay extra attention if you feel a need to justify or defend one. These are the Limitations that you especially want to clear because they are sneaky and upheld collectively. You have been taught to stick to them in very subtle ways. In fact, you’ve actually been taught that sticking to your Limitations makes you a better person, but you are already a perfect being. Remember, there is no reason to limit your naturally loving self!
With perseverance, you will succeed at eliminating every Limitation you have through the infinite power of Unconditional Love. You will become conscious of your blocks and consciously remove them. And you will be elated by what this does for you.
There is nothing more exhilarating than getting back to your authentic self. It is worth every shred of effort, no matter how difficult the task may seem. Every small liberation builds upon itself, and the more you bravely face your existing Limitations, the more you benefit. Exponentially. You are able to see your Limitations from a place of higher, spiritual awareness and let them go.
And you are not alone in this process. I speak from personal experience. I am not a perfect human in any way, and I have done this work myself. In fact, I used to think my life was pretty great, but I was completely living for others. Yet I couldn’t see this because of my Limitations. Even now, I’m still having to let go of some toxic relationships, and I had to overcome my deepest Limitations in order to get this book into your hands!
What did I learn the most? That the gravest Limitation of all is to judge yourself for having Limitations. As we’ll explore, judgment is the number one obstacle to Unconditional Love, and it has got to go. The truth is that all human beings have Limitations because we have been trained to, and you are so admired for healing them now. I will be right here with you, cheering you on as you do.
Identify Your Limitations
So let’s deconstruct your human conditioning. Let’s look at how your Limitations manifest, starting with those most personal. The first Limitation is one you’ve already started to tackle. It’s called making Excuses.
Excuses identify your Limitations directly, and they can be very helpful because of this. Your excuses specifically articulate your personal Limitations, just like those you listed in the first exercise.
Excuses hide what you really want. Again, any reason you give for why you can’t do something—whether said aloud or to yourself, is a specific Limitation. Any way that you are compromising yourself or denying your desires is a Limitation that you can release, one brave step at a time.
Pay attention to how you justify not getting what you want in your life. This often involves financial Limitations. You might say to yourself, “I guess I’m actually glad this particular experience didn’t happen. I thought I wanted it, but it would have been expensive.” You might then find a few other reasons that corroborate this justification, like lack of time, having to really push yourself in a new way, and fearing a less familiar experience. You may find that things don’t go your way because you are subconsciously trying to protect yourself from the unfamiliar or uncomfortable.
Have the courage to go for what you want and remove the Limitations that tempt you otherwise. Excuses are there to be acknowledged and overcome.
For example, a potential artist might say, “I dream of being a classical portrait painter, but I can’t follow my dream right now because I can’t afford to quit my job, go back to school, and invest the time that it will take. They don’t even have a top art school where I live. What’s more, I don’t have a studio to paint in. I probably wouldn’t be that good anyway, and right now my family needs me.”
Here we have many Limitations in black and white—Lack of Money, Time, Impossible Standards, Logistics, Unworthiness, and Obligation. Understandably, these Limitations can lead one to feel completely hopeless, so why even try?
But if this artist were to take steps at overcoming their Limitations, they would achieve their dream much sooner than they realize. They could keep their job and enroll in weekend classes at a local art school. They could use the school studio to create their work and develop their own unique style of painting. They could also let their family take more responsibility for themselves, which would be healthy for everyone.
This artist would then find the universe supporting them to take bigger steps towards their painting dream. They would find themselves matched with the perfect art teacher to guide them. They would easily find the money to continue forward, as long as they continued to trust themselves instead of their conditioning. Looking back, our brave artist would be amazed at how little time it took to reach their goal. Not only this, but they would inspire their family members to live their own dreams.
Bravery and self-trust light the way, and, as we’ll explore next, the universe always delivers your steadfast beliefs. When you put your life into your own hands instead of making excuses, anything is possible for you.
- Do you make excuses for anything?
- If so, what are the excuses you make? Identify a few of them, including your earlier list.
- How do each of these excuses specifically limit you in your life? Write down what they keep you from doing.
- Ask yourself if you feel you have to make excuses in order to cope in your life. Or do you make excuses so that you’ll be accepted? Can you accept yourself without making excuses?
- What would it feel like to stop making excuses altogether?
- Assert what I am denying myself.
Feeling unworthy underlies every Limitation that you face. It permeates your limiting thoughts and actions. Remember, you’ve been secretly taught to think less of yourself so that you are controllable. You’ve been conditioned to think that you’re not “good enough” and that you need to be managed.
Until this false belief is healed, it will continue to affect everything that you do, both consciously and subconsciously. You see, your beliefs create what you experience. So if you believe that you are unworthy, you will feel that you deserve your Limitations and you will continue to create them. You will end up sabotaging yourself, whether you’re aware of this or not.
It’s important to understand that you have been trained to compensate for feeling unworthy in specific ways, such as looking “good enough.” You might dishonor yourself inside, but look successful enough to the world. You might stay in a soul-destroying job or in a destructive marriage, because they make you feel legitimate, secure, and successful.
Feeling unworthy also urges you to make yourself small. It can make you dumb yourself down instead of being bold and unique. Unworthiness can make you an underachiever. You might feel that there is no point to try at anything because you feel unworthy.
It’s the same with overcompensating and over-achieving. You might try to compensate for feelings of lack within yourself by going above and beyond to prove your worth. This is exhausting and doesn’t honor you. You see, unworthiness creates blocks that deny your needs. In fact, you can become so blocked that you feel you don’t even need your needs! You make Excuses that justify not needing them.
Feeling unworthy keeps you from being able to receive from others. It makes you want to give too much and think that this is absolutely fine—even noble! Unworthiness keeps you from being taken care of the way you so deserve. It encourages you to isolate yourself in a controlled and limiting environment.
Unworthiness is the reason you might feel insecure or embarrassed. It’s why you might feel cheated or humiliated sometimes. But you attract these situations that put you down in order to address your own lack of worth inside. You draw the experiences that help you heal inner feelings of unworthiness.
The solution is Self-Love. When you stop limiting the love that you give to yourself, you assert your self-worth. You don’t feel put down any more because you’re no longer putting yourself down inside. You become solid with love in everything that you do, unconditionally.
This means that you no longer sabotage yourself. And then something wonderful happens—you don’t feel that you have to prove yourself throughout your day. Instead, you get to focus on what brings you joy! All of the energy spent overcompensating can now be used for creative purpose and fulfillment.
As you relearn how to love yourself unconditionally, one thing will become obvious—anyone who tries to undermine your sense of self-worth is also trying to control you. Now you know better and can protect yourself with your own solid worth!
- Do you feel undervalued in your life? If so, how do you try to compensate for this?
- Do you put yourself down? What are the ways you devalue yourself?
- What would happen if you started to value yourself more? How would that change your life?
- Forgive myself for putting myself down in the past.
- Learn the golden lesson to never betray and abandon myself again.
- Assert my incredible worth.
When you were born into this life, you became extremely individualized. You forgot your loving connection to all of creation and felt separate from others. You began competing for love as something outside yourself. Your ego developed to do your competing for you.
Since that time, your ego has been trying to protect you by comparing you to everyone else. That is why you might sometimes feel superior to others or perhaps jealous of them. This is your ego’s way of helping you to “win” at the game of fighting for love.
Your ego is trying to make up for the fact that love has been limited, but by protecting you in this manner, your ego has put you in survival mode. Of course, humanity has a long history of survival, and it’s easy for you to get trapped in survival mode because it feels familiar. You see, your ego makes survival mode feel safe.
The solution is to thank your ego for the great job it’s done trying to protect you thus far, and then throw it a retirement party! From that moment forward, put love in charge of your life instead. Then you can thrive, not merely survive. You can forget your conditioning instead of forgetting yourself. Forgetting yourself was just a game, and that game is over now.
As you become increasingly aware of your ego, keep in mind that it is sneaky and feels wounded. Your ego may keep try to keep you in limitation, telling you that things are great just the way they are because it is afraid. But the truth is that you can have so much more! And if you feel yourself wanting to compare, compete, or convince in any way in the future, this is always your ego taking over, so send it back into retirement, no matter how many times it takes. Put your hand on your heart and live from there.
Most importantly, please keep in mind that your ego can be detrimental to your Ascension process. The wounded ego is a control system that purposefully doubts and ridicules anything that isn’t limited. You have to override your ego and listen to your soul instead. Implementing a daily spiritual practice that you design yourself is the best way to do so.
- Do you feel competitive in your life? Do you feel you need to compensate for not feeling good enough?
- If so, do you feel that your ego controls you? Ask yourself how your ego specifically controls you.
- How would it feel if your ego no longer ran any part of your life? Can you imagine this? What does this look like?
- Assert living from a place of total LOVE.
Stress is a Limitation that literally blocks love. Fear is the primary cause of stress, which we’ll be delving into extensively.
Stress arises when you take on way too much in life—far beyond normal responsibilities. Your system becomes overloaded. Your body becomes riddled with blockages that keep love out. Unhealthiness sets in, and you live perpetually in survival mode.
Clinical disorders come from extreme amounts of stress acquired from extremely stressful situations, in this lifetime and others. After shutting down from shock, specific coping methods are developed in order to survive post-trauma. These coping methods hold you back severely.
As with all Limitations, Unconditional Love is the cure. When you relearn to love yourself unconditionally, you stop blocking love. You heal your buried pain, which I’ll be walking you through in detail. As you release excessive worry, your stress blockages are removed and you learn to live in a whole new way. You get out of survival mode and become free to thrive at last.
- Do you take on too much in your life? Do you feel stressed?
- What do you specifically worry about? Write these things down.
- Ask yourself if it feels like you’re living in survival mode. What would it feel like to thrive instead? Feel this feeling.
- Have you suffered from trauma in your past?
- What would it be like to have zero stress in your life? Can you picture yourself completely rid of all stress at this moment? How does this feel?
- Release excessive responsibilities.
- Assert my natural ability to heal anything.
Looking Outside Yourself
When you look to someone or something outside yourself for what you really want, you become limited. When you look to yourself instead, you stop being limited.
For example, a lot of us look to external objects and experiences that seem exciting. We hope these things will finally make our lives great. But fulfillment can only come from the inside, not outside. You have to create fulfillment yourself instead of being distracted by external illusions.
You might also look outside yourself for external validation, but only you can validate yourself. External validation will only resonate if you yourself agree with it wholeheartedly—consciously and subconsciously. Even if you receive heaps of praise, it will never stick if you don’t believe in your own greatness inside (and by the way, you truly are great!).
You might also look outside yourself when you analyze other people. Anything that you feel another person should be doing is something that is asking for attention in you. The challenge that you judge another for is a reflection of your own challenges.
It’s very freeing to understand that you aren’t here to “fix” other people, but rather to focus on your own growth. If you meddle in someone else’s challenges, you take away their opportunities to remove their own Limitations. You cannot do things for others that they should be doing for themselves, but you can inspire them and set an example with your own life.
Denial is another form of looking outside yourself. You might concoct a fantasy in order to escape your Limitations. This keeps you from addressing them. You might avoid your Limitations altogether, which hides them completely. This keeps you from doing something concrete about your Limitations. Remember, Limitations show up exactly so they can be healed. Denial sabotages your chances to do so.
Lastly, you might do too much for others and ignore your own issues. Know that you are here to receive as well as give. Start giving more to your beautiful self first and the balance will be righted.
The same goes for being overly dependent on someone. If you become too dependent on another, you lose a healthy sense of self. You might even set yourself up to be taken advantage of. Life is designed to be a harmonious exchange of give and receive.
- Do you focus too much on other people instead of yourself?
- Do you look outside yourself for fulfillment? If so, how exactly? List some ways.
- Do you tend to be distracted?
- Can you practice being completely present with yourself?
- Assert my unlimited inner resources.
- Assert my independence.
Feeling obligated to others takes away your inherent freedom. It keeps you busy thinking about and doing things that have nothing to do with your life purpose. You end up spending most of your precious energy on other people and what you think they expect from you. You do this is order to feel accepted, appreciated and loved. You do this to feel special.
Obligation is a Limitation that is meant to trap you in Conditional Love. Free yourself from all obligations, and let others be free from theirs. This can feel quite radical, but it is the route to Unconditional Love. And please know that you are already so incredibly special! You don’t have to jump through hoops to prove this.
As you begin to let obligations go, you may feel very guilty at first, but with each brave step away from obligation, you will increasingly become in charge of your own life. You might think that it’s impossible to free yourself from some of your social, family, and work obligations, but the more you assert your independence, the easier this will become. This is one of the key steps to living a life without limitation.
In everything that you do, ask yourself, “Does this action free me with Unconditional Love, or does it keep me stuck in the conditional?” Choose the former always, and free yourself.
Above all, please understand that you don’t owe anyone anything, ever. That was simply a lie designed to keep you limited.
- Do you feel obligated to anyone for anything? If so, how? List some of your obligations.
- What would it feel like to have zero obligations?
- Assert my total freedom.
Blame is the projection of your own issues onto someone else. That which you blame another for wouldn’t hurt so much otherwise. You must look within and see why you are so affected by any situation where the need to blame arises.
Of course, it’s challenging to not blame egregious behavior. From personal experience, I can vouch that injustice feels terrible. But, there is a larger plan at hand. Blame brings your core human pain out so that it can be healed. This pain comes from the injustice of being conditioned.
So every time you find yourself blaming someone for something they’ve done to you, forgiveness calls. This is what heals your core human pain. If someone blames you for something that feels unjust, and you feel very hurt by this, the pain is already in you. It is simply waiting to be healed.
This requires forgiveness—both for yourself and the other person. We’ll be focusing on forgiveness extensively in this book because it frees you from Conditional Love. And in Section Five, we’ll discover some simple techniques that can help you to forgive all.
- Do you blame anything external for your experiences? What or whom do you blame?
- Have you been blamed for something before, and how did that feel? Can you directly address that feeling and begin to heal it?
- What if no one was to blame for anything, including yourself? How would that feel?
- Assert forgiveness for all, including myself.
Explaining and Defending
This is another example of limiting behavior that stems from Feeling Unworthy. If you find that you’re defending and explaining yourself often to people, look within yourself. Are you trying to prove something to yourself? Are you justifying the Limitations in your life? Can you fully accept your humanness and how you’ve handled the experiences that you’ve bravely lived through?
Given everything you have juggled in your life, know with absolute certainty that you have truly done the best you can at every moment. It is time to love yourself unconditionally now. You do not have to explain or defend anything to anybody—most especially yourself! You are a spectacular, eternal being who deserves to be loved completely, exactly as you are.
If you look closely, you may find that you have a constant internal dialogue that defends and explains your actions to yourself. This dialogue may be coming up with all kinds of Excuses all day long to explain why you do what you do. This is your Ego talking. Self-compassion is called for.
If you’re justifying to yourself that things are ok in your life when deep down they aren’t, then courage is required. It is up to you to stop settling in your daily experiences. No one else can do this for you. When you reach for more, you will be forever grateful for the freedom you create for yourself.
If you find that you’re constantly defending and explaining yourself to certain people, you may have outgrown these relationships. This is inevitable on your spiritual journey. Sometimes others just can’t understand you because you’ve moved to another level of awareness. These people may subconsciously want to hold you back so that you stay with them or so they can “protect” you.
You may not resonate with certain people any more, which means that it’s time to lovingly move on or distance yourself from them—even if you are related. Drama and hard feelings are not required. Keep in mind that people always come back into your life if they are meant to.
Others may judge you for freeing yourself from your conditioning, and this judgment may feel very hurtful. You see, most people think that Unconditional Love means tolerating negative behavior, and they may judge you if you refuse to participate. Most people also think that espousing Unconditional Love means that you feel superior, and they may judge you if you don’t act like a saint. But trust me, saintliness is next to impossible as you grow on your human path. Remember, life here teaches through messy and raw “mistakes,” and those who judge you are simply afraid to look at their own.
