Cover

Dedication

For YOU, magnificent soul

and your profound journey back to LOVE.

I Love You

A Love Note to You from the Universe

I love you, beautiful soul reading these words. I love you from the bottom of my heart to the ends of the earth, for all eternity. I love you with all that I am and all that I will ever be, and I want you to know that you are so incredibly special. You are the song of the sea and the light on the fields, and all the dancing joy you have ever known. You are the magic and the mystery all wrapped into one gorgeous being. You are the gift of life simply waiting to be opened and loved as you so deserve.

You deserve to be loved so completely, and to be loved and then loved some more. You deserve to see your most precious dreams come true and to revel in them with all of your heart. You deserve to know how cherished you are and that you can never do any wrong. Please hear me and know these truths.

Hear my words of love, beautiful soul, and let them soak into your being. Let my love letter reach your heart and open it so that it never closes again.

For you are loved.

In fact, you are love.

And you don’t have to believe otherwise again.   

This is how the universe truly feels about you, dear reader. This is the truth coming to you from the wider spiritual reality beyond your human life. You are loved utterly, completely, and unconditionally. You are cherished beyond your wildest dreams. You always have been.

But why has this not been obvious in your life? Because you’ve been conditioned to think otherwise. You have been trained to think less of yourself.

Let’s get to the root of this conditioning right now so that we can heal it for good.

Humans Are Taught Self-Loathing

As a human being, you’ve been trained to have a low sense of self-worth. You have been taught to put yourself down without even realizing it. Why? So that you can be controlled.

Yes, it’s true, brave soul. If you don’t already know it, we humans are trained to lessen ourselves in order to be controlled.

Whoa. But why?

As harsh as it sounds, so that corrupt systems can be maintained on planet earth. By whom? Power hungry beings who run this planet. These beings succeed while we suffer.

But wait, I thought this was a guide about love. Why are you talking about suffering and corruption?

Because suffering is what keeps you from love, and I’m going to show you how to stop suffering so you stop keeping yourself from the love you so deserve. Because it turns out that there is nothing wrong with you, beautiful soul! You have simply been living in a corrupt environment that includes a lot of suffering.

Let’s find out more about this suffering. Let’s dig into the ugly truth so we can heal it.     

Suffering keeps you down, and this suffering manifests both physically and emotionally on earth. Physical suffering entails violence, poverty, disease, injustice and war, all of which you’ve been made to tolerate. You have been taught to think that physical suffering is just part of life. You have been bombarded by media images of suffering and told to assume this is simply the way the world works. It shouldn’t be.

Just think about it. No matter how much human beings try to change things on this planet and make them better, we seem to get nowhere. Interesting, huh? Legions of capable people spend their lives trying to solve human suffering, yet still it continues. Why? Because there is a deliberate effort by those who run this planet to squash humanitarian work and make us unhealthy. There is a deliberate effort to perpetuate suffering so that you, and all of us remain relatively powerless. This is cleverly hidden from us so that we keep participating in suffering.

The truth is that all the suffering in the world could be solved instantly were it not for the corruption on planet earth. And suffering doesn’t stop with the physical. One of the primary ways human beings are kept down is through self-inflicted emotional suffering. As bleak as it sounds, we suppress our very selves.  

We humans unknowingly keep ourselves down through negative thoughts, most especially those about ourselves. We have been taught to think thoughts of self-loathing and to not do anything about them. These thoughts generate emotional suffering.

This emotional suffering is exactly what we’re going to heal with this guide. We’re going to alleviate your emotional suffering so that you can stop putting yourself down. We will heal the way you’ve been trained to sabotage yourself with self-inflicted negativity. This means that you will stop settling for less than you deserve in life, thinking this is ok and that you’re lucky compared to most. This is how you’re going to finally thrive.

But it doesn’t stop there. As we’ll explore, you’re going to help the entire world to thrive as well. You’re going to stop tolerating suffering in your being so that you can help to heal suffering everywhere!   

Wow!

Life-changing stuff, indeed.

Let’s get started.

Let’s start by looking at how you’ve been trained to put yourself down. This training is called your human conditioning. It can be summed up in one short sentence:

You fear that you won’t be loved unless or even if you prove your worth.

You’ve been taught to fear that you won’t be fully loved and accepted by others, no matter what you do. This has made you suffer all your life. It has made you hide your whole self and shun parts of your beautiful being so that you fit in with others who fear being unloved too.

This conformity is an epidemic for humans. We all fear that we won’t be accepted and loved. And again, sometimes this fear runs so deep that we can’t even see it. We might think that life is pretty ok, so what’s the problem? Until we get triggered by a negative interaction with another human being. That’s when the fear of being unloved rears its ugly head, and we can finally see it for a brief time.

Boy do I know the feeling. I used to feel ok until I found myself in uncomfortable situations. I would find myself in a room full of intimidating people, and I’d start to feel uneasy. I’d think to myself, “Do I look ok?” “What can I do to prove I’m worthy of being here?” “Will I be accepted then?” I’m sure you can relate. But all of these worries came from being conditioned to fear that I am unloved.

Sometimes, my interactions with people were much worse. I would be too nice and too available for people who didn’t honor me. I would tolerate being put down without realizing it—until it was too late to do anything about it. I used to make myself small in order to avoid being put down further. I used to hide like a hermit in order to stop being disrespected.

But that wasn’t all. Some of my interactions were downright atrocious. Like so many of us, I was ostracized, shamed, and condemned. I was manipulated, ridiculed, and abused. I suffered, as have we all.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, then I am here to help. Self-Love is here to help. Self-Love has the power to remove your human conditioning and return you to yourself. Self-Love ends your suffering.

The first step is to recognize your fear of being unloved. Working on Self-Love reveals this fear to you vividly. It allows you to see your human conditioning. And once you recognize your human conditioning, you start to understand that your fear of being unloved is just programming. Underneath this programming, you are a very powerful being of total love, and you are used to being absolutely adored in our universe.

Let me repeat that:

Underneath this programming, you are a very powerful being of total love, and you are used to being absolutely adored in our universe.

But this programming has been reinforced by countless negative human experiences, so you want to create new experiences based on the total and complete truth that you are infinitely and unconditionally loved. You want to create these new, loving experiences as you heal your conditioning. These experiences help your mind to see, and therefore believe the wider spiritual reality beyond your human conditioning.

As you create each new experience, you will start to form positive habits that replace old programming. You will become conscious instead of manipulated. You will choose you instead of negative conditioning.

But how do you begin to create new loving experiences? Let this guide help you. Let me help you to truly love yourself, and you will build a whole new way of interacting with the world. As you soak in my information and try out my techniques, you will start to understand how much you deserve to be respected instead of compromised. You will see your infinite worth in Technicolor!

As you grow in Self-Love, you will start to understand that every time you suffer, you are feeding into the corruption on this planet. You will become increasingly able to stop doing this. You will see just how important this is and how much loving power you have to stop your own suffering. You will claim Self-Love instead.