If people judge you for growing spiritually, you may feel tempted to defend yourself to others, yet no explanation is needed. Please know, precious soul, that you deserve to be free, utterly and completely. Anyone who makes you defend yourself for getting back to your true self is simply conditioned. They just don’t understand that Ascension is happening yet. Let them go and keep soaring so you can lead the way! Otherwise, they will hold you back.
If you find that people are jealous of you, this is a true sign that you’re really beginning to flourish! Take jealousy as a compliment. Let it motivate you to express yourself freely and boldly, and to thrive even more!
And it goes without saying, don’t give your gorgeous energy to people who are jealous.
- Do you find yourself defending and explaining yourself to other people? If so, what exactly do you explain and defend? Do you defend yourself internally as well?
- What if you had nothing to explain or defend? How would that feel? Sit with this feeling for a moment.
- Assert being wise with silence.
Your conditioning encourages you to hide your real self and adopt a superficial identity—your Ego. This false front worries about appearances. It worries about how you look to others and what they think. Your ego might exaggerate your accomplishments or tweak them so you appear better to everyone. Sometimes, it might tweak them to look more humble.
The solution is to tell the truth to yourself and everyone. See how freeing this can feel! Simply express yourself sincerely in your life—even if this might look awkward, and get back to your own authentic beauty. The truth is that you are far more attractive when you show your true colors than when you dim your light, so don’t give a damn what anyone thinks—including your ego!
Of course, it’s very easy to dim your light within your human experience, which we’ll keep exploring in the next Limitation. In order to free yourself from your conditioning, you must stop all hiding whatsoever. This takes courage. Try to see how you might be hiding yourself or concealing your true desires out of Fear. When you face your fears and come into the light, the world is your oyster!
- Do you worry a lot about how you look to others?
- If so, what would happen if you didn’t look so great to other people?
- Could you live with a less than perfect appearance and still love yourself? Could you allow others to love you this way too?
- Assert my authenticity.
Concealing anything is a direct result of your conditioning. Heck, your conditioning itself is hidden when you’re conditioned! You hide your true self because you’re afraid people won’t accept you. You settle for less than you desire.
This is when you start to act sneakily about your needs. It’s all part of the game of Conditional Love—the game of hiding who you really are and what you really want.
Conditional Love keeps you in a perpetual state of worry that constantly seeks approval from others. This makes you stagnant and unfulfilled. Your life becomes a limiting comfort zone.
Conditional Love encourages you to put your dreams on hold or dim them significantly so that you don’t risk looking foolish to those around you. This means that you also have no real chance to thrive.
But once you see how conditioned you’ve been from knowing true joy, you can never tolerate this again. You find an urgent need to be transparent, authentic, and even vulnerable, because this is where love resides.
This new transparency over-rules old habits of hiding yourself. You can recognize your incredible worth and know that you deserve so much more than you’ve been told. The energy you had put towards hiding becomes available to help you shine.
- Do you hide things from others and yourself? If so, what are some of the specific ways that you hide?
- What would happen if you had to face how you really feel inside? Can you be your own best friend and listen to yourself? Can honor your authentic feelings more? How would that change your life?
- Do you hide your true desires? Can you bravely break out of the shadows and leap into the spotlight? What would happen if you did?
- Assert living out loud!
Addiction is a major, debilitating distraction that keeps you from looking at yourself. If you become addicted, you are avoiding your deepest pain.
Addiction grabs onto something Outside of Yourself—obsessively so, so that you ignore what cries out to be loved inside. When you hunger so deeply inside, you make up for this with external greed. You give most of your energy, time, and resources to an addiction instead of love to yourself.
All greed comes from a lack of Self-Love. Self-Love powerfully heals your pain. When you begin to truly love yourself, you become strong enough to face what hurts the most and heal it. This is when you can fully embrace and accept yourself—human experiences and all. You don’t need to feel numb any more.
As we’ll explore, healing your emotional pain is key to freeing yourself from Conditional Love. It’s also key to healing addiction. You no longer have pain to run from.
- Can you identify any ways you experience addiction? If so, can you allow yourself to be completely free of distractions for one moment?
- In that moment, can you look within yourself and face anything that feels emotionally painful? Wrap your arms around yourself and hear what cries out to be loved. Soothe this cry and honor it.
- Can you see how you are being shown to love yourself more?
- Assert facing my pain so that I can heal it.
If you set standards so high that you can never reach them, this means that you can never fail. Your goal remains unattainable, which delays the responsibility of creating for yourself.
Procrastination and perfectionism are two reflections of Impossible Standards. So is being a workaholic. These Limitations put distance between you and your dreams. They make you prove yourself so much that you lose sight of your goals.
When you are never satisfied with what you do, it is easy to sabotage success. You regret every choice you make and become paralyzed. But it is far better to make something authentic than to never create out of Fear that it won’t be a masterpiece.
Have the courage to feel good enough to express yourself creatively without caring what others think. Have the courage to “fail” in your life. This is the surest way to succeed. You will have to be more vulnerable, which helps you to grow in your work and life immensely. Indeed, vulnerability is the genius behind the entire human experience. This is how you grow exponentially so that you flourish. Vulnerability is what you bravely came here to undergo.
When it comes to impossible standards, don’t strive to be perfect. Being perfect keeps people from loving you for yourself. Give others the chance to love you unconditionally. This gives you the opportunity to love yourself unconditionally too. Trying to be perfect is a limitation that stems from Feeling Unworthy, which you can now let go of. You are already divinely perfect anyway.
- Do you find that you set impossible standards for yourself? If so, in what ways?
- How would it feel to love yourself completely, even if you made a mistake in front of other people? Can you sit with this idea for a moment?
- Can you allow others to love you even if you aren’t perfect?
- Freely express and accept myself exactly as I am.
Being Impulsive and Obsessive
It’s exciting to know that these Limitations are actually hallmarks of tremendous creativity. If you find yourself being impulsive or obsessing a lot, channel that energy into a creative project that you’re passionate about. You have these qualities so that you can be an artist of life. Use them to your advantage instead of disadvantage.
This trait can make you become overly serious and Self-Absorbed, so be sure to read about that Limitation in the next few pages. Being impulsive and obsessive can also come from trauma. Read the description of Stress if this applies to you. Keep in mind that you may be suffering from trauma that occurred in another lifetime.
It’s also worth noting that being impulsive is related to spontaneity, which is a magical spiritual trait. Try to engage in the latter instead of being taken over by external things that sabotage you. Remember, only you can fulfill yourself.
- Do you find yourself being impulsive? If so, in what specific ways?
- Can you slow down before taking action? Can you sit with yourself and identify what you really want in your life that will truly fulfill you? How can you make that happen?
- Do you find that you obsess about things? If so, ask yourself if you can you pour that energy into a fulfilling project that you want to create. Write down one step to get started on this project and follow through on it today.
- Assert my incredible talent and create with passion!
Painful Health Issues
Your body is always showing you your Limitations. Sometimes, these become severe. Sometimes, you’re meant to endure physical pain as a way to teach others, but most often you are meant to overcome it.
First of all, please know how brave and admired you are for enduring pain in all of its forms. The courageous goal is to look at what your body is trying to tell you instead of feeling like a victim. Your body is a living miracle and has infinite capacity to heal itself. Let this inspire you to take charge of your healing instead of feeling at the mercy of life.
Now I know this is not easy to do when you are in pain! What’s more, we have all been taught to feel helpless about medical issues. We are supposed to look to Authority to tell us what is wrong with us and how to fix it—usually with medicine that simply masks our symptoms or surgery that cuts them out. But every pain in the body is related to emotional pain that is asking to be healed.
If you take charge of your physical and emotional healing, you will heal on all levels. If you explore the deeper meaning behind that which plagues you, you will see that your body is simply trying to get your attention to heal the deepest wounds from your conditioning.
There is so much wisdom to be found in the manifestations of illness. There are several reliable books that can help you to identify the issues coming up for you in the physical, so you can consciously heal from the inside out. Seek the books that call to you. Look for natural healing methods and ingredients. Everything that you need is in Nature, just waiting to help you. And know that I am with you, bright soul, as you heal!
From personal experience, I can attest that every time I process the corresponding emotional issue related to my bodily pain, my physical pain goes away. If my physical pain persists, I keep delving into my emotional issues until I reach a full healing breakthrough.
- If you suffer from a health issue, what benefits are you receiving from this issue by having it in your life? For example, is your health issue providing you with empathy from others? Or is it allowing you to slow down in your life? One prime example is eye sight. Is your eye sight allowing you to ignore what is in front of you or in the distance? Or, is another medical issue forcing you to sit still?
- How can you provide the same benefits that you are receiving without having to suffer for them? Ask yourself if you can honor yourself as you deserve in this way.
- Assert command of my body by learning what my ailments are teaching me.
- Trust my solid, inherent capacity to heal.
Unwanted Weight Gain
Most human beings have the potential to enjoy healthy, fit and trim bodies, but many of us struggle to do so. We carry extra weight on our frames and remain sluggish. We feel less than our best and endure the torture of eating issues. I personally know how this feels.
But unwanted weight gain presents an excellent opportunity to see what is holding you back from truly thriving. If you look closely, you will find Limitations to be healed. And, as we’ll discuss momentarily, you’ll find that the food supply on this planet has been purposefully manipulated in order to keep all of us feeling less alive.
So know that if you are carrying around extra weight and it bothers you, you are being sabotaged and you deserve otherwise. Your beautiful body is your one and only vehicle to experience life with, and you deserve to be in command of it. Ask yourself why you aren’t able to have what you want, and then ask the same question again. Keep asking until you get to the root of the issue.
You might find that you are afraid to actually thrive in your life. You don’t feel that you deserve to. The pressure of perfect weight is too great, and you will never live up to its expectations. Better to just keep the weight on.
But what’s so beautiful about this situation is that it’s a perfect opportunity to love yourself unconditionally. If you can love and accept yourself completely, extra weight and all then you have truly gotten back to Unconditional Love. Once you do, you may find it easy to reach your healthiest weight.
Extra weight can also be a protective measure that insulates you from the world. You might guard yourself from being vulnerable by adding a layer around your body. You might numb your emotional sensitivity by numbing yourself with food. This is very common for sensitive souls who came here to help with Ascension!
If you can get back to spiritual love, such protective measures are no longer needed. You know that you are completely cherished by the universe and are strong enough to remain unaffected by anything external. You are powerful with Unconditional Love and don’t need a suit of armor any more.
Of course, the practical solution to weight loss is to take one step at a time towards your health, exercise, and nutrition goals. The big picture can seem impossibly overwhelming, so be happy with smaller accomplishments. Work on feeling worthy of each little step and you will find your favorite balance.
When it comes to eating, allow yourself to have what you really want instead of feeling deprived and overcompensating later. As you respect your desires this way, you will feel drawn to healthier choices that honor your body most. Your body craves clear water, plant-based nutrition, and movement through exercise, and as you provide these, you will become more aware of these essential needs.
Your vitality will increase as you progress. Your enthusiasm will also increase, as will perks—like being able to wear certain clothes. This lets you move onto more exciting things! You will find it easier and easier to keep going until you positively shine.
But awareness is key. And in order to make conscious choices for yourself, it’s vital to face the ugly truth about the food supply that we’re all dealing with.
Let’s dig in.
The Human Food Supply
As human beings, we are surrounded by processed, nutrient-devoid, and toxic ingredients that are extremely unhealthy. Popular food is laden with pesticides and additives, and is genetically modified. This dumbs us down and harms us. It keeps us overweight and powerless, expecting more of the same. It’s a very real and dangerous form of conditioning, and it’s happening to our children too, right before our eyes.
For example, the water supply in the USA is fluoridated on purpose. Fluoride is a toxin that inhibits your spiritual connection to your own powerful love, so a reverse osmosis filter is essential. We’re also encouraged to crave animal protein, but meat and dairy clog our connection to the Divine, sabotage our liver health, and speed up aging. They keep us locked in violent systems of suffering and fear. Meat asks us to literally consume death! Usually without gratitude for the animals who give their lives, and often without concern for how they lived and died. This unconscious meat consumption pervades western culture. So we can start by simply being conscious of what we’re partaking in and offering sincere gratitude to the animals that we eat.
Delving further, it’s important to understand that when we eat meat, we are bringing the fight that the animal suffered into our bodies. No wonder so many of us feel agitated throughout the day! But we are so conditioned to adhere to animal protein that it can be difficult to free ourselves from it. Indeed, we are bombarded by images of meat everywhere we go. Beloved family members even pressure us to stick with the program! They believe the propaganda that we need animal protein to stay healthy, but the scientific evidence is in: meat and dairy are incredibly unhealthy for us. We’ve been conditioned to believe the hype because this keeps us literally feeding into a system of limitation and early death. This is why so many people go vegan after “waking up” spiritually in their lives—a personal choice you should only make if you want to. Vegans know that peace comes from within and is directly related to what we ingest.
Food is a pivotal way that humans have been intentionally controlled, as is alcohol. Alcohol is poison, so please don’t take poison! Take charge of what you put into your beautiful body—whatever you decide that means be for you. Be conscious and aware. Be free of all forms of human conditioning, including pressure to do what others tell you—including me! Follow your own guidance and make choices that truly resonate inside.
- Do you feel that you’re not in charge of your beautiful body?
- If so, can you allow yourself to accept that your body is beautiful?
- Do you know just how beautiful you are?
- Assert command of my body and my natural right to thrive.
Complaining keeps you stuck in limitation—repeatedly. It articulates a negative perspective that is quite powerful, one which keeps you from taking ownership of your life. Complaining manifests most often when you repeat stories of pain to others or yourself, but this actually creates more of the same, because the truth is that you create your reality.
Of course, being human can be extremely challenging—more than ever during these evolutionary times. As such, I completely empathize with the need to complain. In fact, I’ve done my share of complaining in my life! But what’s so exciting is that times have changed. Now, we can all really have what we want. But we have to get it ourselves.
If you find yourself complaining a lot, put your energy to better use. Stop complaining and start creating a better life story, and do so actively. It is up to you. Understand that whomever you’re complaining to can’t change things for you beyond a temporary fix. Only you can truly rescue yourself. When you do, you won’t be bringing others down too.
And that’s thrilling! After lifetimes of being conditioned, you now get to finally be in charge of your reality in a positive way. And it’s uplifting to know that your creative capabilities are increasing with higher consciousness, which means that you really can create whatever you want. But first, you have to stop resisting.
One of the most important spiritual tenets is acceptance. If you can accept things exactly how they are right now, you stop resisting them. Complaining is resistance, which creates more of what you don’t want, but acceptance frees you to manifest your true desires. So stop giving your energy to what you don’t like and start giving it to what you do.
Gratitude also frees you. Being grateful for anything that you love in your life keeps you from complaining and sabotaging your beautiful self.
- Do you find yourself complaining about your life? If so, in what ways?
- Can you accept the things that you experience exactly as they are? From this place of acceptance, can you take more and more responsibility for your experiences?
- Assert being in command of my reality instead of resisting it.
- Assert gratitude.
- Create my reality consciously!
As we’ve explored, Self-Love is the key to Unconditional Love. But being self-absorbed is an entirely different matter. It is a Limitation that actually keeps you from Self-Love, and therefore keeps you from Unconditional Love.
If you are self-absorbed, then you are fixated on an identity of yourself that is separate from others. This further reinforces your sense of separation from love. If you are self-absorbed, you are blocking love from coming in, which means that you cannot receive, and therefore cannot give. There is no exchange with your loving universe, just a repetitive loop.
What’s worse, you can’t even see this. You have put yourself in a box, which makes your Limitations all the more challenging.
But as you let go of these Limitations, space is made for love to emerge. You start to see how absurd your preoccupations were, and your view of life expands. You stop being so serious and can even laugh at yourself! You learn to create fearlessly and invite the world to join you.