Maybe you’ve already done a lot of Self-Love work. That’s fantastic! I want to help you keep going until you fully open your heart. I want you to be able to use your open heart at every moment of your life until you are liberated from suffering forever.

Let’s keep going.

Use Your Heart

As you heal your human conditioning—your fear of being unloved, it’s important to understand that your mind, more specifically, your left-brain, will put up a fight to keep you from removing your fear. You see, your left-brain can only grasp reality one linear step at a time. Your left-brain is logical and limited, and only believes what it sees. It believes in your conditioning, and it works in tandem with your ego.

Your ego is your conditioned identity. This identity was created to help you survive in the human world. Your ego and your left-brain work hard to prove your stance in life so that you can survive in a corrupt environment.

Your ego and your left-brain try to override self-loathing by being competitive. You might recognize this when you feel the need to exaggerate your accomplishments or defend yourself with explanation. Such behaviors often create disharmony, conflict and fighting. The solution is to elevate yourself to a much higher place than your little ego. You want to live life from the perspective of your all-loving and magnificent soul. This means using your right-brain instead of your left, and using your gorgeous and ever-generous heart.

Your right-brain is the feminine part of your mind. It’s important to note that we all have a feminine side, regardless of sex. Your right-brain believes in things you cannot see. It speaks directly with your soul and intimately knows the greater spiritual reality. Your right-brain is able to create imaginatively, without limitation.

Your right-brain works with your heart. Your heart is your personal portal to all-unifying love. Your heart has infinite capability to create anything through the awe-inspiring power of love.

In your heart, oneness with all life resides. This means that everything resides here—within you. And this means that you can have anything you want! Sounds exciting, right?

But most of us go through life with closed hearts while using our left-brains. This creates a very restricted reality. It gives you very limiting choices. But when you live life with an open heart and use your right-brain, you are able to create fearlessly and infinitely. Self-Love makes all of this possible.

Self-Love reveals your conditioning to you and allows you to tap into your latent but very real creative powers. Self-Love allows you to thrive instead of being diminished. Self-Love is the missing ingredient in the human experience, and as each person embraces it, they help to change the entire planet, one open heart at a time. That’s right, Self-Love is creating a higher human experience for all of us, the kind we have always deserved.

You deserve a higher experience. Let’s make that happen for you as soon as possible. Let’s delve further into your golden ticket called Self-Love.

Self-Love Is Essential

Self-Love is essential to your well-being because love is essential to your well-being. This love has to come from inside you, not outside.

You see, your world is a reflection of yourself. You are creating your world at every moment—often subconsciously—often from your human conditioning. This unconscious way of creating is extremely limiting, but with Self-Love you can build a more positive world from the inside out.

Of course, Self-Love can seem selfish, but it is not. In fact, there is nothing selfish about Self-Love. Indeed, when we don’t love ourselves enough, we tend to act selfishly. We never get enough validation from within so we seek it externally. We do so with a hunger that negatively impacts our lives, all because we are greedy for love.

This unknowingly perpetuates corruption. We crave attention and material things with greed because we are trying to fill the gap where love is supposed to be. This is where addiction arises, because nothing can replace love except itself.

That is why you, beautiful soul, are being called to love yourself unconditionally. You are being called to end the corruption in yourself. You are being asked to understand that you are worthy of the deepest love imaginable at every moment, and this requires self-compassion. Right now, I want you to give yourself so much compassion for being a human being. I want you to admire yourself for everything you have endured in your earthly experiences. I want you to love yourself unconditionally.   

The truth is that you cannot love others unconditionally until you love yourself this same way. You cannot see the true value in another until you stop putting conditions on the love you give to yourself. Then, you are able to love everyone unconditionally.

Do this right now, beautiful soul. Decide to love yourself unconditionally. Take this moment to empathize with yourself so deeply that nothing else matters in your universe. Love yourself for all that you’ve endured in your life. Give yourself the highest lifetime achievement award for your endless human efforts. Admire yourself for everything you have experienced.

Do you know just how brave you are to be on planet earth? Do you know how much perseverance you show every day by simply living your human life? You are in a very corrupt place, so please understand the courage this takes. Applaud yourself right now for all that you do without even realizing it. Understand that you are in truth an expansive, luminous being who is infinitely more than your human experience.  

Empathizing with yourself will become easier and easier as you try out the techniques in this guide. You will grow to accept yourself unconditionally and to celebrate yourself completely, and this shows you how to accept everyone else too.

The most beautiful part about Self-Love is that when you embrace it head on, you help everyone else to do the same. We are all spiritually connected inside, so when you’re able to love yourself and everyone unconditionally, you lead the way for all of us to love unconditionally too.

Self-Love allows you to lead with love instead of following your conditioning. Self-Love allows your life to finally make sense. All the puzzle pieces of self-worth that were lost to the wind get re-found and put back together again. These pieces form the most gorgeous artwork—you enjoying yourself! This masterpiece is your shining destiny.

As you find each puzzle-piece of worth and put it back, your soul positively rejoices and cheers you on. The universe conspires to help you simply be the love you already are. What a glorious fate awaits you, dearest soul! And it all happens when you reconnect with yourself.

Alone with Sacred You

The most important relationship you have in your life is your relationship with yourself. When you harmonize this relationship, you can interact with the world harmoniously. When your self-esteem is firm, you don’t get triggered by others. You are able to recognize that you are the source of everything that you experience instead of being distracted by your reflection in other people.

So I want you to focus on the source of your reflections and delve into your own poetic depths. I want you to give yourself what you want from others—total acceptance, quality time, and plenty of affectionate love. These are all things that you can offer yourself regularly, and they will change the way you live.

I want you to sit with your soul and also your humanness. This is what gives you back yourself. This is what helps you to get out of your ego’s way and feel secure with love. This is why it’s so important to create a daily meditation practice to empower you before you go out into the world. At the end of this guide, I share a meditation that I use.

Take the time to hear yourself and tap into your own inner peace. This quells your dissatisfaction with the world. Your own peace is what you’ve been seeking all your life, and it is permanent joy! You can carry this joy with you wherever you go instead of looking for it externally, or being disappointed when you don’t see it elsewhere.

Alone-time helps you to solidify this internal joy and to be the powerful being you really are. So start scheduling alone-time right now! Set aside time each day to just be alone with yourself. Make this time your top priority. There is no one more important than you.

Quiet time is a requirement for Self-Love. You have to stop the world and be with yourself. You have to end the distractions that keep you from your being. Then you cease being busy for other people so that you stop running away from you.

Now of course, often on the spiritual journey, you are made to be alone with yourself far longer than you’d like. This is so that you don’t get distracted from what you came to earth to do—heal suffering and fully embody your lovingly powerful self. You are also made to be alone with yourself so that you protect your energy from other conditioned humans until you are strong enough to be invincible with total love.