This is when you find that you are really good at helping others as well as yourself, and now you have loving awareness. In fact, your awareness is stronger because you were once self-absorbed! This demonstrates the ultimate value of your Limitations after they are cleared.
It’s helpful to note that narcissism falls under the category of being self-absorbed. People with mild narcissism want to look good out of insecurity. They want to look good as a superficial way to boost self-esteem. Extreme narcissists have no empathy for others. Their hearts are completely closed. These people can be great teachers in life, but word-of-warning, they are toxic personalities to have around.
- Do you feel exhausted from being too focused on yourself? If so, can you let that tremendous effort go? How would it feel to free yourself from this worry and be a child again?
- Can you sit with this feeling for a moment?
- Can you fully love the child in you?
- Assert expanding my awareness.
- Assert my authentic self-worth.
Understandably, it’s challenging for any of us to get out of survival mode when we experience a lot of drama, especially during these Ascension times. I learned this the hard way.
Once upon a time, I endured three years of personal upheaval. My drama led me to cling to my story of pain. From that experience, I discovered that it was up to me to stop perpetuating my own soap opera. I had to end the drama that I was feeding into.
How? I had to stop replaying painful stories in my mind. I had to quit judging the people who were judging me. I also had to stop drinking wine at night! In short, I had to stop engaging in the addictive need to make people understand that I was right and they were wrong, because in the end all that mattered was how I felt about myself. Lo’ and behold, when I healed my own self-judgment, everyone around me stopped chiming in too.
If you find yourself encumbered by drama, seek peace in yourself so that you can attract peace in your outer world. Rescue yourself from the ongoing saga of your own making so that you can flourish how you are meant to.
Keep in mind that drama is an external Addiction, and you deserve a life that is drama free. Drama is perpetuated by gossip, which is a very destructive activity that only hurts you. Decide to disengage from gossip of all forms. Find better endeavors that feed your soul.
As you remove drama from your life, you may need to withdraw from certain social interactions for a time. You may need to distance yourself from relationships so that you can re-center inside. Create plenty of alone-time during which you can hear your soul. This will allow you to build a new harmonious foundation for yourself. You may find that you’ve outgrown relationships with people you were in conflict with.
What else can you do? Strive to take the high road in your interactions with others. Again, I learned this the hard and very messy way! Don’t engage in battles that only bring you down. Stay away (peacefully) from those who want to fight and let everybody be free. Do the inner work yourself that gets triggered.
When you feel strong enough with love, which remember is your most natural reaction, you can come from a wiser detached place in conflict situations. This will elevate everyone’s experience.
That said, don’t beat yourself up if things get messy. Life is messy and meant to be full of learning “mistakes.” Your experience is not your identity. It’s just an experience.
- Do you find that you are met by constant drama in your life?
- If so, can you imagine your life without such distractions? What would your life look like and how would it feel?
- Assert my power to create a peaceful life.
Time is one of your most constricting Limitations. It is also an illusion. Yet time rules your life on a daily basis. You worry that you don’t have enough time, and you wait for the perfect time to do what you long to. But the truth is that there is no real time except right now.
The present moment is all that’s real. Presence is where the power of love resides. In fact, presence is love, but you might distract yourself from being in the moment because you feel vulnerable. Yet vulnerability is how you reap the benefits of your human experience.
Practice being completely present at least once a day. This is where you will find a direct connection to your soul. Sit with yourself in this joyful place—it is right here! Feel the full power of being present.
It is vital that you get increasingly comfortable with presence because, as we’ll explore, this is how you’re going to bring bliss into your life permanently!
When it comes to time, look at anything you want that you are putting off for another day and figure out how to do that thing now, even if it’s just a plan. Nothing is more important than getting started, and this is the surest way to break through your Limitations. Understand that you are a perfect being of love, and you are perfect enough to do what you want at this very moment. No excuses.
Create any opportunity you can to be free from the clock and the calendar. Make at least a few hours sacred each day, and honor plenty of free time on the weekends. Get out in nature without any electronic devices. The more you make free-time a priority in your life, the more you will truly enjoy yourself.
- How do you feel when you practice being present?
- Can you practice being present every day and make it a priority?
- Assert spontaneity.
Fear is the motivating force behind every one of your Limitations—the fear of not being loved. This fear is a form of control that is integral to your human conditioning. It keeps you Feeling Unworthy and seeps into everything that you experience.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have been taught to fear everything—life, those around you, and your very self. This means that you cannot trust the world. You cannot even trust yourself to take care of your own needs! Worst of all, you have been trained to fear that you won’t be accepted unless you stay conditioned.
What’s a human to do?! Face your fears head on so that you can bust them wide open and stop the control they have over you. Look at what you’re truly afraid of in life. What are the fears beneath your fears?
For example, let’s say that you fear being a failure. Underneath this is the fear that you won’t be loved or supported if you fail to meet certain criteria. But the truth is that you are eternally loved and supported in the universe all the time, no matter what. You never have to earn love or approval. You were told this to keep you limited, but it’s just not true—so try new things out and fail until you get them right. Do things just for you! You are completely capable of making your life what you uniquely want it to be. Remember, you’ve been made afraid of your own power on purpose.
When it comes to fear, please understand that you’ve also been raised to fear death, yet you are an eternal being who can never actually die. This life is just a temporary experience—where you come from is far more real! You are immortal and powerful which makes it ridiculous to be at the mercy of death.
Fear often manifests as worry. You might worry about things that you shouldn’t even be responsible for, but there are always greater survival fears underneath these worries. For example, you might fear that your loved ones won’t be safe or that you won’t have the resources you need to live on. Yet it’s important to understand that worrying about anything makes it far worse than it actually is. The solution is trust. Trust the universe and trust yourself. This frees you from fear’s control. Then you stop attracting negativity and lack. You stop giving your energy to things you aren’t in charge of.
How else can you release fear? By getting back to love—the love that you’ve been taught to fear. Love is your most powerful capability to overcome anything. It can be quite an adjustment to regain your power, but don’t delay!
God-speed, amazing soul.
- What are some of your fears? List them.
- Can you picture your life without these fears? What would it feel like to be completely free of them?
- What are some things you could try to do and risk failing at? Can you feel how liberating this could be for you?
- Assert total trust in the universe that I am taken care of, no matter what.
Judgment pervades human society. Just consider the number of reality competition shows on TV. In fact, judgment is so ingrained in our culture that we invite it into our homes as entertainment. But judgment is simply our conditioning in action.
Judgment hides many unhealthy Limitations, including Shame, Ego Competition, Impossible Standards, and Blame. We judge others to make ourselves feel better temporarily, but the real truth is that we’ve been conditioned to judge each other so that we don’t look at the bigger picture. We remain locked in a power struggle and don’t see how much we’re being controlled by our human conditioning. It’s a clever form of manipulation.
Judgment is the number one block that keeps you stuck in your conditioning. When you remove judgment, you reclaim your total freedom.
The tricky part is that you might not realize how much you participate in judgment. You might judge yourself severely inside without even realizing it. You might judge everything that you experience throughout your day without seeing this too. Why? Because you’ve been trained to adhere to your conditioning.
You’ve been taught to love only conditionally and to not stray away from this. Subconsciously, you actually believe that judgment is the right thing to do. That is why moral judgment is one of your most challenging Limitations.
Feeling that you are morally right and others are morally wrong limits everything that you experience. It creates a superior smugness that divides you from others. Judgment puts your competitive ego and your limiting mind in charge instead of your limitless heart.
Most of all, judgment takes your natural state of trust away, but when you stop judging, you can trust again. You stop participating with those who love conditionally, and you open your world to those aligned with the unlimited.
But how the heck do you stop judging people? Look inside you. Look at how you judge other people and recognize that this is actually how you judge yourself.
Judgment is always self-judgment in disguise, otherwise it wouldn’t bother you so much. Anything that you judge another for is something you fear is latent in you—something you wouldn’t accept yourself for. It is a reflected criticism of yourself and a freedom you are secretly jealous of. When you judge, you are policing your world from the inside out.
This can be hard to see at first, so look closely. Here’s what you will find—you actually fear that others won’t love you if you display the same quality you’re judging in someone else. Maybe you’ve worked hard to mask this quality in yourself. Perhaps you’ve even publicly gone against it! How dare another flaunt it liberally?! Maybe you just don’t like this quality and don’t want to allow it in yourself. Any way you slice it, you are restricting acceptance. You are fighting something instead of letting it go and allowing it to just be.
In essence, judgment reveals how you control and limit your own love—the love and acceptance that you give yourself. But you can end your brutal conditioning. How? Every time you find yourself wanting to judge another, stop and go within. Be bravely honest and ask yourself, “Am I resentful that I had to fight against this same quality? Or, am I jealous that someone else is allowed to be this free?” Ask if you can accept yourself, shadows and all, and therefore everyone. This is how you stop limiting love. This is how you find the freedom to stop judging yourself, thus giving this freedom to everyone.
Judgment is such a pivotal Limitation that we’ll be exploring it further in this section.
- How do you judge others? List the ways.
- How do you judge yourself? List these too. Let these answers help you to address your deepest conditioning.
- Can you accept yourself completely, no matter what you’ve experienced in your life? The universe does, wholeheartedly.
- Assert acceptance of all, starting with myself.
Lack of Money
Lack is not natural, but as humans we’ve been trained to live with lack in many ways. A prime example is that we’ve been taught to feel a lack of love when there is infinite love to go around. We’ve also been restricted from being the abundant creators we naturally are, because yes humans are very powerful creators. We can create anything but we’ve been conditioned to be limited.
The fact is that there is no reason why every human being shouldn’t have more than enough of everything to live well beyond their dreams—no reason except that we’ve been purposefully limited so that we remain controllable. This keeps us fighting each other. The earth’s resources have been restricted too, even though the earth is naturally abundant. We have all been force-fed an unnatural and pervading sense of lack. This corruption runs deep and is systematic.
Our money supply on this planet has been constricted, when everyone could easily have plenty of money, many times over. Indeed, money has been one of our greatest Limitations, even though abundance is our natural state. But I have amazing news! Lack of money will soon be an irrelevant issue on the planet! Stay tuned…
Start now by removing your restrictive beliefs about money while also making sure to take care of yourself financially. Taking care of yourself financially is one of the best ways to respect yourself. But now, you are starting over with a clean slate of beliefs, so anything that used to keep you stuck financially no longer applies. Just let it go and know that the sky’s the limit!
Envision an earth where every human being easily has everything they need to thrive. Believe in this vision and help to make it so! Believe that you yourself are abundant with every fiber of your being, consciously and subconsciously. Believe that you deserve to have everything you truly want. You do! Trust yourself to be the masterful creator you already are.
Once you remove your Limitations around money, you will be an unlimited artist of life—who you’ve always been at heart!
- Can you imagine that your life provides everything you truly desire?
- Can you see money as a way to support everyone rather than a way to restrict yourself?
- What does it feel like to let money flow abundantly in your life without any lack?
- Assert my total freedom.
- Assert my complete capacity to create anything.
- Trust the natural abundance of the universe.
We’ve all been conditioned to answer to authority. We’ve been trained to let authority control us. In fact, we actually trust authority over ourselves. We check with those in charge to see if we are good enough. We strive to please them and ask for their approval.
Authority uses every form of control available: bullying, moral superiority, physical force, and guilt to ensure that we conform. It even uses promising concepts like patriotism to get us to kill others and ourselves. Violence is encouraged, as long as it’s pre-approved. The military entices people to join in this approved violence by paying for living and education expenses. They promise to relieve you of one of your greatest Limitations—Lack of Money.
But what’s most scary is that authoritative control is mimicked up and down human society. Those who are controlled try to control others. Sometimes this escalates into violence, which is an extreme reaction to being controlled. Violence originates from lack and not being responsibly in charge of ourselves.
All humans are grappling with control, and this control is so unlike our natural power of love. It is solely about how much we can overpower other people. This is where abuse comes from.
Those who like to be in authority get a sense of satisfaction from controlling others. In extreme cases, they become perpetrators. Those who are used to being controlled get comfortable with the situation. They start to identify with being powerless, and they become passengers in life. In extreme cases, they become victims.
The most surprising part is that the passenger/victim often clings to the perks of being controlled. The passenger realizes that if someone else is in charge, they don’t have any responsibility. They can just tune out and ride along, without worrying about the bigger picture. They can numb themselves with distractions, such as entertainment, material things, food, alcohol, and drugs. The passenger has lost their power and they’ve learned to like it that way. This is what happens in an authoritative society where people are ignorant of their own worth.
Delving deeper, the passenger and controller both suffer from a lack of Self-Love. The passenger tries to get love externally by calling attention to themselves, often in negative ways. The controller acts aggressively to get love at another’s expense. The solution is of course Self-Love, which authority has taken away.
Authority keeps you ignorant of your own love. You are taught to distrust yourself. This is the cause of your discord. You are told that you can’t be trusted to know what is acceptable, so you look to others to make sure you’re doing everything ok. You limit yourself in order to be accepted.
You have been trained to relinquish your power to those who control you. You have been told that you are incapable and that you have questionable merit. Authority has spun these lies in order to keep you conditioned. You have been deceived, as have we all.
As you know, you are a benevolent and compassionate being who is extremely capable. You are the only one who can tell yourself if you are good enough, based on how you feel inside. You don’t need to ask permission from anyone in order to do what you really want. You don’t need to ask permission for love.
The solution is to start trusting yourself. Trust your inherent loving nature and your ability to be in charge. Strengthen your Self-Love.
Become independent from authority as much as you possibly can. Do not waste your precious energy on bureaucracy, except for the bare minimum required to remain free. Protect your life and make it what you authentically want it to be, not what others tell you it should look like.
- Do you feel trapped in any way in your life? Do you feel you aren’t free to live the life you truly want or do the things you really want to?
- If so, can you take one step today that allows you to live for yourself first and foremost? What could that step be, and how would it feel having made it?
- Assert my own power.
- Don’t let anyone control me.
Reward and Punishment
Humans control each other through reward and punishment. We threaten people with positive and negative consequences so that they will stay in line. We do this because we’ve been programmed to reward and punish since we were children. We believe that humans are not trustworthy and must be managed.
Judgment underlies this. From the time that we are born, we are taught to judge. We are trained to see the world in black and white. We begin to categorize what we experience as either positive or negative. So we start to condemn some people as bad and lionize others as good. We start to believe in winners and losers, but these are simply judgments.
The truth is that nothing is good or bad in our benevolent universe. It just is. All judgment is an illusion, but acceptance is real. It is the Unconditional Love that creation is made of.
But we’ve been conditioned against all-accepting love. That is why we tend to label everything that we see with judgment. Yet labeling anything limits it completely.
Positive judgment boxes people in just as much as negative. It asks the person being lionized to exclusively carry positive qualities, when that is impossible for any human. Both “positive” and “negative” qualities get distorted through judgment, and this imbalance can get downright barbaric. Just like the movies, when someone is made the bad guy, they tend to be overly punished. Violence and killing are made to appear acceptable, even desirable. We might even cheer along because we’ve been conditioned against ourselves and all the many qualities we contain.
If we all felt solid with love in ourselves, we wouldn’t feel the need to judge anyone. We wouldn’t be afraid to hide anything in ourselves.
Delving further, judgment perpetuates something I like to call Love Debt. We feel that people owe us when they don’t live up to our expectations. We measure just how much they are falling short, and we start accruing debt against them. We do this because we aren’t getting the love we want from them, when we should be giving that love to ourselves.
Thinking that people owe us is the cornerstone of Conditional Love. Debt becomes amassed against each other. Love becomes conditional upon being paid back. Eventually, Love Debt bankrupts us.
This gets to the very root of what Conditional Love means. And the solution is to stop playing the Love Debt game, which we’ll address thoroughly in Section Five. The answer is to stop trying to even up your score, which only prolongs your own disharmony.