Now, as you spend time with yourself, I want you to treat yourself like you would your own precious child—with generous love, taking great effort and great care. Do what you would for your dear, fragile infant, and give yourself the love you’d shower upon them easily. You are your own child, and it’s up to you to take care of that child throughout adulthood. No one else is here to do this for you. You must look after yourself and answer your own tender needs and treat yourself with adoration.

As you love the child in you, you will find that emotional pain comes up to be addressed. You will find that being alone with yourself for extended periods of time requires the courage to address the pain and darkness that you feel inside. This pain is normal. It comes from your human conditioning. This pain is simply obscuring your immense beauty and light. Pain just wants to be addressed before being released. And your heart wants to open for good.  

Heal Your Deep Emotional Pain

Your heart understands the truth that you are emphatically loved, but your painful human experiences prompt you to feel wounded and to close your heart repeatedly over many lifetimes. As you open up to Self-Love, you learn to open your heart again, but this also exposes many wounds from your past. Your job is to address these wounds and heal them so you can be free to experience bliss.

As your heart opens, you will delve into the pain of self-loathing. This pain can make you run from loving yourself and others. But remember, you were simply taught to diminish yourself and to fear being unloved, and all conditioning can be reversed. All emotional wounds can be healed as though they never existed. In fact, once pain is over, it’s hard to even remember it.

Let’s look at your pain so you can heal it.     

Betrayal and Abandonment

When your heart opens, the core wounds that show themselves are betrayal and abandonment. These wounds formed when you were betrayed by your human conditioning. This conditioning kept you from love and made you feel abandoned. You were kept from the spiritual acceptance that you deserve, and you were made to feel alone.

The core wounds of betrayal and abandonment often appear in painful relationships. Certain people in your life will prod you to feel betrayal and abandonment, exactly so you can heal your emotional pain.

People hurt us in life because they fear we will abandon and betray them. We, in turn, feel abandoned and betrayed when people hurt us. The cycle feeds upon itself, reflecting the abandonment and betrayal that we all feel inside. Now, we can finally address these core wounds and heal them.

I explain how to heal your emotional pain at length in my book, Love Is Free; Free Yourself from Conditional Love. Here is the basic process:

Face Your Pain  

Sit or lie down in a safe, private and quiet place. Take several deep breaths. Now start focusing on the emotional pain that you feel inside. This takes courage, but you are so brave to be here as a human being already. You can do this.

Bravely feel your emotional pain. Go back over painful experiences that you have had in your life and bring this pain into the light. Go over how people have hurt you and feel once again the way they made you feel. Review your painful memories and allow yourself to feel what they bring up for you.

As you allow yourself to feel your buried pain, also allow yourself to cry, speak, and express what you are feeling. Get your emotions out. Know that I am by your side as you do.

Recognize the Teaching

As you feel your pain, ask yourself what it is teaching you about not loving yourself enough. For example, if someone called you a painful name, ask yourself if you judge yourself inside for this same quality that has been expressed. Or, if someone put you down in another way, ask yourself if you feel insecure about not being good enough. Perhaps you’ve been disrespecting yourself or unconsciously maintaining unhealthy patterns. Maybe you just feel completely misunderstood and powerless.

As you feel your pain, ask yourself if you feel betrayed or abandoned in any way. It can be illuminating to recognize that betrayal and abandonment often feel like being misunderstood and disrespected. These feelings are pushing you to understand and respect yourself. But realizing this can be an arduous process. You may feel plenty of anger as you progress. That is fine. In fact, anger helps you to reclaim your power—your power of love. It moves you to say “Enough!” and to change for the better forever. Anger pushes you to understand and respect yourself, despite your situation. It urges you to stop withholding love from yourself.      

You can express your anger safely in your own space as you identify the specific teaching that is coming up for you. This teaching always points to how you and others have been trained to not fully respect and love yourselves. The solution is to identify this and recognize negative programming so that you can re-write it.

As you feel your pain fully, identify how this pain is teaching you—how it is showing you a lack of love. Compose a sentence that articulates this, “This pain is teaching me to love myself more by showing me …“ Feel this lesson fully and soak it in. Once you have your lesson, you no longer need the pain to teach you anything, and you can let it go.

Release the Pain

Decide to release the pain from your being. Breathe deeply, and breathe the pain out of your body. Take several deep out-breaths until you physically feel the pain dislodge and begin to leave you. Take all the time you need to do this. Keep breathing and visualizing the pain leaving your being until you truly feel it leave.

Thank and Replace

Now thank the pain for teaching you. Then replace the pain with all-accepting love. Summon all the love you can for yourself and fill your being with it. Radiate this love from your head to your toes and far beyond your body. Feel immense with total, compassionate LOVE for yourself and all of creation. Feel love for everyone from a higher place.      

These steps can be repeated as often as needed, especially when you feel suddenly triggered and in pain. Keep facing your pain and releasing it, one brave step at a time. As you do, you will notice the teaching that emerges for you always relates to your core wounds. Your emotional pain shows you how you have been betraying and abandoning yourself.

The solution is to never betray and abandon yourself again in your life. How? Through steadfast Self-Love. With Self-Love, you stop throwing yourself under the bus for anyone or anything, once and for all.

But how exactly do you embrace Self-Love? Do the physical steps I’ve mentioned and the techniques coming up in the second part of this guide. Do them every day. Do them until they become second nature. Remember, you have to create new loving experiences instead of old, disrespectful ones. Actual experience is what reinforces Self-Love. It gets you to change your human programming and puts that change into action. This is what makes Self-Love stick.

Information alone won’t do it. Everything I’m sharing won’t mean a thing until you actually feel the teaching for yourself. So go through each physical step and allow yourself to grow through your physical experience.

What are the physical steps we’ve gone over so far?

1. Take some time to sit with yourself and offer yourself the deepest empathy. Do this until you truly feel self-compassion sink in. The goal is to love yourself unconditionally.

2. Set aside quiet alone-time every day—at least one whole hour, preferably more. Make this time your top priority.

3. Bravely face your buried pain and begin to heal it. Follow the steps outlined above.

Embrace Your Shadow

As you face your pain, you will see that you are being asked to love your whole self, shadows and all, not just a positive, superficial image—not who you hope you are to other people! You see, you have a formidable shadow side that has been shunned by your human conditioning. This side actually contains incredible power and beauty. It has simply been misunderstood, judged, and disrespected. Your task now is to fully see, embrace and then love this shadow side of yourself. When you do, you fully embody Self-Love.         

I want you to take a brave look at yourself and your life, and identify the wilder parts of yourself. Take a moment to sit with with your whole self. Do this right now. Get out a pen and paper, and write down the parts of you that are more hidden and less acceptable to society.