You have to remember that you are completely loved in our bright universe, and that being critical of anyone is ludicrous. There is no need to judge anyone because we are all spiritually perfect right now. When you replace your critical eye with the lens of love, you see this instantly.
Decide for yourself to stop making your love conditional. Start giving yourself the love that you expect from others. See how this changes everything for you.
- Do you feel that you have to earn being accepted?
- If so, can you accept yourself, human mistakes and all?
- Can you accept others too?
- Assert love generously without conditions.
Guilt and Shame
Guilt and shame are forms of control that corrupt the public and private image we have of ourselves. Guilt and shame come from being conditioned that we are worthless and that we need to make up for this.
Guilt and shame haunt us at the deepest levels—so deep it can seem impossible to heal them. Thankfully, it is not.
Guilt is often used passive-aggressively. Guilt is a desperate cry for love from those who aren’t very powerful in themselves. People who use guilt against us are too afraid to ask for what they want in a healthy, assertive way. Most of all, they don’t want us to say no, and they will do anything to control us. We are then guilted into doing things that we don’t really want to because we don’t have enough self-esteem to say no.
Another way that we experience guilt is when a loved one dies unexpectedly. We might feel that there must have been something we could have done to prevent this death, and we Blame ourselves. The lesson is always to accept that death is a natural part of life and to let others experience what they came here to, on their own terms. You can honor this person most by cherishing your time on earth. You can see how precious life is and how it lives on in every person you meet. And, it is extremely comforting to know that death is not the end. Life after death is more real and permanent than what we temporarily experience here as humans! The bigger picture is so lovingly big, it is impossible to fathom.
Guilt often coincides with shame. Shame goes even deeper than guilt. It condemns who we are as human beings.
I want to take this moment to ask you to please never shame your beautiful self! Take responsibility head-on for your actions, and do something loving about them if you need to. If you feel that you have really hurt someone, and you feel ashamed about it, you are being asked to forgive yourself. The best way you can honor this person is to own your actions and apologize sincerely, then take the lesson to heart by forgiving yourself. Remember, we are all playing roles to help each other heal our deepest and most painful Limitations.
Shame is the deepest form of control. It is used to severely control others through condemnation, sometimes the entire female race! Honestly, there is nothing worse than condemning another person. When this happens, love has been shut off entirely. The person doing the shaming feels such a lack of love in themselves that they try to make another feel how they do. That way, they aren’t alone in self-condemnation.
This is where abuse begins, whether physical, verbal, or emotional. Abuse is a repeated put-down that is painfully tolerated.
If you are tolerating abuse, you are being limited severely. Please hear my plea and break yourself free! Do this right now. Freedom is what your soul wants for you, and any pattern of abuse is entrapment of the darkest order. You don’t have to put up with abuse for any reason, no excuses. Nothing is worth you being put down, and no one should ever have power over you.
Remember, Unconditional Love does not tolerate abuse. It recognizes abuse for what it is and walks away.
Ultimately, shame and guilt teach us something crucial about healing—that Unconditional Love does not require sacrifice. Loving people unconditionally does not mean tolerating negative treatment. Unconditional Love always honors everyone, including you. When you are strong with love, you are powerful enough to lovingly walk away from anything that harms you. By doing so, you inspire others to stop harming themselves.
It’s important to understand that shame is all about hypocrisy. People who shame you are hiding a deep, judgmental secret about themselves. Either they are ashamed of the very behavior you are bravely exhibiting because you have the courage to live more openly and honestly, or they are simply projecting their own shame onto you—an easy target. Shame is the ultimate form of judgment and reflects the person doing the shaming. Shame is also deeply tied with keeping women down, something I have personally experienced countless times, painfully so.
When you start to release guilt and shame, a lot of anger usually comes out. This is from allowing yourself to be controlled in the past. The anger serves a purpose. It helps to remove the chains that used to bind you. Afterwards, you learn to be in charge of yourself and to never be controlled by guilt and shame again. You return to Unconditional Love.
- Do you feel guilty or ashamed about anything in your life? Can you associate these feelings with your human conditioning? Can you begin to release your human conditioning so that you no longer feel guilty or ashamed?
- Are you being put down by someone in any way? Are you tolerating this? What would it feel like to be free of this abuse? What one action could you take today to free yourself?
- Assert my incredible worth.
- Honor myself always.
- Assert command of my being and my life.
- Forgive myself.
- Free myself.
Passive-aggression is an indirect form of control used by those who are insecure. They want something but are too afraid to come right out and ask for it, because they don’t feel worthy enough to have it. So they come up with a subtle way to get what they want, often by putting down the person they want something from.
Passive-Aggression is a form of manipulation that comes from feeling victimized in the past. What the victim wants more than anything is empathy for what they have been through. They also desperately want to be in change of their world, and they are trying to prove that they deserve this.
Considering how powerless we have all been, passive-aggression is very understandable. The solution is Self-Love. This brings glorious independence. Self-Love leads us to be healthfully assertive. We provide worth and empathy for ourselves instead of manipulating others for them.
- Can you recognize any ways that you are passive-aggressive? If so, can you think of healthier ways to ask for what you want?
- Do you feel that you deserve what you want? Can you love yourself enough to feel worthy? Can you give yourself the empathy that you crave from others?
- Assert my needs openly.
When we are overprotective of others, we limit them. We also limit ourselves. When we are overly protective of ourselves, we become isolated from life.
Over-protection is a failure to trust. Of course, it’s understandable to desire protection to a healthy degree, but if it’s done out of Fear and worry, we close our hearts. We stunt our ability to love. What is being asked is to regain trust in the universe. And please know, beautiful soul, that you are already divinely protected!
- Do you feel that you can trust the universe? Do you feel that you can trust yourself?
- What would a life lived in complete trust look like? How would it feel?
- Assert trust.
Parents have the staggering job of raising a human being. Even with the best of intentions, parents pass down Limitations because they’ve been conditioned too.
You were raised to live a certain way. In fact, you’re probably still ruled by your upbringing more than you realize—especially when you visit family and become a child all over again! But your upbringing highlights the key issues you want to heal in this lifetime. When you pinpoint these issues, you begin to free yourself.
Your parents tend to portray your own Limitations in a more exaggerated way. In fact, you’ve been reflecting these same Limitations back to each other over the years so that you can heal them.
As you bravely initiate this healing, it’s vital to build a life that is uniquely yours. Allow yourself the possibility to flourish in ways your parents may have limited you. You can certainly be inspired by any experiences you loved in your childhood, but make sure they ring true for you now.
- Can you identify any ways that you feel trapped by how you were raised?
- Do you repeat any discordant patterns from your childhood in your life?
- If so, can you embrace your own unique style of doing things and create a life that reflects this? How could you start doing this today?
- Assert my unique life.
The Rat Race
We’ve all been made to Fear that we won’t have enough money unless, and even if we work for someone else doing something that we don’t really want to do. This rat race runs up and down the ladder. Even rich people fear a Lack of Money. They spend all their energy protecting what they have acquired which they fear will disappear at any moment.
The solution is to start doing what you want to do with your life, one passionate step at a time. Keep your old job if you have to, just until you can provide for yourself with true purpose. These evolutionary times completely support this. With creativity, you can now get out of the rat race. Hallelujah!
- What do you long to do with your life? Can you do something today to start?
- How would it feel to live with total fulfillment and joy? Do you feel you deserve this, or do you feel that you must make sacrifices in order to have this? Can you love yourself enough to do what you really want for yourself?
- Assert my most passionate purpose!
Many traditional institutions, such as schools, organized religions, and governments perpetuate human conditioning. How can you tell if your institution is doing this? Do they share all of their information freely, and is this information trustworthy? Or do they try to keep you in the dark? How do you feel when you’re at this institution? Do you feel free and supported? Or, do you feel insecure and anxious to prove your worth? How do they treat women versus men? Institutions exert a lot of power once you join them. It’s up to you to choose those you want to support.
Organized religions can bind you with especially disturbing Limitations. They can create authoritative structures that replace your inherent connection to GodSource. Organized religions can mask your natural spirituality and ask you to beg for it back. This is how they control you. And that control reaches the deepest, most intimate levels of your person.
Freeing yourself from such organized religion can feel impossible, but that is how courageous you are! Please, if you feel constricted by your religion, take charge of your life and free yourself from it. You alone get to decide what you believe about yourself and no one can tell you otherwise.
Keep in mind that many organized religions distort and misuse heavenly figures for their own agenda. You can still keep your personal relationship with these figures and make this connection even more authentic for yourself if you leave your religion.
- Do you feel completely accepted for who you really are by any institutions that you’re involved in? Do you feel that you’re allowed to be your authentic self? If not, can you take steps to free yourself today?
- Assert my power to choose the groups I want to belong to.
Society reinforces conditioning in our communities so that we remain conditioned. We are subliminally pressured to conform. On a daily basis, we experience a communal police force made up of conditioned neighbors, co-workers, family, and even friends, all of whom keep us stuck in Limitation—albeit unknowingly.
Indeed, it’s absolutely frightening how society ostracizes those who don’t follow the rules of conformity. That is why freeing yourself from your own community can feel daunting. But if you are reading this book then you’ve probably already challenged the system before! You know what is called for—bravery and not caring what anyone thinks.
Strive to fit in with yourself instead of society. Live for yourself first, before anyone else, then come from that place of authenticity and find like-minded people.
Disengage from social behavior that reinforces communal policing, including gossip of any form. Have you noticed that talking about people when they’re not there doesn’t feel right, even if you’re saying positive things? When you withdraw your support of communal policing and put it elsewhere, you help to change the world.
- Do you feel policed by your own community? If so, in what ways?
- How can you free yourself from this policing? Can you do so without caring what others think? Can you love yourself that much?
- Assert my freedom to live my own way.
Negative Collective Beliefs
We are taught collective beliefs that keep us restricted. One of these is that we must make sacrifices in order to have what we want. Another is that tragedy is a necessary part of life and is always possible.
Mainstream news constantly reinforces these beliefs and manipulates us with Fear. It programs us to dramatically limit our expectations of the life we want for ourselves.
It goes without saying, don’t watch mainstream television! You have the power to break out of negative programming and solidify your own positive beliefs. You can create your own reality freely, from a place of total love. It starts with you, amazing one. And remember, you deserve the moon and the stars!
- Do you feel that having what you want requires sacrifice? Can you love yourself enough to have what you want without sacrifice?
- How can you detach more and more from mainstream media?
- Assert discernment.
The solution to every one of the Limitations you’ve just read is Unconditional Love. When you give yourself the love that you’ve been denied, you stop restricting what you experience. You find the courage to break out of your human conditioning, and you are free to be your authentic self. From there, you can create whatever you want through the infinite power of love.
Once again, it becomes clear—the reason for humanity’s many problems is that we haven’t been trusted to be the beneficent beings we actually are. Restore that trust and the human experience transforms. This is what you are here to help accomplish.
Now, beautiful soul, let’s look at how your conditioning exhibits itself when you interact with others. Let’s look at your relationships.
Conditioning plays out in your relationships, often painfully, because while your relationships reflect your infinite potential for love, they also reflect your Limitations. In fact, they show them to you regularly.
Here’s how it works:
You begin to interact with someone close to you, when suddenly you start to feel hurt. You start to feel put down, just like you did in adolescence. And it stings painfully. So you quickly defend yourself and vocalize how the other person is making you feel. You feel “cheated and humiliated.” Here you are actually articulating specific aspects of a Limitation: Feeling Unworthy. This limitation has been put on display so that you can finally see it.
This is what relationships do for you. They act out all of your Limitations—all of your deficits of love. Ultimately, your relationships push you to love unconditionally because they won’t be harmonious until you do.
Conditional Love makes relationships inharmonious. Suppressing love causes every argument that you experience. But when you withhold love from another for any reason, you are only hurting yourself. You are entering into Love Debt, which sabotages you.
Delving deeper, your relationships display the conditional relationship that you have with yourself. They mirror where you are inside and play out your deepest emotional pain. This can feel downright unbearable, until you remember that you don’t have to fight to be loved. You already are loved—infinitely. You simply forgot this because of your human conditioning.
When you face the pain from your relationships, you face the pain in yourself.
So how do you consciously do this?
When you interact with someone and you begin to feel emotional pain, focus on yourself instead of the other person. As soon as you feel pain, tell the other person that you need time to yourself and peacefully walk away. No further words are needed. Then look at the pain in yourself that you feel from your situation and process it. In the next section, I will take you through specific healing steps to help you do this.
When you take responsibility for your pain instead of thrusting it upon another, you free yourself. You take charge of your healing instead of blaming the reflection on another. You also let the other person figure out their pain too. You see, their stuff is not yours, something that can easily get confused. When you let the other person go while you process, space is made for mutual healing.
All Relationships Teach You Immensely
Your relationships push you to heal. They teach you immensely. This often involves a life-long plan.
Let’s look at an example.
Let’s say that you are born into a family with an overbearing parent. You are raised under your parent’s strict control, and you endure their criticisms and insults. This makes you fear that you are not loved. It makes you fully feel your human conditioning. You feel as though you are always doing something wrong and that you’ll never be able to prove your worth. But what you want more than anything in the world is to make your parent proud.
Inevitably, you feel low self-esteem. You develop defensive behavior. In fact, you are perpetually trying to prove your worth, and this follows you into adulthood. You seem to be always questioning your value in the world.
Now at some point, you have a mid-life crisis. And during this time of great questioning, you learn to find your own worth inside. You realize that you can believe in yourself, even if your parent doesn’t seem to. You begin to assert your true value. You stop fearing that you are not loved.
At this time of great awakening, you see that others actually believe in you and that they’ve been trying to show you this all your life. You just didn’t believe them because you didn’t fully value yourself. But now, you are healing your human conditioning.
Finally, you break through your childhood pain, and you begin to create an environment that honors you. As you do this, you’re able to actually forgive your parent and free yourself from the past. In fact, from your new perspective you can see how your parent hid their own human vulnerabilities behind their overbearing nature. You recognize your parent’s pain as much as your own. You see their own human conditioning.
As you come to this realization, you feel the fullness of self-worth. You also feel compassion—both for yourself and for your parent. You actually feel compassion for the one who put you down and hurt you. You embody compassion fully.
This is what your parent has ultimately given you—self-worth and compassion. And this is what you both planned to experience in this life. It’s just one example of how we grow through the medium of relationships in this instructive human world.
That is how brave you are, dear friend. You are courageously growing with others as you gain invaluable experience. You are an eternal being undergoing lifetimes on earth so that you can learn more about love, or more precisely, what love is not. This learning experience can certainly feel like suffering, but underneath, spiritual meaning abounds. That is why you chose to come here. That is why you are enduring your lessons with your loved ones. You are here to experience revelations of love.
And this brings up a crucial point. Your human conditioning can make it easy for you to feel like a “bad” person because you are suffering. I mean, if you’re suffering, it’s because you deserve to be punished, right? But this lie is something that conditioning upholds, especially in organized religions, and if you take your human lessons to heart, your suffering has immense meaning to your soul. It isn’t a form of punishment at all.
As you grow through your lessons and your human relationships, keep in mind that many of your relationships aren’t meant to last your entire life. As you grow, you will reach different levels of awareness, and it’s important that your relationships reflect where you are. Have the courage to change your relationships if they don’t resonate any more so that you can keep growing. Otherwise, if you remain in a relationship that no longer resonates with you, you will endure a lot of limitation in order to stay there. In fact, you may become so stuck in justifying why you’re staying in a relationship that you sabotage yourself for the rest of your life!
It’s imperative to understand that no one has to be “bad” for a relationship to end. It’s easy to blame each other for ending human bonds, which can make things very painful, but there are always core wounds being addressed. As we’ll explore in the next section, these wounds come from the human experience of exerting power over others, something that occurs often in relationships, but this dynamic can heal through the pristine, Unconditional Love.
Thankfully, the human experience as you’ve known it is only temporary. Within that temporary experience, your soul intended for you to grow with many people through many relationships. You see, as you grow brighter and brighter with love, you attract brighter and more awakened souls. But keep in mind that you also attract teachers and “testers,” sometimes in the form of negative people. These people push you to set boundaries with them and to establish your empowerment. They prod you to own your stuff but not to be accountable for theirs, and to walk away from anything toxic.
That is why it’s crucial to learn to be discerning with others. Pay attention to how people make you feel, which can be very different from what they say. If you feel unusually nervous or defensive around anyone, you are picking up on their energy. Avoid such people and anyone who brings you down—just stop responding to them! When they don’t get a reaction from you, they will have to work their own issues out themselves or find someone else to test.
Sometimes we really do have to let some key bonds go. You see, people who haven’t grown to love themselves will continue to ask you to be a reflection of their unworthiness. They will do this by treating you disrespectfully, often when you least expect it. Why? Because these people want you to treat them disrespectfully back! That is why they bait you—to get you to treat them how they feel inside.
Family members bait you the most because you interact with them often, and in private settings—all throughout the stages of your life. That is why you must keep a respectful distance from negative family members and simply stay away from them. Do not engage with negative relatives, no matter how hopeful or positive you may feel in the moment. Be respectfully distant from all toxic personalities, and work out any related healing that arises in you, but do not explain or defend your need for distance, otherwise you will get drawn into unnecessary drama.
Doing this can be very hard for spiritually aware people such as yourself. You see, spiritually aware people are highly empathetic. We love to try to understand people because we have been so misunderstood. That is why we “Empaths” are very appealing to those playing the blame game—those who don’t realize that they create their own reality. Such blamers can pour their hearts out to Empaths and get the sympathy they crave, and not have to do a thing about their reality. What’s more, once you have deeply empathized with someone, their wounded ego can pull you into a place where you are vulnerable to be attacked. So, you have to not engage in the first place.
Instead, practice feeling detached compassion. Feel the highest compassion for those who’ve been disrespectful to you by envisioning the bigger spiritual picture. Then withdraw your energy from them completely. Envision that you are getting back all the energy and effort you’ve given to anyone who hasn’t related to you with total respect. Then don’t give them any more of your energy. See how this practice makes you feel more whole and solid in yourself. If you want to, you can always keep the possibility open to rebuild any relationships with mutual respect, but for now make a clean cut.
Don’t sit around stewing over how horrible people have been to you in the past and how wounded this has made you feel. Doing so simply feeds into your old, disrespectful relationships. It also creates suffering which can lead to addictive behavior that numbs you from that suffering. So instead, set a permanent boundary that insists upon total and mutual respect in all of your interactions with others, most especially your relationship with yourself. Every human being deserves this.
It is so important to spend time with those you truly feel good around and to attract new relationships as you grow. Seek people who are actively striving to become whole and joyful instead of those who aren’t interested in freeing themselves from limitation. Be with people who support and inspire you to shine stronger each day. Such friends are out there waiting to meet you.
It’s encouraging to know that you already have eternally loving relationships at the soul level with many of the people in your life, as well as those you’ve never met down here. In truth, there is so much love between souls, even those who challenge you the most on earth! In fact, challenging family members are your greatest teachers. They actually love you enough at the soul level to help you dramatically grow with discernment. They are pushing you to overcome your limitations, which is what we all came here to do.
We are all teaching each other to become empowered and free in the most difficult environment imaginable, but this human experience is only temporary, and we will carry its wisdom forever.
Now, dear friend, let’s look at one of the most common ways that conditioning manifests in human relationships. Let’s address the imbalance of Co-Dependency.
Being Co-Dependent means relying on a partner to an unhealthy degree. Most romantic relationships end up becoming Co-Dependent because of human conditioning. Unhealthy paradigms are tolerated because both partners don’t feel worthy of being independent and fully valued.
It starts innocently enough. Each partner has certain talents that they bring to the relationship. The partners take turns providing these talents for each other. But very soon, each partner gets comfortable allowing the other to do more and more for them, to the point where they both become too dependent on the other. They both tolerate the imbalance because they don’t feel worthy of being individually empowered. They use each other.
The arrangement becomes unhealthy. Each partner looks to the other to provide what they should be doing for themselves. Dependency sets in and becomes excessive. Sometimes, abusive behavior is accommodated. This abuse is tolerated because of a payback.
Ultimately, Co-Dependency divides partners from each other, dramatically. The gap widens with each toleration. But we aren’t supposed to give up our freedom so that another can do the same. We aren’t supposed to tolerate unhealthiness in order to be loved.
We don’t have to cling to each other in survival mode when we can have so much more! The solution is total, unconditional freedom for both partners.
What does that mean for you, amazing friend? You must become independent enough to not compromise your precious well-being at any time, nor anyone else’s. But that doesn’t mean shutting yourself off from love—far from it. You can actually accept the highest love from another because you love yourself fully. You honor yourself and can give and receive equally.
Balance lets love pour through and heals that which was disharmonious. In fact, healing Co-Dependency makes one stronger with love than ever before. But it’s important to understand another crucial element of co-dependency, and that is the relationship between the sexes. Let’s explore that right now.
Beautiful soul, the relationship between women and men on this planet has been imbalanced for a very long time. This affects all of our lives directly. But we are so accustomed to this imbalance that we don’t do much about it. We often overlook the fact that men are in authoritative control and women answer to them.
In fact, women and men play out the ultimate passenger/victim and controller/perpetrator relationship. This is a pivotal part of our conditioning that keeps love conditional. And this imbalance of the sexes hurts men as much as women. It harms all of us immensely. We have all lost our inherent connection to Unconditional Love, and this is painfully obvious between the sexes.
It’s important to understand that each human being contains both feminine and masculine attributes. We are simply born with one dominating. Sometimes it’s not the one we look like. That is why the imbalance of the sexes affects each and every one of us, intimately. In fact, we tend to shame the feminine side within us and promote the masculine side.
Sexual imbalance has hurt humans across the ages, both internally and externally. The feminine side in us has felt that we have to constantly prove our worth. This deep sense of unworthiness strives to overcompensate. The feminine side over-gives often to be met with neglect or abuse. And there is a profound reason for this.
Women hold within them the very power of creation. They create children, and this is a unique power that threatens those in charge—the masculine who cannot do the same. Thus women have been subjugated as creators.
Being shamed led women to stop creating consciously. They followed the creations that others made instead. Women answered to those in charge—no matter their agenda, which included prostitution and rape. Women allowed men to have power over them. The sacred wisdom of women became hidden, fearful of being exposed, and we are still paying the consequences. We are half dead, longing to unite our lost feminine side. We yearn to become whole again.
Oh bright friend, the human experience is a journey back to wholeness, never more so than by balancing and uniting the sexes. This begins with you and how you treat all the parts of yourself inside. It also means becoming acutely aware of the external imbalance in society so that you don’t unconsciously participate in it.
Awareness frees you from your conditioning, and it’s crucial to be aware that women are severely restricted in most cultures. They are trained to obey a patriarchal society. Women are programmed to stay within strict bounds or be outcast socially. This oppression keeps all of us limited. It locks us in a power struggle with our very selves.
We may think that Western society is more advanced in this regard, but sexism still abounds. It is just more subtle. Sexism permeates the collective like an unhealed subconscious belief. In order to heal it, we have to see it first.
Take appearance, for example. Women are judged by appearance first and intrinsic value later. Men are regarded with far less superficial judgment. This infiltrates every level of our culture in every profession. How women appear factors largely in how we value them. They are judged more favorably if they are perceived as attractive in just the right way.
Another example can be found in dating rituals—and it’s a classic. Many women want men to open the door for them on a date. They also want men to pay for dinner. These women feel that such gestures honor them, but these gestures actually render the female helpless. She usually pays in some way later, of her own volition, by giving up more of her power. We are trained to do so. Fairy tales that support dating rituals are part of our conditioning.
Most men aren’t even aware that the sexes are still very imbalanced. They are raised to turn a blind eye and enjoy the perks, at all of our expense. The truth is that women have served men for a very long time, but thankfully that is finally changing. New role models for men are now emerging—also known as the Divine Masculine. Men are standing up for women more and more. This is glorious to witness.
Humanity is evolving rapidly. Spiritual awakening is uniting all of us inside and reflecting this out into the world. Signs are everywhere that the sexes are being rebalanced. Women—the Divine Feminine—are leading this revolution. They are lighting the path out of humanity’s abusive past by breaking down convention.
This is beginning at home. Mothers, wives, and daughters are standing up for themselves and are no longer catering to men. These women are putting themselves in charge of their own lives instead. They are igniting change across the planet and are serving as role models. This is freeing men too. They are no longer conditioned by a patriarchal system.
Best of all, as humanity emerges from its conditioning and embraces Unconditional Love, we are naturally beginning to embody the highest and most divine expression of the sexes. The newly balanced sexes work in perfect harmony with each other. They bring their respective strengths in a sweet exchange of give and receive. Neither takes too much or asks for something in return. Both are deeply respected.
With the new sexes, there is no Love Debt. There is no reason for anyone to feel slighted or want to take advantage of the other. Each sex honors the other always.
The new sexes work together. Indeed, they are in essence one and the same. A date for the new sexes might include dinner cooked together with ingredients that they both bring to the table. Neither has to prove their worth or assert their place in the relationship. Both feel fulfilled in themselves and safe together. They fully embody Unconditional Love.
This balance is so different from the difficulties that arise in traditional partnerships. And if we can understand those difficulties further, they can be healed. That’s just what we’re going to do next, dear friend, by addressing the most traditional partnership of all—marriage.
Marriage is a lovely idea that seems to work for a lot of people, especially when children are involved. Marriage is intended to be a sacred agreement between two partners that solidifies and declares their bond of love. It sets couples up to expand and start a family. How romantic can you get? Right?
Marriage can be exquisite, precious, and so very sacred, but things get tricky when you look at the restrictions most marriages uphold. Although the dream is for partners to be able to grow with each other over time—something that is possible, how can anyone predict how years and decades affect a human being? What if one spouse grows dramatically and the other does not? Do they both stay with someone they no longer resonate with?
What if partners no longer understand each other, and therefore cannot emotionally support each other? What if they don’t even speak the same language any more? And what if there is Co-Dependency? Are these partners bound, regardless, for life?
In all honesty, if such partners are to stay together, they have to lie to themselves.
Sometimes marriage asks us to do the impossible and to pretend this is completely fine. But the fact is that marriage always gets challenged when partners grow at different paces. Marriage is a primary relationship, and it reflects where both partners join together. If, over time, these partners become very different, there is no place left for them to merge. The relationship has no common ground. It has already naturally ended, but the partners have forced each other to stay together.
But that’s not all, dear friend. The restrictions tolerated in marriage are reinforced by society and the legal system. These restrictions can be extremely difficult to change. For example, getting married is a really easy process. It can be done in little time for little money. Getting divorced is another matter entirely. It is lengthy, painful, expensive, and seemingly impossible. In some countries, actually so. Talk about conditional.
Just take a look at wedding vows. Traditional wedding vows can seem extremely touching, but they are also extremely controlling. They express fearful, conditional love, not only now, but for the rest of your life—until death to be precise. It is important to understand that all vows are energetically powerful, and most of them solidify conditioning. Remember that traditionally, marriage vows actually asked the bride to obey the groom.
Traditional marriage is not love that is free, trusting, and unconditional. It is not love that allows each partner to thrive. Yet most people probably think that marriage is about Unconditional Love.
Traditional marriage can be a great example of how promising, Unconditional Love becomes conditional. Marriage can demonstrate how we choose to squash freedom and remain captive out of fear. We fear change, and so we grasp onto predictable security—often motivated by financial survival. Thus we remain stagnant together.
Both women and men can feel trapped in marriage and become afraid to do anything about it. The conditioning starts early. In most countries, women and men are raised to want marriage. Women are shown that it will make them feel safe and even legitimate. They are encouraged to marry at a young age while they’re still “desirable,” before they know what they want for themselves.
It’s no secret that women are pressured to look successful by marrying—up and down society. In fact, many women are shamed into marriage. Men are pressured into marriage too, but they are still accepted if they don’t choose it.
This cycle gets passed down to young people who may not know what they’re getting into. In fact, brides and grooms usually participate in wedding rituals and remain completely unaware of their meaning. Wedding ceremonies are peppered with patriarchal traditions—yes, even in the Western world. If you do a quick web-search on sexist wedding customs, you will find chauvinistic origins for nearly every wedding tradition you’ve heard of. But most people are taught to buy the fantasy and overlook them. It’s just another way the imbalance of the sexes is perpetuated. Just like human conditioning.
When we look at the history of marriage, we start to see just how antiquated it is. In the past, women were actually considered property by law. They moved from their father’s keep to their husband’s. This thinking still exists, even in “advanced” cultures. In fact, I experienced shades of it myself in my first marriage, although neither myself nor my ex-husband were aware of it. I didn’t see my conditioning until I woke up spiritually.
When I woke up, I saw that romantic love isn’t supposed to be conditional, nor is it supposed to be a life-sentence. Romantic love isn’t meant to restrict us so that we never grow—even if we love our partner deeply, and even if the past was so beautiful! Our partner isn’t supposed to be a roommate who sleeps in another room and helps to sustain our bank account—no matter how nice that partner is. We don’t have to feel obligated to remain in a paradigm that’s stale just because it seems safe or expected. Our souls want us to thrive, not merely survive.
So although devotion in relationships can be very beautiful, change is the nature of life. If change is resisted, then souls are trapped. Freedom is what’s called for.
So many couples are not free. So many look at marriage as a game to be won or lost. They become trapped by years accrued together, pushing away the freedom to change. In the end, anniversary milestones are poor consolation, for what can console never having lived freely? Stagnation muffles the soul’s song.
We must have the courage to live freely in our relationships, most especially our primary partnership. We must have the courage to set each other free if we cannot grow together any more. That is what Unconditional Love means. We are not supposed to own other people or make them feel guilty for wanting their inherent freedom. We must challenge all the ways that we were taught to restrict ourselves and each other when we didn’t know that we deserve better.
Oh dear friend, your romantic partnership is meant to be the most important relationship in your life, should you choose to have one. Your partnership is meant to ignite your passions, inspire you deeply, and stir your soul. Your romantic partner should be your best friend of all time and your most exciting lover—someone who supports you affectionately and unconditionally, not out of duty but desire.
I speak from experience. When my second husband and I married so that our home countries couldn’t keep us apart, we wrote our own wedding vows, and we made them completely unconditional. We held a unique ceremony for two that sang with freedom and felt more sacred than I can express. Here is a sample of the vows that we spoke:
“I love you unconditionally. I accept you exactly as you are right now on this day. You are always free, and I am always free. I forever honor your deep joy in life.”
As humanity returns to higher consciousness, it is increasingly clear that the only commitment our souls want to make is to love each other unconditionally. Sometimes, it can take radical, personal change to enact this in your life. In fact, sometimes you have to be hit over the head to see just how much freedom you’ve been missing. As do those around you. The process tends to be dramatic, especially when a revolution of love is at hand.
Change can feel utterly devastating. Here you are going about your life—the one that you work hard to maintain, when suddenly the rug gets pulled out from under your feet. You lose your job, your home, or your belongings. Your partner leaves you, or you are overcome with illness. A precious loved one dies.
At times like these, it can seem like the world is heartless. Life-shattering change can feel incredibly cruel. So why does it happen? What is the reason for this kind of turmoil, and what can you do about it?
Major change is always helping you to break free from your conditioning and get back to your own love. You see, when your life is shaken up dramatically, everything that you know gets turned upside down. You cannot cling to your old Limitations which allows you to release them overnight.