For example, are you a party person? Do you prefer to be subversive sometimes, out of the blue? Or, are you highly critical of people and love perfection? Perhaps you live by “Anything goes,” including destructive behavior. Perhaps you’ve got a dark side that no one sees.

Dig deep and see what you’ve been hiding about yourself. Look boldly, and write down the things you’ve gotten in trouble for, the things you’ve been judged for, and the things others make you feel embarrassed about. This shadow side of you is asking for acceptance and love.

Your shadow side contains hidden power that is unleashed when you accept it. For example, if you are a party girl or boy, you are highly powerful socially. You know how to elevate a room and engage and uplift other people. You know how important it is to enjoy life. If you get embarrassed easily, you are helping others to be vulnerable and to love unconditionally. If you are subversive, you have the power to change oppressive systems.

If you are highly critical, you notice what others don’t and you can can use this to help our world. You may hold ideal images that can fulfill potential. If you are laissez-faire, you have the extraordinary gift of acceptance. You can use this to help others feel loved too.

As you take a comprehensive look at your beautiful self, compose your shadow list. Then take a thorough look at your list. Allow yourself to accept these parts of yourself, and allow them to show you the bigger picture of your gifts.

Can you see a more whole vision of you? Can you fully love yourself in entirety, knowing this is only the surface of who you really are—a magnificent, experienced and powerfully complex being? For you are infinite creation itself in human form.

Embrace your shadow. Embrace yourself. Love the whole of who you are as a human and spiritual being. Love the child in you and the seasoned adult. Love the infant you were and the wise old being you are at heart. Love the journey and the wanderings, the personal connections and all your glittering dreams! Accept all that is and all that you are, for they are one and the same.

Now give yourself a giant hug—literally wrap your arms around yourself, and give yourself all the love your shadow has been craving. Bask in this love as much as you can bear. Be brave with intimacy with yourself. Sit in this place of powerful Self-Love as long as you can and take it with you everywhere you go.

When you embrace the shadow in yourself, you embrace the shadow in all of us. You become a conscious human being of all-accepting love. You accept the painful past and all participation in it. You finally accept all of yourself.

This means that you understand yourself at last. In fact, you understand everyone. You heal conditioning, conflict, and duality, and you champion respect for all.  

Let’s keep going. Let’s protect the most important person in your life.

Relationships

As you grow in Self-Love, you will find that your relationships are affected dramatically. Your interactions with people change as you do. Some of your relationships may have a hard time keeping up with your improved sense of self.

This is because your prior relationships were formed when you had lower self-esteem. You resonated with people in your life at this shared level. But, as your self-esteem increases, you will begin to outgrow this level, and you will create a new one that some people just can’t match. They won’t be able to grow with you and support you in your newfound confidence.

This means that some of your prior relationships may get left behind, painfully so. But if you stay in stagnant relationships modeled on the past, you will have to alter who you authentically are. You will keep getting pulled down into the past, and this will sabotage your increasing sense of self-worth. So you want to embrace change, even if others don’t like this. You want to be steadfast in yourself, no matter what.

This takes courage, but your newfound freedom is well worth the effort. In fact, as you increase in Self-Love, you will find it harder and harder to tolerate relationships that compromise you. You will become acutely aware of being put down, competed with, or baited by others who try to make you feel insecure—which is how they feel inside and where they want you to join them.

You may find that you used to tolerate a lot of put-downs in some of your key relationships. It may become crystal clear that you used to allow scenarios that were absolutely ridiculous for you. But through Self-Love, you can never go back to being disrespected again. You will automatically insist on being respected always.

Moving forward, if you experience situations that feel disrespectful, you will want to speak up with compassionate wisdom, then walk away peacefully. Just stay away and don’t give out your beautiful energy, no matter how much you are baited! Just move on and let others grow at their own pace.

No explanations are necessary on your part. No drama or hard feelings are required, though be prepared that others may feel them. But don’t be afraid to sever relationships (for now.) This may apply to marriage or your parents. It may apply to a sibling or best friend. Please know that people will come back into your life if they are meant to, often when they are ready to grow with love or when they see how beautifully you are leading. That is how you lead with love in the world and help others to be lovingly empowered.

Now I know from personal experience just how deeply disturbing it feels when close relationships are in crisis, and I offer my deepest empathy if you experience this. We are living in evolutionary times, which means that all of our relationships are being challenged—exactly because relationships are prime opportunities for growth. So when you experience heartbreak in a relationship, romantic or not, this is actually a golden opportunity to get back yourself through Self-Love.

Heartbreak literally opens your heart and reveals your wounds of conditioning. This allows you to finally heal these wounds. You are pushed to assert that, moving forward, you will never betray and abandon yourself for others again. You will not suffer for anyone.

Take these heartbreak opportunities and love yourself through them. Feel compassion for people, especially if they haven’t elevated their own sense of self-worth. Compassion means that you see why people do what they do, and you understand that all humans have been doing their best to survive. You understand this intimately because once-upon-a-time you were surviving too.

Please know that if you aren’t able to leave relationships gracefully—and wow, I have been there, forgive yourself immediately. You aren’t meant to be perfect, and step-by-step you will learn to not engage with those who try to compromise you. You will stop the fight and lovingly walk away instead. This is how you become a leader of love on earth.

Take this role seriously and make sure that you are always honored. You get to choose the people you are with, so choose those who support, honor and cherish you as you deserve. If this means being alone for a time—great! As we’ve explored, being alone helps you to fortify Self-Love, and this automatically attracts relationships that respect you.

You can get excited and look forward to new relationships that match your newfound sense of Self-Love. These relationships will find you when you no longer need as much alone-time to do your healing work.

You don’t have to be available for other people, but you should always be available for yourself. Say no to invitations that don’t feel uplifting, even if you’d desperately like to have some fun. Stay home instead, and create the fun you truly crave—quality time with the most important person in your life—you!

Be a sun unto yourself instead of feeding off of uncertain energy. Be the brilliant light you are instead of tolerating clouds. You are in charge of your entire universe, so blaze as brightly as you can, and don’t let anyone stop you!   

Being Self-Absorbed

It’s important to note that being self-absorbed is not Self-Love. In fact, this is misguided Self-Love, and it actually keeps you from the love that you deserve.

A person who is self-absorbed is overly fixated on their identity. They consider themselves extremely separate from everyone else. This reinforces their separation from love.

A person who is self-absorbed has no exchange with the loving universe, just a repetitive loop with themselves. What’s worse, the self-absorbed person can’t even see this. A very narrow view of life is maintained, one that is overly serious.

The solution is, of course, Self-Love. As the self-absorbed person learns to truly love themselves instead of being preoccupied with separate identity, love is allowed to flow through them unhindered. Their view of life expands to include everyone, and their awareness opens up to unity with others—the true nature of love. All past preoccupation with the self starts to seem absurd, and lightness enters their being. They begin to create fearlessly and invite the world to join them.