Suddenly, Limitations don’t matter because nothing seems to any more. You become your only real source of comfort, which makes you get back to your true nature—love. When you have nothing to hold onto but yourself, you are pushed to look for the love inside you. You actually have a fighting chance of finding this love because your Limitations are no longer blocking you.
Major change occurs so that you wake up to who you really are—an immensely powerful spiritual being. Every challenge that you have ever known has been trying to show you this. Every negative thing that you have ever experienced in your life has been trying to teach you to be more empowered in yourself.
Hindsight is invaluable. Everyone I know who has been through disastrous change, including myself, agrees on one thing: looking back, years later, we are actually grateful for our most devastating experiences. For all of us, it is obvious that major change brought an urgency to live true to ourselves even though it felt debilitating at the time. Change woke us up when we had been asleep. It stopped us from being set in our ways and helped us to grow exponentially.
Sometimes it takes crisis to finally leap for what you want—to stick your neck out and ask for more. When life gets ridiculously dramatic, there is nothing left to lose, so you might as well finally go for your dreams.
But thankfully, you don’t have to wait for devastating change to get yourself back. You can do this now by consciously removing your Limitations.
Let’s do that right now, brave soul!
Let’s Get to Work
As humanity evolves, all of your Limitations are going to get more and more obvious so that you can see them and let them go. As we’ve explored, recognizing your Limitations is the first powerful step that you can take to free yourself. Simply being conscious of your Limitations starts to remove them.
The next crucial step is to believe that you can free yourself from your Limitations. If you feel that freeing yourself is not possible, then it won’t be. But when you shift your beliefs toward the certainty of healing, you shift your experience; as your internal beliefs change, the outer reflects that change. So when you believe that you can remove your Limitations—even just the possibility to start with, you won’t sabotage your healing efforts. And you will continue to grow your beliefs as you progress.
Look at your Notes
If you’ve personally delved into your Limitations and made notes, let’s take a look at them. What are the Limitations that struck a chord in you?
You’ve probably become aware of some things that have been holding you back in your life—things you may have thought were actually beneficial to you, such as obligations or ways to prove yourself. You may have found that some of the things you used to think were important are now obsolete. You may have discovered that some of your former preoccupations don’t matter as much as they used to. That’s fantastic. You are returning to your authentic self.
Here’s how to speed up the process.
Take a look at the answers you made to your Freeing Questions. Reflect upon each of these answers and ask yourself what this Limitation has taught you. Write down what you have learned. The Active Assertions will guide you to determine your lessons at hand.
For example, let’s say that you identify with stress. You ask yourself what you are most stressed about, and you realize it’s making sure that your children are doing everything that they’re supposed to be doing. While examining this Limitation, you pinpoint that you’ve taken on way too much for your children—far beyond basic safety issues. You need to let your children take more responsibility for themselves and allow yourself to be healthy and stress-free. You realize that you can set a better example for your children by being stress-free. What’s more, letting them do more for themselves will empower them and help them to grow up.
Here are some more general examples:
If you identified with unworthiness, you’ve found that you restrict yourself because you don’t feel valuable enough. This Limitation has taught you to feel worthy through Self-Love and to be more free.
If you identified that you answer to authority before yourself, this Limitation has taught you to answer to yourself first in everything that you do, and to free yourself from authority.
If you identified that you tend to judge people, you now know that when you stop judging others, you stop judging yourself. You can vow to recognize judgment in yourself and stop participating in it.
It all comes down to how you treat yourself. That is the key to removing your Limitations. And that is why Self-Love is essential to your process.
Limitations begin and end with you. That is the power you have to remove them. When you realize that the person you’re really harming with your Limitations is you, then why are you adhering to them any way?
Repeat after me—Limitations only hurt you. They only benefit those who’ve been trying to control you. There are no rewards in heaven for following the rules of conditioning.
Once you are free from your conditioning, you no longer have to feel worry and stress over what others expect of you. You no longer have to feel guilty or obligated, or soured by a sudden thought. You no longer have to sabotage yourself. Doesn’t that sound amazing?!!
Let’s keep going.
As you write down what you’ve learned from your Limitations, also write down the Active Assertions that apply. These are actions that you can take to counteract your conditioning. Take a moment to see how you can integrate these assertions into your life.
Acting assertively works far better than verbal affirmations. Repeating statements doesn’t heal the subconscious beliefs that have been supporting your Limitations. But, acting helps you to actually retrain yourself to behave counter to your conditioning. It reinforces the brave work that you are doing to heal your negative beliefs.
So as you look at your notes, take a moment to write down a specific step that you can take to overcome each Limitation. Be as detailed as you can, and make each action something that you can do now, as soon as possible, realistically.
For example, if you identify with the Limitation of being Self-Absorbed, make a lunch date with a friend and devote the entire time to listening to them. Really try to see the world from their perspective, without relating it to you or taking responsibility for that perspective, and just forget about yourself for an hour or two. Enjoy being together. Keep making new, tangible steps every day that actively free you from this limitation.
Repeat this process every time you feel limited. Simply become aware of your Limitation and believe that you can overcome it. Then take a moment to write down how this Limitation directly affects you. Ask yourself what this Limitation has taught you. Then act out a specific step that is counter to it. With practice, you will form entire new habits that support your freedom.
I urge you to try this. It is life-changing. By facing what wants to change and taking action to do so, you will change your life!
You may also come up with specific Limitations that aren’t in this book. If there’s something you haven’t done with your life that you’ve always wanted to, take a moment to look at the “Excuses” you wrote down earlier in Section Three. Ask yourself what other specific ways you may be hiding from or putting off your dreams. You may find that some of your limits are trying to protect you, so ask yourself, “How can I do this thing I’ve always wanted to do AND honor myself and my needs completely?” Then design a game plan to get started. As you overcome each specific limit, you will do wonders for your soul and start to make your own dreams come true!
Overcoming your Limitations allows you to finally leap for your dreams. In fact, this is required to enact them! Each time you overcome a Limitation, you will increase your sense of freedom. Before you know it, you will open yourself up to limitless possibilities. Because let me tell you something—anything is possible. Anything. That’s right. If you feel that something isn’t possible, that’s just another Limitation! And thankfully, beautiful soul, all of your Limitations can be overcome.
Bravely Face Your Pain
Now for the hard part. As you remove your Limitations, you will begin to trigger some very deep emotional pain. This pain comes from all the ways you have denied yourself love in the past. Once you stop denying yourself love, you are free from this pain forever.
Your healing process works like this:
As your heart opens up with more love, that love begins to increasingly flood into your being. But so does all the emotional pain from your past. Knowing this is extremely helpful for your healing process. You see, every time you felt hurt in your life in the past, that emotional pain was stored in your heart. Now, as your heart opens back up, this pain is coming out. Your emotional pain is emerging so that it can be healed.
Your job is to face this pain so that you can heal it. Otherwise, your pain will remain with you. It will come out when things upset you, putting you in a reactive state. In short, your pain will sabotage you when you least want it to.
But as we’ll go over in detail, moments of sabotage can be utilized to your benefit. What’s more, there is a simple secret to healing your emotional pain:
Simply learn the lesson that your pain is trying to teach you. That is how you heal it. When you consciously take the lesson to heart, you release your pain for good.
The startling truth is that you chose painful lessons for your life that involved being put down so that you would grow forever stronger in yourself. That is why healing pain doesn’t mean simply removing it. Rather, you must grasp the lesson that the pain is teaching you and integrate it into your life. This is what your soul wants for you.
So fully feel your pain, and then identify and appreciate its lesson, which is always about loving yourself more. Your pain can then be dislodged from your body, and you can consciously release it. You no longer need this pain to teach you.
Now facing your pain takes courage, but that is something you have in spades! You are already so courageous to be living your human life. And you have everything you need to heal completely.
Your pain will try to show itself to you in your most challenging day-to-day moments, which can feel frustrating and even ruthless, but seize these opportunities! Take advantage of moments when you are reacting to your pain. Use these opportunities to free yourself.
Here are specific steps to help you end the cycle:
You can address your pain any time, but especially in moments when you’ve been triggered by a situation or interaction with someone. If you feel sudden emotional pain in a situation, excuse yourself and find a private place, such as a bathroom or outside in nature. Then delve fully into your emotional pain by yourself.
Now, alone by yourself, bravely face everything that you are feeling head on. Be completely vulnerable with yourself—be raw and honest. Look at what is crying out to be loved inside you. Acknowledge fears that arise.
Push through the pain fully. You are dislodging feelings from your being so that they can teach you. Express your emotions fully to yourself as they come—tears, sadness, anger and all.
Ask yourself what your painful feelings are trying to show you. For example, if you feel very hurt by a family member, this pain is always teaching you to give more love to yourself instead of expecting it from another. Every pain is always related to this.
Ultimately, you will find that your pain is also linked to feelings of betrayal and abandonment. You see, we all come from Home—a place of purest love, and we feel betrayed and abandoned to feel so alone and separated from that love down here. What’s more, our human conditioning betrayed us which led us to abandon ourselves. We allowed ourselves to be taken advantage of because we did not feel worthy. As brutal as it seems, we were cheated from our own love. This is why infidelity can hurt so much.
Betrayal and abandonment play our painfully in relationships. That is why people hurt us in life. They fear we will abandon and betray them. We, in turn, feel abandoned and betrayed when people hurt us. This pain reflects the abandonment and betrayal that we feel inside so that we can finally address these core wounds and heal them.
The human experience brings incessant challenges that reinforce these wounds. That is why we can easily feel forsaken. But, the human experience also offers countless opportunities to heal these wounds too. This healing underlies all of the pain that you are processing.
As you proceed to fully feel your pain, continue to figure out exactly what it is teaching you. Ask yourself three questions:
1. What am I feeling exactly?
2. When have I felt this feeling before?
3. What is the specific Limitation associated with this pain?
Articulate the personal lesson that is arising, and do so specifically. Why have you felt this Limitation, and what has it taught you about yourself? Fully grasp what you are learning for yourself. Take all the time you need until you hit upon a revelation.
Let this revelation soak in. Say it out loud and express it fully to yourself. Feel any anger that arises and safely express it out loud. Anger is a very natural reaction to being conditioned, so let it out and let it go. Anger allows you to move powerfully away from the past and push yourself forward. So go where your healing revelation leads you until you feel a sense of release and change.
Now ask yourself this question:
How do I treat myself with this same Limitation inside?
At this point, you’ll most likely experience what I like to call a full healing moment. Express yourself completely as you do. Let your tears turn into the knowing smile of a life-changing revelation.
Now, ask yourself:
How can I make sure that I never treat myself with this Limitation ever again or tolerate it from anyone else?
Process this fully.
Once you are on the other side of your full healing moment, you are ready to let go of the pain. It is no longer yours and has served its purpose.
If you can locate where the pain is in your body, great! If not, just keep feeling your revelation and intentionally let your pain go. Breathe deeply and exhale the pain from your body. Keep breathing the pain out. Do this several times and keep going until you physically feel the pain leave.
Then, actually thank the pain for teaching you. Feel a sense of mastery in this and bless the experience.
Now fill the space where pain used to be with love. Say, “I love myself unconditionally and forever.” Accept yourself in totality with all the love in the universe. State out loud, “I am LOVE.”
This entire process can be repeated as often as necessary, whenever pain resurfaces. As you practice feeling your pain instead of burying it, you will be able to let pain go more easily and quickly. You will learn to be accepting and masterful of your emotions instead of allowing them to control you. And you will do far more than this.
By facing your pain, you are accomplishing something profound. You are healing all the fractured parts of yourself that have felt unloved. You are facing every last divide in yourself and becoming whole again. This means that you are no longer against yourself inside and can love your beautiful being unconditionally. You are no longer separated from the LOVE of GodSource.
As you process your pain, be sure to empathize with yourself completely for enduring your human experience. Forgive yourself for being put down in the past. Resolve to give yourself more love from now on, and feel gratitude for what you have learned.
And again, in time, you will actually deeply value your painful experiences—hard to believe, but true! In fact, you would endure them all over again to learn so much so quickly for your soul.
Let’s look at a specific example. Let’s say that it’s the Holidays, and the family member who always upsets you is at it again. You thought you’d evaded this person this year, but they just came up to you before dinner and spoke words that seemed condescending and just plain mean. In fact, this person commented on a very personal issue of yours right in front of everyone. This family member seems to hate you though you’ve done nothing wrong. All of a sudden you feel very hurt. Yet again.
You excuse yourself before saying anything to this family member, and you head to the bathroom. There, after a few deep breaths, you look into the mirror, still shaking. You ask yourself, “Why is this person so mean to me? What exactly am I feeling? When have I felt this way before?”
The answer to the latter question is countless times, all throughout your life. You recognize this feeling from when you were picked on in Middle School. You recognize it from your first job, when a colleague was continually condescending to you. In fact, this feeling arose when your sibling sometimes treated you as a lesser human being, and now you are feeling it again with this person. Every freakin’ Holiday.
You pinpoint the feeling further. It feels like you are being treated as inferior and challenged to get out your ego. You are being baited to compete. You are being challenged to defend yourself and your worth over things that are very personal.
But you hate competing. It’s just not in your nature. Competition feels downright barbaric to you, and you’ve always hated participating in it. It feels soul-destroying to have to prove yourself when you know there is no reason to.
The specific Limitations you’ve just identified are Ego Competition coupled with Unworthiness. And as you identify these, you begin to see all the ways you’ve allowed yourself to be baited into competition in the past, when that’s not what you ever wanted. Because competition is asserting power over others, and the loving Home you come from doesn’t play that game. Ever. And you won’t participate in cave-man tactics any more. You will be true to your soul. You will experience LOVE.
You are healing. You are dissolving your sense of unworthiness, and you will never let anyone make you feel this way again. You will be true to your own nature, no matter what, from now on.
This is when you realize that your family member has been putting you down in order to pump themselves up—because they feel unworthy. Competition is how they survive without Unconditional Love. Winning their own competition is how they feel good enough to wake up in the morning and show their face at a family gathering. It’s how they treat themselves inside.
This family member acts against others because they are against themselves. And as you realize this, you actually feel compassion toward this person. You stand in their shoes and understand them completely.
And in that moment of Unconditional Love, you let all feelings of injustice go. You are free from any hold this family member has over you. And in your heart, you actually thank them for teaching you this invaluable lesson. What’s more, deep down, you know that both of your souls contracted ahead of time to experience all of this so that you would both overcome feelings of unworthiness.
Then, as you soak in this revelation, you get extra brave and you take a look inside. You ask yourself, “Do I ever bait myself to compete inside? Do I treat myself as inferior in my head?” The revelatory answer is yes, and you take the lesson to heart.
You are angry that you’ve treated yourself as inferior in the past, and you will never do it again. You then use your anger to change for the better forever. You won’t ever defend your obvious worth to anyone, including yourself, nor will you become negatively influenced by others. You will no longer be affected by those who are asleep to love—those who love to compete!
In fact, you will be impervious to ego games entirely, because now you are playing by your own rules—joyful and unlimited acceptance! And you don’t feel wounded any more. You are fully worthy of infinite love.
What a newfound sense of wholeness and integrity. You are becoming so much stronger with LOVE.
What a revelation.
So many of life’s painful lessons are about becoming impervious to others who try to overpower you. And the truth is that you have to be impervious to “nice” people too and what they want for you, or want from you, if that’s not what you want for yourself. Because human conditioning gets us to try to control each other; it insists that we judge each other and keep each other limited—often without even knowing it. That is power-over-others. But when you learn to be impervious, you break out of your conditioning!
What a breakthrough back to LOVE.
Becoming impervious to outside influence is imperative during these Ascension times. You see, everyone around you is going to be dealing with their deepest pain, and you don’t want to become a punching bag for their issues. You don’t want others to keep you from flourishing, so light the way for yourself and let others complete their own healing. Remember, only they can heal themselves from the inside out. If you get in the way, their healing will be postponed.