One of the greatest lessons we learn on earth is that we can create anything with love—love that is expansive and open, that isn’t shut off to include only the self. The sublime truth is that you are creation experiencing itself through one essential yet always interconnected viewpoint. Free-flowing love allows you to see this and to understand just how unified and sacred we all are.

It’s exciting to understand that those who brave the journey out of being self-absorbed actually have heightened awareness because of what they’ve been through. Indeed, all the challenges we humans face ultimately give us invaluable wisdom. We are taught more about love by being without it for a time. When we complete the return trip back to Self-Love, we hold more wisdom around love than we ever could have otherwise.

Knowing this is especially important for the times you are living in. As we’ll explore next, planet earth is evolving. Humanity is evolving. You are evolving. The human story is now being re-written from tragedy to ultimate love story—one where everyone gets to finally flourish. This is an epic transformation, and it requires that you treat yourself in a sacred manner. You need to go easy on yourself.

Sabotage and Forgiveness

You are living on a transitioning planet. Humanity is now freeing itself from corruption and from conditioning, and all of the suffering we have known. We are evolving spiritually. You are evolving spiritually. You are leaving behind your conditioning and leaping forward to embrace unconditional love.

This transformation is dramatic, and it is very understandable to react with drama through it. So although your goal is to end all of your suffering, this is a process. Eventually, you will become masterful with love to the point of not reacting to anything whatsoever, but this takes practice. Please be easy on yourself.

You are striving to create uplifting, peaceful energy from within and take this energy with you wherever you go, but you are also transmuting negative energy into the positive, and this is challenging! Please don’t dwell too long on your challenges, but also give yourself lots of credit for being here. Forgive yourself for any messiness as you transform. Try not to suffer too much.

Have compassion for yourself for how hard the human experience has been for you and for all of us, and don’t set impossible standards. You are not supposed to be an angel here—you are a human going through radical transformation.

Transformation comes in waves and growth spurts. You acclimate step by challenging step, embodying higher energy as you go, releasing and purifying the negative. These steps can be brutal, so forgive yourself for any negativity that you exhibit. Start over each time with grace for yourself.

It’s helpful to know that negativity serves a vital role in the process of creation. When positive and negative energy polarize, they create such a powerful force that giant shifts are possible. This is what is happening right now on planet earth.

That is why politics are so polarized and why you see divides in so many societies around the world. We are shifting to a higher reality via drama, and we must forgive ourselves through the formidable process.  

Forgiving yourself is the key to Self-Love, and it frees you to forgive everyone else too. If you are unforgiving, then you are stuck in judgment. You are setting a standard that is too high for everyone to live up to. This makes it impossible for people to love you unconditionally. It makes it impossible for you to love yourself.

If you are judging others, that judgment is always about you. This can be hard to see at first, but when you judge another, you are working hard to not act like the person you are judging.

More specifically, if you find yourself really judging someone—that is, you feel really bothered by their behavior instead of feeling compassion for them or feeling neutral, take a long, brave look at yourself. See if you fear that the qualities you are judging in this person might be latent in you. Observe if you try really hard to not act the way this other person does, and it bothers you to no end that they are so selfish. Or perhaps you judge yourself for being selfish without even realizing it, and this other person strikes this chord in you. When you identify these judgments, you are addressing them head on. You are taking responsibility for your part. You can then appreciate what these judgments are teaching you about yourself. You can feel thankful for the illumination this affords.

The next step is to forgive yourself for judging. Just say, “I am so sorry,” and feel this from your heart. Then forgive the other people involved. Strive to forgive everyone, including yourself, and grant yourself your own freedom. This elevates you above judgment so that you can live from a higher place of compassion. You get to just BE instead of resisting.

One effective technique for letting judgment go is to let go of responsibility for things outside of your own being. Take total responsibility for yourself, but don’t take on other people’s stuff. Leave them alone to grow through the life situations that their souls’ chose. Do not participate in the negativity that others came here to heal.

It is normal to feel quite alone in this process, but that is the whole point! All of us are going within to heal the source of our judgments instead of interacting with the world unconsciously. We are instilling peace instead of reacting to shadows. This lets us reclaim our power to consciously create.

Consciously creating means honoring yourself at every turn. This allows you to honor everyone else too. The truth is that every negative human interaction begins with a lack of Self-Love and the greed to make up for that somehow. What’s more, we are all subject to negative interactions because of our human conditioning. We all judge ourselves inside until we discover Self-Love. When you are able to see how you have been against yourself and decide to love yourself instead, everything improves significantly.

Digging Deeper

But what if you’ve practiced Self-Love and so much forgiveness, and you still feel hurt by another? What if you’ve been spiritually aware and accountable for your negative experiences, recognizing the growth they have afforded you, yet still you feel haunted by what others have done to you? Ask yourself what each person is still showing you about yourself. Ask what they are reflecting to you about your own reality. In fact, ask yourself these questions any time you feel discord in your life. This is how you heal everything.

For example, I had two neighbors whom I used to get along with. Within a few months, both of them created disagreements with me that were very hurtful. This was especially hard to cope with as we live in close proximity! But finally, I was able to take a long hard look at these two people and see my own issues reflected back to me.

One neighbor was reflecting fears around my divorce. The other, fears around my isolation. Once I pinpointed these issues and addressed them in myself, I was able to let my neighbors go. So take a look at what people are reflecting back to you. This includes old issues you thought you’d already healed that are bothering you again. Once you pinpoint what is being shown to you about yourself, fully grasp the lessons at hand. Then silently thank these people in your heart. Thank them for serving as mirrors. Thank them until you don’t feel bothered any more. Feel a sense of total forgiveness toward them and toward yourself. Then let everybody go and rise above these old situations completely. You no longer need these situations to serve you!

Once you feel a full sense of healing, say to yourself, “It is not my responsibility to suffer through this any more. There is nothing more that I can do with this, and I give it up to those whose responsibility it is.” You’ve already taken responsibility for your part. Now you can let it go. You set other people free to figure things out for themselves.    

This works with neighbors, co-workers, close family members, and friends. It allows them to fully face their lives because you are no longer holding part of their situation for them. This means that they can really grow. Things may even shift dramatically for them and be solved overnight.  

It feels incredibly freeing to completely address your own issues and then relinquish responsibility for other people’s lives. It feels revelatory to release other people’s pain so they can become fully responsible for themselves. This is paramount to creating consciously. You have to jettison all baggage so you can fly higher into the new.

As you fly higher, know that you don’t have to remain in familiar, old situations with the same people from your past, holding your head high if they are still judging you. You don’t have to engage with them or repeat any patterns that are unhealthy. This serves no one. It does not honor you, but rather, depletes you, and you deserve so much more.

Create new experiences with new people who bring you joy. Don’t stay stuck in the past. Just silently walk away from those who can’t come with you. It’s as simple as that.