No Sugar-Coating Your Process
Healing pain is not easy—far from it. It usually takes many rounds of processing over time. You may even experience a “Dark Night of the Soul.” This term means to reach a very heavy place of internal suffering where you question everything you have ever believed. I know because I once had so many Dark Nights that I lost count! But a Dark Night helps you to detach from your limiting beliefs—the ones that navigated the world of Conditional Love.
If you experience a Dark Night, which is highly likely during these Ascension times, you will have to summon blind faith in yourself. You will have nothing and no one to cling to. You may feel forsaken and abandoned down here in this loveless human place. You may feel anger that your soul betrayed you by making you endure this degree of suffering. But you will have to face this anguish head on and then leap into unknown territory. Thankfully, your soul knows exactly where you are going—the land of infinite love.
At some point after your Dark Nights, you will realize that you don’t have to suffer ever again and that it is in your hands to decide this. When you end your anguish inside, you will end the human struggle that you experience.
This process is one of letting go, but you can hold onto yourself. By holding onto yourself, I mean literally give yourself a hug whenever you need one. You have infinite reservoirs of love inside to support you. They were simply blocked before.
Always remember, gorgeous friend, loving yourself is how you heal that which hurts so badly.
As you heal, it is very common to replay your life stories of pain and get re-immersed in drama, but this perpetuates pain instead of releasing it. You will have to write a new story—one where you see the point of what you have been through. Write your new story down on paper and keep it close by. Do this right now! Refer to your new and true story in moments of doubt—in moments when you see how very hard the things you’ve endured are and how unfair that feels.
Everything that you go through is preparing you to heal. There are always valuable lessons to be gained from what you experience. When you realize the tremendous value in what you have endured, it no longer seems meaningless and futile. It gleams with lessons of unconditional acceptance. That acceptance finally frees you.
When you embody Unconditional Love, nothing can hurt you again. That is all the motivation you need to embrace Unconditional Love. But in order to be completely free, you’re going to have to forgive all Love Debt too.
Let’s keep going.
Forgive All Love Debt
When you begin to face the pain you have acquired, you will also face the task of forgiveness. You will see that in order to forgive others for the pain that you are feeling, you have to forgive yourself. Remember, dear friend, that pain started within you. It started when you were conditioned to deny yourself love.
Of course, self-forgiveness can be extremely challenging, especially if you have been really hurt. And at the heart of this challenge is the desire for others to understand you. You want everyone to see just how much pain you have experienced, often at their hands, and how unfair that is. And you don’t want to give this key desire up.
But the injustice that you feel, beautiful soul, originates from Conditional Love, something which corrupted all of us—including yourself. So your need to be understood and vindicated has to come from you. You must feel total and complete ownership of your pain, without external blame. You must give yourself your own empathy and not expect it from others. Accountability is how healing works.
You see, if you wait for empathy from others, you will be waiting for a very long time. If you wait for the right apology from someone, you will be waiting forever. And if you are unable to forgive others for your grievances, you will trap yourself in Conditional Love.
Notice that I say “your” grievances. These are your issues, which also means that you have the power to heal them!!!
A blessing in disguise.
How exactly? By canceling all Love Debt in yourself.
As we’ve learned, Love Debt occurs when people haven’t met your expectations. You measure just how much they are falling short, and you start building up debt against them. But the truth is that you have been asking others for what you should be giving yourself. What aren’t you giving yourself? Total, Unconditional LOVE.
You are putting yourself into Love Debt. And this Love Debt arises from both large grievances and small slights. The large ones blindside you. The small ones eat away at you and build up over time.
Let’s look at a simple example:
Perhaps you feel that you’ve done a lot for a particular loved one, and you hope they really appreciate it. But this person acts as though they are doing you a favor! They keep imposing on you.
In such a case, you might feel that this person owes you and that some day you’ll be rewarded for all your good deeds. But guess what? You’ve acquired Love Debt that they can never repay. You are the only one who can pay it.
You see, you were seeking worth by doing something for someone else, and the deficit began with you. You wanted to be regarded as wonderful and to accrue gold stars, but you are already wonderful and giving is not about payback. The lesson is to value yourself from the start, without expecting anything from another—without requiring Conditional Love. You have to cancel this debt and make sure that you aren’t compromising yourself. You also have to make sure you aren’t restricting your loved one’s ability to lean on themselves.
Thinking that people owe you is the cornerstone of Conditional Love. Debt becomes amassed against another. Love becomes completely conditional upon being paid back. Love Debt arises when you feel that people owe you for your own deficits, which is why canceling Love Debt is up to you. That is why playing the game of Conditional Love is actually a civil war, thus you have the ability to end it.
Here’s a simple step to help you to end your Love Debt. In fact, this step is so simple, it’s ridiculous!
Just cancel all the Love Debt you have ever accrued in your life, and do this right now! That’s right. Just waive all the Love Debt you have accumulated with others at this moment.
Told you it was easy (wink, wink.)
But seriously, beautiful soul, Unconditional Love is easy. It is way easier than restricting love at every turn. Remember, Unconditional Love is your most natural reaction. Compassion, empathy, and generosity of love are your most instinctual traits. You were simply programmed against them.
It is far easier to be your naturally loving self than to expend incredible energy suppressing love, when you could simply let it come pouring through! Just unblock the dam with one wave of your hand. Forgive all and get back your true self.
Why not? Why wait to cancel your Love Debt? Why wait to return to yourself? Do it now. You are the one who benefits immediately.
You can use images to help you cancel your Love Debt. Picture a bill in the mail that shows you how much is owed, and instantly pay the total amount. Picture a deficit on a bank statement, and instantly reset the number to zero. Think of a pile of debt in any shape or form that works best for you, and wave a magic wand that makes it disappear—poof! It’s gone. As is your Love Debt.
Doesn’t that feel freeing!
You have an unlimited, abundant bank account of love to pay every debt you’ve ever accrued many times over. So pay your debt now and get it out of your life!
Remember, you are what matters most, not a pile of debt. So put yourself first and cancel it. Love Debt has no value to you—it is a deficit! So move that debt to zero and free yourself instantly.
There is a powerful phrase that can help you to do this. When you feel Love Debt arising, simply say to yourself, “Who cares?” Just shrug off your debt with these two simple words, ”Who cares?” Feel how freeing this response is.
The truth is that you are the only one who truly and completely cares about your pain, so prove this to yourself. Prove that you really care deeply about your well-being and free yourself from your own suffering in an instant.
And any time that you feel a problem arising, simply say, “Who cares?”, and feel that problem dissipate.
“Yes, but they really hurt me!”
“Yes, but I hate that this happened!!!”
“Yes, but I’m afraid that this or that might happen now!”
Shrug away the buts and the excuses that are keeping you from a harmonious life. Let them fall to the floor as you rise to a higher place. Put yourself “above it all,” literally. That’s what Ascension is all about. So Ascend far above negativity so that it is beneath you and you are completely out of reach. Rise to who you really are—an immensely powerful being of infinite LOVE whom Love Debt can never touch!
Know that you are entirely capable of healing your Love Debt completely. In fact, you were born into this specific life to heal all of your debt for good!
Now of course, canceling Love Debt requires that you cancel the inadequacies that you feel within your human self—the inadequacies that resulted from your conditioning. You want to take a brave look into your hidden pain about yourself and heal it head on. You want to waive all of your self-judgment and unworthiness—but how exactly? By following the previous chapter we just went through, Bravely Face Your Pain, this time only addressing the pain that you feel from yourself.
Simply take the process of addressing the pain that you feel when someone else has hurt you, and this time go straight to applying that process to your relationship with yourself. Begin with a slight that you feel from your own self-treatment, and go through the healing steps to resolve it. Proceed by cancelling any remaining Love Debt inside and repeat all steps as needed.
This process is crucial to freeing yourself from Conditional Love, so don’t skip it! In fact, take this moment right now to think of one self-inflicted wound and walk through the steps to heal it. For example, let’s say that you deflect compliments from others by verbally putting yourself down. Look at how and why you do this—Feeling Unworthy. Face this Limitation and feel the pain that it brings. Locate the lesson you are being shown—to receive from others. Now take this lesson to heart. Let the pain of Unworthiness go and replace that space with Unconditional Love for yourself. Moving forward, allow yourself to begin receiving compliments wholeheartedly. Respond with a simple, “Thank you.”
This healing process always involves changing your behavior so that you treat yourself with the utmost respect in every situation.
If you suddenly feel judged or maligned by someone, or if you feel judged by yourself, just waive that debt in your mind. Cancel the debt in all of your relationships, especially the one with yourself. Let that debt go in an instant. Be all-forgiving with love instead of being “right,” and feel how free you can be. Remember, Love Is Free, as are you.
And cancel your Love Debt generously—just cancel it all that debt in one fell swoop. Give LOVE to everything that feels even remotely like a problem, and watch your problems melt away. The more that you can do this, the more you will shift towards Unconditional Love. In fact, the bigger the deficit you can cancel, the more LOVE you end up with! The heavier your hurt was to begin with, the lighter you become. So go big, and don’t ever stop! Give love freely, and in that giving free yourself.
Remember, people are never going be able to pay you back for your own Love Debt anyway. It is yours from start to finish. But these people did help you to learn invaluable lessons about love. So if others have hurt you, use that hurt to pole-vault yourself into higher consciousness! Turn your painful experiences into something that benefits you forever—eternal, Unconditional Love. Forgive all and lift yourself to new heights.
The truth is that all human suffering is a kind of brutal misunderstanding. The only thing that has ever been “wrong” with any of us is that we were limited from being who we really are. We have all been walking around with wounded egos, trying our best to survive. When you stop penalizing others for this suffering, you start to finally understand them. You start to finally understand yourself.
Acceptance allows you to let go of blaming others for your Love Debt. Of course, it’s understandably easy to get paralyzed by what others have done to you, especially when no purpose for such cruelty seems apparent. But acceptance means that you recognize with full compassion that all of us came here to heal our debt for great purpose—to overcome limitation until we embody its opposite: unlimited and all-accepting LOVE. Again we have simply been helping each other to do this through our painful experiences.
Here’s a trick that can help you with acceptance. In fact, this trick worked miracles for me. It personally helped me to forgive my Love Debt around two key relationships that had been with me for decades.
These two relationships became fractured when I grew spiritually in my life, at a dramatic and rapid pace. Within a few short years, I completely outgrew these closest relationships. Yet, I always hoped I would meet these people in mutual understanding on the other side of change. In fact, I assumed they wanted healing and progress forward in our relationships with the same zealous optimism that I did. They did not. That is what I was able to finally see and accept. That is the trick that I discovered, and it finally freed me of my Love Debt.
When I felt the full acceptance that these people’s desires were entirely different from my own, it cancelled my Love Debt on the spot. You see, these two people wanted to keep the dynamic we had known—especially in its fractured state. In realizing this, I was able to let rosy expectations go. I was able to let these beautiful people go from what I wanted from them and accept their perspective instead. I could finally give them what they wanted and simply heal on my own, and not need anything in return. My love was no longer conditional.
With this understanding, my healing was instantaneous. What’s more, I stopped interfering in the healing process these dear people were going through themselves. And I was able to love them as I hadn’t done before.
Healing Love Debt means ending the fight over what we think people should want and simply accepting people as they are, and letting the chips fall where they may. This is true surrender of control, and once we let go in this way—once we feel a full sense of loss, then FREEDOM, then PEACE, we open ourselves up to receive LOVE.
Surrendering to acceptance also allows us to receive our wildest dreams. Case in point, last month, I surrendered all control over one gigantic and painfully unattainable dream. I let it go completely and even threw out all the papers related to it. A few days later, I received a call that made my dream come true—my children got into their dream school!
When you surrender all expectations, you stop making your love conditional. When you just accept things as they are, you give yourself what you were expecting from others, and everything changes in your reality. Love is no longer restricted. The feeling of freedom this brings is enormous.
You can increase this feeling by simply saying, “I love you” to yourself, with full acceptance. Say this to yourself often and feel it towards everyone and everything. Whisper “I love you” as you go about your day, and every time you are confronted with irritation. Let love melt what feels so frustrating and replace that feeling with bliss.
Simply love everyone—this time unconditionally. You are ONE with everyone anyway. You are the oneness of creation, so the gift of Unconditional Love that you give to others is the same gift that you give to yourself.
And this love allows people to bloom right before your eyes. In fact, every human imperfection makes you love others all the more, because when you accept everyone exactly as they are, their spiritual purity becomes obvious. Indeed, it seems ludicrous that you never saw it before! You had been so conditioned to limit everything. You had been trapped in Conditional Love, but now everyone can be their true spiritual selves again. You can be your true self, and you are gorgeous beyond words.
Welcome back to yourself. Welcome back to all-accepting love and its spectacular perspective—the most glorious view that exists where you love freely and easily soar beyond being hurt. Replace the relentless past with the most generous awareness imaginable—LOVE at full capacity. LOVE that is ultimate joy!!!
You have been longing for this all your life.
Change Your Life
So now that you’re removing your conditioning, what comes next? What can you expect?
Change on a major scale.
Indeed, breaking down your conditioning will create dramatic changes in your life. Everything that you know may get turned upside down, but for profound reasons. You are rebuilding your world with the newfound freedom of total LOVE.
You see, your life always reflects where you are inside, and once you remove your conditioning, your world transforms along with you. You may change your home or your job, even if they’re considered great by conventional standards. You may change where you live or whom you hang out with. You may even change your primary romantic relationship, if you have one, even if you’ve been with someone for a very long time.
This creates a new challenge—one that also helps you to become free. You have to assert what you want for yourself, even if those around you don’t like it. You have to rescue yourself from your conditioning without any tangible help, and most likely with resistance. But rescuing yourself by yourself makes you stronger than you ever dreamed.
Now when you change your life dramatically, those around you may have a hard time understanding why you want to venture forward, especially if you are leaving them behind. They may question why you are breaking down everything you have known before, because it is very hard for those who are immersed in conditioning to understand true freedom until they are ready to free themselves. And for you, bright soul, it is almost impossible to slumber in ignorance again.
That is why those of us who return to love are often called foolish. We tend to receive a barrage of concern from those still trapped in Conditional Love. Because those immersed in conditioning are afraid to see their own limits. They are afraid to see you become free because they are not free themselves.
Rebelling against the status quo makes people who settled for it nervous. In fact, most people lead an ignorant campaign to keep love controllable and manageable. Indeed, Conditional Love is so imbedded in people that they blindly fight for its cause. They think that this is the safest thing to do.
But what conditioned people are really doing is keeping love at arm’s length from themselves—because infinite love is terrifying to anyone who doesn’t feel worthy of it. All-accepting love is simply inconceivable to those who are unaware of their human conditioning.
And so, those trapped in conditioning uphold the familiar at all costs. You see, to them, change appears dangerous and delusional. This means that as you change your life, you may get called destructive, reckless, and crazy. But labeling anything this way is a control tactic. By insulting your rationality, conditioned people are trying to make you think twice about stepping outside of convention. It’s just another way that we police each other in this world.
When I made my own dramatic changes in my life, I was called reckless more times than I can count. My loved ones judged me severely for overturning the way I had previously lived. But thankfully, this judgment helped me to heal my own need to judge myself.
When everyone judged me, they helped me to address my deepest limitations. They mirrored my inner patterns of self-deprecation so that I could face them head on. In time, I learned to heal how I was against myself inside. After that, I started sending out a clear signal that I trust my own abilities, and therefore so can everyone else. I stopped letting people have influence and control over me, and I set healthier boundaries. I learned to become unaffected by others and to live from my own solid place of integrity. I led by example and am now inspiring everyone who judged me to free themselves.
Most people are afraid of pain and change, understandably. They cannot see why you’d want to face pain head on and embrace change courageously. They cannot see that this affords you freedom from your human conditioning!