Clearing Negative Thoughts

As you progress with Self-Love, you will want to address all the unhealthiness that you partake in so that you can honor yourself best. One of the primary ways that we humans perpetuate unhealthiness is through negative thoughts of self-loathing. The journey back to Self-Love pushes you to face your negative, internal thoughts so that you recognize them for what they are—conditioned programming perpetuated by your ego. When you notice this programming, it’s time to clean house.

Observe your thoughts as you go about your day. When negative thoughts pop up, such as “They don’t like me”, or “I’m not good at this”, or worse, “I’m a total loser!” face these judgments of yourself. Face them no matter how dark and full of self-loathing your personal thoughts are. Then feel compassion for being conditioned to think these thoughts. Feel empathy for what you’ve been through in your life and forgive yourself for feeling negative. Compassion and empathy are the magic ingredients.

Observe all of the suffering that runs through your mind, and notice how you get trapped in loops of past wounds and future worries—no matter how much healing you’ve done! These loops create endless suffering for you, so you have to stop this programming in its tracks. How? By giving your mind something else to do. Simply preoccupy your mind with something more powerful that is visually pleasing and positive—something uplifting and higher. Flower images work miracles.

When you start thinking a negative thought of any kind, just picture a large, vivid flower in your mind. Envision the biggest, most beautiful flower you can think of, and get lost in its beauty. Let your flower be bright and colorful. Let it be arresting in loveliness so that it captures your full attention. If you want to choose another powerful image that helps you best, please do!

Next, visualize the word LOVE spelled out across your flower’s face in giant white letters. Feel this love and let it ooze from the center of your flower. Let this flower of love preoccupy your mind and erase all that bothers you.  

It is crucial to understand that your negative thoughts are just programming. They truly are not real. If you practice your Self-Love techniques every day, you will quickly see that negativity doesn’t stick like it used to. Negativity will have served its purpose—to get your attention and teach you to love yourself more. Now you can let it go.

Now let’s go over the steps to healing negative thoughts:  

1. Catch your negative thoughts.

2. Face these conditioned judgments with empathy and compassion.  Give yourself all the love you can, no matter what. Nothing else matters.

3. Recognize what your negative thoughts are reminding you—to stop putting yourself down. Because if you don’t stop doing this, no one else can either.

4. Stop putting yourself down in your daily actions and in what you say to others about yourself. There is nothing ok about self-deprecation!

5. Then, every time you feel negativity trying to creep back in, visualize the most beautiful flower of LOVE, redirecting you to create new programming to replace the old.

Moving forward, speak to yourself from your heart, not your head. Start small with “I’m kind of good at this”, or “These people seem to like me”, and build self-acceptance as you go. Become your own cheerleader, and let each cheer sink in. Let each cheer be something that you actually believe. Reinforce this belief.

As you grow to increasingly honor yourself, you will find that you are naturally drawn to healthier habits. Addictions and mind-numbing habits won’t be as attractive because they distract you from your increasing joy. You won’t want to sabotage yourself with unhealthy behavior, though you’ll still have lots of fun and human enjoyment. In short, you will act with less need and more balance.

But as we’ll explore next, sometimes this takes work. It’s easy to keep old habits that sabotage you without even realizing it, so you want to create new habits that resonate with Self-Love.  

Let’s do this right now for you. Let’s look at any unhealthy habits you have and change them so you can live in a way that resonates with where you are right now.

The first step is to empathize with yourself for doing anything unhealthy thus far. It is totally normal to partake in unhealthiness on planet earth. After all, we are bombarded by unhealthy conditioning all the time! It’s also completely understandable to want to numb your pain—the pain of your human conditioning.

So right now, I want you to empathize with yourself for how you might numb yourself or run away from yourself. I want you to tell your beautiful being that you understand why you do what you do. Then, I want you to take a look at unhealthy behavior and see how it disrespects you. Next, I want you to decide how you can specifically change that behavior from now on. Once you resolve to treat yourself with respect, it’s much easier to create new, healthy habits that build upon themselves.

Let me share a personal example next.

A Personal Example

I used to numb myself with food—regularly. Always in front of the TV. As I got older, this habit caught up with me. By my 40’s, I was putting on some extra weight that made me feel unhappy. Exercise wasn’t voiding the problem like it used to, and I knew that I was sabotaging myself with my old habit.    

The first step of healing was to recognize that I was numbing myself from pain. This pain could be traced back to high school. In high school, I would come home from a tumultuous day and pig out on the couch to numb my stressful emotions (I’m sure most Americans can relate to couch time!). My emotions always had to do with feeling disrespected and ostracized by other people. These emotions were intense and overwhelming, and temporary relief was sorely needed. I found my way to cope on the couch in the safety of my childhood home.

In adulthood, I repeated this pattern whenever I wanted to escape similar, painful emotions. By the time I got divorced, my couch sessions became more frequent. They were replacing most of my meals.

I started to get very sad about not feeling my best physically. I had done so much Self-Love work and I really and truly loved myself, yet I was going through so many dark nights of the soul in my personal situation that I needed a coping mechanism. Good old couch time came to the rescue, along with sabotaging pounds. Getting rid of this old habit felt impossible.  

Time went by, during which I thoroughly processed the pain of my divorce. I followed the healing steps in this guide. Then one day, I had a revelation. I didn’t want to be a teenager any more. I still loved the teenager in me, but I didn’t want to re-create her habits. I wanted to be an elegant, healthy adult. I wanted wellbeing.  

I realized that sitting at the table and having elegant meals was what I really wanted to experience most. This is what fully resonated with me. Dining at a beautiful table with grown-up food felt respectful and satisfying. It honored my beautiful self.

I started to remember the magical dinners from my childhood, sitting around the table with my parents. I remembered how much I used to enjoy food at the table as a child, without needing to numb myself. I remembered the otherworldly, romantic dinners with my new partner when we first met, and overnight I changed my eating habits.

I stopped eating on the couch and insisted on an elegant table, not just occasionally, but for every meal. I put flowers on the table and used my best tableware. I dressed nicely—what I love to do, and treated myself to fancy food. I cooked elegant meals with sophisticated vegetables, and payed attention to how the food looked and to every delicious bite. I felt satiated and healthy. No more sabotage.  

Finally, I was being myself! I was putting myself first. I had graduated from indulging the teenager in me to honoring the adult in me. Needless to say, my excess weight quickly disappeared.      

I had grown into my true self. This is what I want for you too. I want you to embrace your true self right now and let your life reflect how beautifully you have grown. I want you to look at any habits from the past that you’ve carried beyond their usefulness, and I want you to change them to respect you most. Habits create experience, and creating the most beautiful experience honors you best.

So let’s create the most beautiful experiences for you from now on. Let’s make sure that you respect yourself in everything that you do. I want you to pay attention throughout your day and ask yourself, “Does this respect me?” Then make it your top priority to treat yourself with respect at all times.

One of the most common ways we humans disrespect and sabotage ourselves is through alcohol consumption, something I have personally experienced. It is vital for all of us to understand that alcohol is pure poison. All wine and cocktails are extremely toxic to the body and the being. Alcohol is encouraged in our society just like self-loathing, exactly for the same reason—to keep us down. Please understand that we are conditioned to drink alcohol and wouldn’t knowingly poison ourselves! Even doctors say some is ok. It’s not! It never was.

I highly recommend removing alcohol from your life completely, for life! When I did this, I found that there were zero drawbacks. Now, I enjoy delicious mocktails with healthy ingredients. So if you drink alcohol, please safely stop now so you can feel the elation of spiritual bliss instead! Time to honor you.          

Every time you honor yourself, it is so much easier to feel your inner joy. Nothing numbs or distracts you from it any more. And again, the trick is to maintain a daily spiritual practice where you reinforce your sense of joy from within. Being present with your own internal joy is the greatest high there is, and you always have it with you. I want you to feel your inner joy all of the time!

Honor yourself in everything that you do—every action and every gesture. Let this reinforce how very special you truly are. Let this truth take root, and use it to make life beautiful for all of us. Our world needs your Self-Love. We need you because we are you, and we are so grateful that you are here.

Techniques: Be Discerning

Discernment is vital to Self-Love. Start using it all the time. Start unplugging yourself from situations that don’t make you feel loved.

When you find yourself experiencing a social interaction that makes you feel awkward, insecure, or hurt, excuse yourself and find a quiet place, such as a bathroom. Better yet, go outside.

Once you are by yourself, take a deep breath and become fully conscious with yourself. Put your hand on your heart and feel the love that resides there. Now talk to yourself inside, and say, “I love you, and I choose you.” Let this empowering feeling override everything else. It is all that matters.

You may find it quite difficult to give yourself this kind of love at first. That is normal. Self-Love will get easier and easier as you repeat the techniques here.

So, as you are saying these loving words to yourself, give yourself all the love that you are able to. Let this be the only thing of importance in your universe. Take all the time you need. Nothing is more urgent. Feeling better inside is your only priority.

Then, you can decide if you want to return to your social situation. But if the situation feels jarring in any way, just leave. It is that simple. You don’t owe anyone an excuse.

Going forward, be incredibly discerning. There is a lot of negativity out there, so choose to be in positive environments with positive people. Only participate in situations that make you feel valued and accepted, that feel uplifting and always respect you, and free yourself instantly from those that don’t. That is the power you have. You are the most important obligation in your life, and that commitment comes before all other responsibilities.

Growing in Self-Love means putting yourself first from the get go. You don’t owe anyone a disrespectful experience for yourself, and it’s up to you to make that clear. If you feel obligated to others to put yourself in disrespectful situations, please re-examine these obligations and prioritize yourself instead. As you insist upon respect, others will see how powerful you are becoming, and they will honor you more and more. This is how Self-Love changes your life, and this is how you inspire others to want the same for themselves.

Say What You Long to Hear

Say the loving words to yourself that you long to hear from people who have hurt you. Take some time to sit quietly with your soul. Then, one person at a time, connect with the soul of each person who has hurt you in the past.

Now, say to yourself exactly what you dream of hearing each person say, such as, “I understand exactly how you feel. I have been disrespectful to you, and I am so sorry for that. I will treat you with respect from now on.” Let your words be specific to your situation. Feel these sentiments sink in and heal the past. Feel renewed and ready to move on to respectful interactions.

Allow yourself to talk to each soul with total love. Communicate forgiveness and compassion. Tell each soul that you champion mutual respect and you wish them well always. Tell them that you require respect from now on, and let this message be powerfully loving.     

You can also say forgiving words to the soul of someone you have hurt. For example, if you have broken someone’s heart because you needed to be free, say silently to their soul, “I am so sorry that I had to leave you. A huge part of me really wanted to stay, but I have to be free now. Please know how special you are and how much you have taught me. I am forever grateful for you.” Feel the healing that this brings.

At the soul level we all love each other and forgive each other instantly. This is unconditional love, and it is the only thing that is really real in our universe. This becomes obvious on the spiritual journey, and Self-Love starts the process.

Clear Your Past

Heal past situations that were painful. Take some time to go over past experiences that were upsetting to you. Sit with yourself in a quiet place and revisit events that felt awkward, embarrassing, hurtful, and even cruel.

As you address each painful scene from your past, say, “I love you,” to the person you were in all of these situations. Understand just how brave you are to have endured many challenging human experiences, and know that you have always done the best you can considering where you’ve been in your life. Now give yourself the biggest energetic hug through time, sending all the love that you were missing in the past. This allows you to understand that you are your own source of infinite love so that you can fully accept your true magnificence! And, you will see that love prevails in the end, no matter what you’ve been through.

Now for the creative part: I want you to rewrite how things played out in your past situations. I want you to decide how you could have acted differently, in a way that respected you most. In a way where you didn’t suffer. Play this new version of events in your head.

Make your own personal movies where you stand up for yourself when you didn’t, with confidence and love. Immerse yourself deeply in each movie, believing in the images you create with all of your heart. Feel a sense of satisfaction, elevation and closure.

It’s important to note that standing up for yourself with calm and clear awareness is very different from defending yourself. The goal for each movie is to stand strong in yourself instead of reacting or explaining anything, or letting someone else’s painful behavior upset you. You want to change past scenarios that were belittling to you into interactions that asserted your worth, peacefully so. In most cases this will mean not engaging this time around, but simply walking away, holding your head high and wishing everyone well as you go on to experience something wonderful. This can also mean that you choose to speak up and insist upon mutual respect, but you don’t argue about it. You state that you require respect for all people and cannot compromise your being, then you peacefully leave.

By re-writing the movie of your life, you override negative programming. What’s more, your new version is energetically powerful. It sends a clear signal to everyone that you insist upon respect and that you won’t engage otherwise. You won’t participate in suffering.

As you re-write your past with love, it’s vital not to get bogged down in how hurtful past events have been, but to focus on your loving new re-writes. Allow these new versions of events to right the wrongs you have endured in your life and to close the door on the injustice you have suffered. Don’t suffer any further!

Let Self-Love give you the power to start over in your life—as if you have moved away to a new and better place to begin anew, this time with total love! Moving forward, when emotional pain surfaces about a past event, get busy re-writing your life. Allow your new versions of reality to powerfully replace what happened, then go forward towards the new. Your life is your reality after all. You are always creating your life, and now you get to do so consciously.

As we’ve discussed, the spiritual truth is that once pain is over, it is possible to feel as though it never happened, and yet to also gain the wisdom of tangible experience. Let your wisdom and your rewrites give you a supportive foundation to create respectful situations for yourself from now on.

If people from your past try to get you to react how you used to out of habit, just walk away. No explanation is needed. Don’t respond to the past. It is over. Move on with grace.