Another thing that I learned was discretion, something which I highly recommend for your process. If your family and friends are giving you hell for changing your life, then stop sharing the details of your journey. Your growth is no-one’s business but your own. You don’t have to divulge what is most sacred to you and most challenging to those who cannot understand it. Sharing with them will only hold you back, so go solo and lead the way. Others will follow when their time comes.
So as you break free from your conditioning, do not ask for approval or permission from anyone. You never need anyone to tell you if you can follow your heart or make you feel bad for doing so. That kind of drama will only drag you back into conditioning. Lead the way instead!
As you progress, you will find that removing your conditioning creates a very personal revolution that affects everyone around you for the better. No doubt about it, you will encourage those who are still doing as they’re told to start living true to themselves. You will literally pave the way for everyone else’s freedom.
Although change can overturn your life temporarily, that is what spiritual transformation looks like. You see, step by step, you are being reborn right before your eyes. You are claiming your rightful freedom, which feels so incredibly sweet and so long overdue.
Freedom is what you are fighting for in your brave revolution of love. You are fighting to love unconditionally, as you so completely deserve. For remember, beloved soul, Unconditional Love is who you really are.
You Are Free
Once upon a time, you were immersed in limitation, but now you are rescuing yourself. Such is the spiritual way. You plod along in the dark until you spot a sublime shaft of light. With curiosity, you follow that light, and it leads to a whole new world—the world of ever-gorgeous love.
By following your own light, you have shed the rules of survival. You have broken free from your cocoon and you are emerging brand new. As you unfold your wings, nothing can stop you from taking off. You have transformed and are ready to fly, unhindered.
Taking flight, you feel how immensely supported you are by your loving universe. You are full to the brim with love and positively bursting with excitement! Looking down from above, your old world of conditioning looks so small and insignificant. You are never going back there again. You are leaving it far behind because where you are going, there are no limits. And finally, you are free.
You are completely and utterly free in your being and in every aspect of your life. You are free of judgment and criticism, free of obligation and distraction—free to do what makes your heart sing, just for you. What an awe-inspiring liberation you have made possible. Get used to it, beloved one. Get ready to keep amazing yourself.
As you test your new wings, you can perform the following meditation to refresh your sense of freedom. You can record this simple and easy meditation on your phone in your own powerful voice. Take your time to create a slow recording pace, and listen to your recording whenever you feel like it.
- Start by getting into a comfortable position, lying down on your back in a quiet and private place.
- Now close your eyes.
- Take four deep breaths and begin to relax.
- Now focus on releasing any tension from your body.
- Pinpoint any tension and visualize it flowing away from you.
- Exhale as you release this tension. Continue to visualize it leaving your body.
- Remove all remaining stress and send it away.
- Exhale as many times as needed until every last bit of stress leaves you.
- Feel a lightness in your being.
- There is nothing weighing you down. You have nothing to worry about and no concerns.
- You are utterly and completely free of all obligation. You don’t owe anyone a single thing, most of all yourself.
- There is nothing to do at this moment but to be completely free and present.
- Feel totally free. Feel it from your head to your toes.
- You have no attachments.
- Everything is a clean slate.
- Say out loud in your powerful voice: “I am free, I am free, I am free.”
- Bask in your total sense of freedom. Stay with this feeling as long as you like.
End this meditation with thankfulness.
Consciously Embody Unconditional Love
Now I want you to go back to the beginning of the book and reread the first few pages. Do this right now, beautiful soul, and see how far you have come.
How do you feel reading these loving, opening words now that you’ve opened your heart so much? Can you feel yourself opening yet wider with LOVE?
Put your hand on your heart just like you did earlier in the book, and feel your love at full capacity. Feel the powerful love within you. Close your eyes and turn your focus to this power.
Take your time feeling the powerful love in your heart, and let it radiate with increasing strength. Expand this love further and further, until it brings a warm glow and a smile to your face. Let this love fill your entire being and then expand far beyond that! Let this love positively thrill you until you feel a sense of your real Home!
Love is your real Home. Love is where you belong. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, what you seek has been here all along.
Feel how completely loved you are and how much you truly belong. Feel how perfect and special you are, and how much you embody love.
Feel how blissful love is—how all-healing and limitless. Sense the awesome potential for love to create anything you want. This is your true power, and it is your birthright.
Everything you have been searching for your entire life is already within you. It is here waiting for you to own, and it will blow you away with immeasurable bliss. You are never, ever separate from love, and you are destined to live in total joy.
As you go about your life, consciously feel love as often as you can. Let it guide and comfort you. Let it remind you why you decided to live your human life—to be a lighthouse of love for our world. Say to yourself, “I am LOVE.” Repeat this often throughout your day.
Feel LOVE especially when you are in nature. You are a child of nature, so play in its loving arms every day. This is where you can feel how accepted and free you are. This is where you are most you. Nature shows you how to hear the song of your soul and let its music fill your life. Nature shows you how to trust again.
Trust Yourself Again
Now it’s time to fully trust yourself. Remember, you were conditioned to let authority tell you if you were doing things right, but you don’t need to police yourself. You simply have to trust yourself again.
The truth is that you already know the most loving way to handle everything that you experience. You already have all of the answers. You just have to trust yourself again—fully, completely, and without question.
Trust yourself and see how authentically loving you really are. See how you naturally feel reverence for all life. And the best part is that when you remember to trust yourself again, you remember to trust the universe too. You truly get that you and it are one and the same.
But what about wanting things for yourself?
It’s exciting to understand that your real desires always benefit everyone, and you can trust those too. Your real desires harmonize with every human being. You may have wanted things in the past that were tied to your conditioning, but as you’ve healed, your desires have naturally become more and more aligned with your benevolent nature. You will find yourself less focused on material objects and more interested in loving experiences. That is what truly fulfills you, and it’s yet another incredible thing that your human experiences have taught you.
Once you completely trust yourself again, you become your own beautiful authority. You also get to experience your real state of bliss all of the time. You get to live in an empowered state of enjoyment, and you can create your life consciously with JOY!
Live Your New Limitless Life!
You are an enormously powerful being. You are infinitely capable of creating anything that you fully desire. The truth is that you have always been creating your reality, but with limitation. Now you can do so with unlimited mastery.
You are becoming the master of your reality, and your experience can now flower in Technicolor. You need only harness your innate ability to create what you experience with LOVE. This means surrendering completely to love and allowing yourself to feel utterly limitless.
Love is unifying and all-accepting. It is neutral and void of polarization. Love is not needy with desire. It is a state of full-blown creativity.
Ultimate creativity is infinite. It does not narrow your potential with one expectation, but is wide open to unlimited possibilities. This book has been preparing you to harness your ultimate creativity, which is your ability to create your own joyful reality. Here are essential aspects to incorporate:
Belief is key. You must believe in your ability to create your reality. Remember, you are already doing this, whether you’re aware of it or not. Now, you can create your reality consciously and joyfully with supportive beliefs. Because what you tell yourself in your head, take into your heart as truth, and repeat in the background of your life creates what you experience. Belief underlies everything.
Ask yourself if you truly believe that you can have the experience that you want. Do you really believe that it is possible? Do you believe that you deserve it? Believe with solid conviction that you have the ability to create what you wish.
Now for the fun part! Let’s harness your brilliant Imagination. Your imagination holds your soul’s vision, and it is housed in your right brain. This is the creative side of your mind where anything can be designed. Your left brain, on the other hand, can only grasp reality one linear step at a time. Your left brain is logical and limited, so use your right brain instead. With your right brain, you can envision an existence without limits that is uniquely beautiful to you.
Take your time fantasizing about what you want to experience. Dream up things you’d like to know and how you want to live. Conjure a world all your own that drips with joy! Positively lose yourself in gorgeous visions of color and light.
Design your dreams playfully. Focus on the essence of what you want and how it will make you feel. And do so with Presence. Tap into the present moment always. This is how you create without time limitation.
Time limitation is the primary way that you limit your dreams. You look to the past and the future, which squeezes everything within these parameters. But when you are present, these limits get thrown out the window. Nothing matters but right now, and that is a very powerful place to create from. In fact, it is the only place that is real, because remember, time is just an illusion.
This book has been readying you to face the power of the present moment. It has been helping you to feel worthy of its awe-inspiring peace. Because delving into the present means giving yourself over to it completely. This feels a bit like surrender, which can be hard for a conditioned human being, but with an open heart the present moment is euphoric! It feels utterly free and powerful with love.
Presence is right here, and it is always available to you. Try sitting with yourself in the joyful presence of right now. Breathe freely and bask in the peace of this moment, and feel its infinite tranquility. Feel how much you really do love everyone because they are you after all! This is a crucial step to creation, and it’s called Unity Consciousness.
Unity Consciousness is often missing from popular manifestation techniques, yet it is the whole point! You are already connected to everyone, so cutting yourself off as separate from others and only wanting something for yourself limits what is possible. When you are separate, manifestation just doesn’t work—it becomes polarized, giving you ups and downs, and opposite experiences. So create with Unity Consciousness instead.
Come from the higher perspective of your soul and think of everyone, not just yourself. Realize how connected you already are to every living thing, and get back to ALL. This is the true reality of creation which holds infinite possibility.
Your Heart holds infinite possibility too. Your Heart works in tandem with your imagination, and it also doesn’t understand limitation. That is why living your life the old fashioned way with a closed heart always included limitation. But with an open heart, you will find that oneness with all life is within you. This means that the entire universe is within you too! It is staggering when you think about it.
So put your hand on your heart and tap into its limitless power. Feel yourself actualizing your dreams. Feel with expansive Emotion because your emotions are extremely powerful.
Perhaps you haven’t liked how your emotions have overwhelmed you before, but now you are lovingly in charge of you and you can use your emotions to feel enormous love. Let yourself feel love with every cell in your body and every particle of light in your being. Feel with total aliveness and thrill—with butterflies in your stomach. Feel how powerful you are to command things into being. This is your Mastery in action.
Mastery means that you create from within instead of looking externally. Looking externally immediately limits you, but if you declare from within with solid conviction, you put things into motion. Mastery also means that you clear your Limitations yourself instead of looking to others to do this for you. This means that your Limitations actually get cleared! This means that you no longer have to put up with limiting blind spots.
Lastly, creativity does take physical Action. No one can physically build your dreams but you. For example, you have to actually make the YouTube video that you want to have. You have to film, edit, and put the video on your computer. Your video is not going to make itself, but the creative process can be exhilarating.
This creative process is how I made this book, but I had to actually write it! So act when you feel called, follow the nudges that you are given, and take action to put your dreams into the physical world.
And when you create, don’t sabotage your dreams! Your energy is always attracting, so don’t send out a weaker message that negates your initial creation. Give up control and have faith, knowing that the highest outcome is solid and certain. Believe with conviction that your dream is already taken care of and surrender to receive the highest experience.
Always remember, beloved soul, that you are creation, so have solid faith in the divine plan that your soul has organized for you. It’s important to understand that your soul tweaks your life plan every night while you sleep in order to benefit your growth.
Most of all, don’t talk about your dreams with anyone without complete discernment. People may get jealous of you.
You are your own Fairy Godmother, so grant yourself the experiences that you wish! The power is in your hands, and you are in complete charge of your creations. You now take full responsibility for them, and they are consciously inspired. You no longer look externally for what only you can provide, such as your own joy.
How does it feel to become master and commander of your own world? How does it feel to be fully conscious and fully empowered? Do you understand that you are an immensely powerful being of immaculate love, more expansive than you ever dreamed?! To fully grasp this, try this quick visualization.
Focus on the very center of your being, in the perfect middle of your body. Do this for one full minute. Now imagine a glass sphere, just like a crystal ball, encasing your entire body comfortably. Sit with this vision for a moment.
Now extend the edges of this sphere to encompass the far edges of the universe. Yes, the universe! I’m talking that big. See how wide open this feels.
This is an accurate description of your spiritual stance in the cosmos. This is your true reality, and it is worlds apart from any small and limited human view. You already exist as a multi-dimensional being, and you are simply tapping back into your true self!
You are a master painter of life, and I want you to be the most exquisite painter imaginable! I want you to revel in your unique talents and to understand that you are so gifted! Can you accept this, incredible soul? Allow yourself to do this. Go get a mirror right now and look at yourself clearly. Look deeply into your precious eyes and see your soul looking back at you. See your startling artistry and fully own it! You are so magnificent. There are no words.
You are a natural born creator, and you are creating your own world of bliss. And now, you are ready to fulfill your purpose.
Mastery means living in glorious purpose. That is how you truly fulfill yourself. And this fulfillment brings incredible joy to you on a daily basis.
As your heart opens with love, you will be drawn to create what you most enjoy. You will gravitate towards a sense of purpose, which means that what you create will also help our world. And this will drive you with total passion. In fact, you won’t want to stop creating.
What will you create? What did you love to do as a child? What do you love to make every day? You will be shown exactly what to create as your heart continues to open wide.
Gone are the days of being bored and putting your dreams on hold. You don’t have to survive any more. You don’t have to hide, negotiate, settle, or compromise. There is no such thing as a starving artist any more. That was a fable told to condition you. Higher consciousness is here, and you can have passionate purpose on earth.
I am here to tell you that you have incredible purpose. You came here to bring your unique gifts to the world. Follow your heart, and you will be shown how to support yourself with your creative endeavors. Once you do, quit your day job!
Connect with like-minded people and form a support team. Inspire each other to live joyful lives infused with great meaning. This kind of togetherness is such a crucial part of our evolution. Indeed, oneness is what higher consciousness is all about. The truth is that you have always been interconnected with everyone and everything—which means that you can have anything you desire! It is simply already yours.
Oh dear friend, you are here to live the most fulfilling life out loud, so believe in yourself with all your heart and do what you have longed to do. Let humanity hear your voice—the one that only you can sing. We need your essential purpose that you came to earth to give. Make all our lives sweeter because you walked here beneath the stars.
Live In Immaculate Love
Returning to love is a blind remembering. It is rediscovering how to see in an entirely different way—a way more natural than human sight. You awaken to senses long unused and you finally recognize how much love that you are meant to hold. You wake up to who you really are.
At last, you have awakened to love. But in order to know this love, you must embrace your own divinity. You must surrender to yourself.
Surrender to yourself, beloved soul. Embrace the power you have always been. Embrace the truth—that you are a divine and radiant being of love, and you have immense power to change our world.
Surrender, and let love pour into your life unrestricted like water that cannot be contained. Be ridiculously generous with love and downright foolish. See what a fool in love you can be!
Fall in love with life and with yourself, and with every human being. That is what it means to be completely free.
Bless everything that you glance upon with love. You will receive love back a thousand fold. See love returned to you in the sublime mystery of nature. See it reflected in the exquisite nobility of every soul that you encounter. Let these reflections show you your very self.
Coax love out of this human realm and remind us what we have forgotten. Remind us how sacred we all are. Show us love and do so with total abandon! Until you are giddy with bliss. Until you come Home to yourself.
For you are creation gazing into your own mirror. You are GodSource rediscovering yourself through your own reflection. It took you ages to recognize yourself. You traversed lifetimes in this primeval world, sipping from the cup of forgetfulness. You patiently toiled, rounding out your messy experiences. In the end, you gained eternal wisdom that you will carry forever. Indeed, you will never forget what you learned:
That you are LOVE, and Love Is Free.
About the Author
Suzanne M. Baker is a Spiritual Author, Ascension Guide and United Twin Flame. She is the author of True Love Is Real; A Guide for your Ultimate Spiritual Romance and You Are Infinitely Loved; The Self-Love Guide. Suzanne writes the blog Share the Spiritual.com and co-authors the web site Twin Flame Help.com with her Twin Flame, Spencer. Suzanne is here to help you return to unconditional love.
Find out more at SuzanneM.Baker.com
All of the information in this book is a sharing of personal life experience and is not to be used in place of professional medical help. Suzanne M. Baker holds no responsibility for use of the information here within.