As you choose this kind of respect for yourself, your experiences will change profoundly. Step by step, you will get your whole self on board and reunite all your fractured parts that became divided through negative programming. That division sabotaged you and created negative interactions, but through Self-Love, you can create positive interactions. You will attract people and situations that honor you best. You won’t feel the need to hide in any way, and you’ll want to engage lovingly and invincibly with the world.   

Create New Loving Experiences

I want you to intentionally create new experiences that reflect your growing sense of Self-Love. Let these new experience completely replace your past. How exactly? Before you start your day, ask the universe to show you love. Also ask to create new, loving experiences to replace your past. Then consciously go out into the world with the intention of experiencing love and interacting with people in loving and respectful ways.

See what magic transpires. If you get thwarted by a negative encounter, use that opportunity to treat yourself with the utmost respect, regardless of the external situation. Use a negative encounter to show you how much you have grown in Self-Love from how you used to be. Wish everyone well, especially those hardest to love, then walk away with peace. Then start over the next day. See how Self-Love creates whole new habits of peace, which very soon become your new past.

Revel in your new loving experiences. Think about them often and play them over in your head. Drink in the delicious joy of total acceptance. Savor the exquisite beauty of your new paradigm.     

Love Notes

I want you to write yourself little love notes and put them around your home. Take some time to  hand-write gorgeous notes on beautiful cards and place them in a few obvious places. Then hide a few notes in places you’ll forget about to find at a later date. These surprise notes will speak directly to you at the most opportune times.

Here are some examples of Self-Love notes:

“I Love You So Much, your name.”

“I Believe in You, your name.”

“You Are so Special and Rare, your name.”

“You Are so Incredibly Beautiful, your name.”

Say, “I Love You,” to Yourself

Say, “I love you,” to yourself throughout your day. This may take courage and time to accomplish, but say the words anyway. Say “I love you.” to yourself whenever you think of it. As you get comfortable doing this, you will find that “I love you” just pops out of your mouth sometimes. This can be instantly soothing and life-changing. You are finally saying the words your soul longs to hear.

Once you get in the practice of saying, “I love you,” regularly, you will feel this statement directed toward everyone. You will find yourself feeling and saying, “I love Everyone,” spontaneously. It is glorious to behold how the self transitions into unity naturally.

If you are having a hard time feeling this, please know that I’ve been there too. It is easy to feel sad, down, and hopeless within the human experience. If you feel this way, try the following exercise:

Simply summon crystalline rainbow light to come to you and surround you. Picture brilliant, peaceful light in a gorgeous rainbow pattern, and let this light wrap its arms around your being. This light is from the angelic realms, and it will soothe you instantly. Let it take away your troubles and restore your desire to embody love on earth.      

Mirrors

If you’ve been afraid to look in the mirror before, now is the time to start doing so. Get in the practice of stopping to pause whenever you walk by a mirror. Look into your eyes and say, “I love you, beautiful or handsome!” Express a loving declaration to yourself.  

Now looking into your own eyes may feel very uncomfortable, intense, and even painful at first. Conditioned fears of being unloved will become obvious. But with each brave look in the mirror, you will overcome your fear. You will switch from scared to sacred as you overcome your human conditioning. And you will finally feel unity consciousness—your intrinsic connection to GodSource and to all life, through the gorgeous creation called you.

You can also record loving declarations to yourself on your phone and play them back to listen to. This works miracles, and yes it can be very uncomfortable at first! But please stick with it and see how Self-Love grows.  

Unplug

Unplug from controlling systems that support self-loathing and violence. Pay attention to what you eat, what you watch, and whom you’re with. Create your own world that is unique to you and reflects what you’d like to see more of.

Ask yourself if any stress in your life serves a purpose. Then try to serve that purpose in ways that honor you more. Unplug from the rat race as much as possible, while still providing for yourself and therefore, respecting yourself. Unplug from social systems of competition, obligation, and keeping up with others. This frees your time and energy to create in innovative ways the world has never seen!

Creativity

Tap into your creativity. Start creating whatever your heart calls you to. Maybe this involves gardening, painting, dancing, or singing. Maybe cooking, writing, or scientific breakthroughs! Or perhaps making useful or beautiful things. Whatever creative pull you feel, whether silly and light or deep and serious, answer this call and indulge it.

And make your creativity easy. Simply play with creation, whatever that means for you. What did you love to do as a child? This will bring you so much pleasure now. It will help you to be imaginative and magical—how you really are. For you are creation gazing through your very special perspective, eager to create as only you can.

Being creative is especially important during these modern times. We humans spend so much time looking at technology screens. This means that we are passively taking things in. Creativity is the antidote. It actively brings forth.

Seek Beauty

Self-Love leads you to become increasingly sensitive to your environment. You start to demand beauty because it honors you most. You shrink away from sad, cold, industrial places, and you gravitate towards beauty, light, and warmth. You find that your being longs to be in nature as much as possible. Respect these nudges, and let them help you to thrive.

Partake in beauty as often as possible. Create an oasis of beauty to live in, no matter how small your home is. Insist upon being in a home environment that respects you and resonates with your soul.

Beauty arises from gratitude. Spend time pondering what you are grateful for and feel your vibration lift. Then get out a pen and paper and list the aspects of your life that respect you fully. Write down what already honors you.

Please note that this exercise isn’t about settling. It’s not about thinking that your life is pretty good compared to most. Rather, this exercise is about seeing the parts of your life that reflect your soul already. This helps you to stop feeding your precious energy into the parts that don’t.  

Now post your gratitude list in a private place where you can see it every day. Feel uplifted by your list, and allow yourself to really appreciate these aspects of your life. Add to your list as you grow with Self-Love.

Let this practice help you to keep building a gorgeous life that respects you. Know also that you chose to be here on earth at this pivotal time. Gratitude for this experience creates higher, more beautiful participation in your individual and collective transformation.    

Fantasize

Let yourself get lost in dreaming up a beautiful world for yourself and others. Spend time fantasizing about perfect settings and experiences to enjoy. Think about your ideal day, your perfect home, and your most purposeful career. Have fun imagining details, such as what you’re wearing, where you are, and whom you’re with. Dream about the most loving connections with fellow souls. Contemplate receiving unconditional, mutual support from everyone.

Conjure gorgeous, precise visions, down to exquisite details of color, form, and feel. Return to these visions often in your imagination. This helps you to energetically build these visions and bring similar experiences to reality.

Be a child again, thinking about your favorite color. Be free to simply say what you like. Decide your favorite setting, perfect vacation and ideal meals. Decide what unlimited gift you’d like to be able to give to others. Expand your imagination to create things you’ve never seen, such as a flower with petals in different shapes and colors, or gorgeous architecture suspended among the clouds. This helps you to tap into your creative powers and bring an expansive experience to this realm.

Love Your Body

As you give yourself more love, you will start to heal any negative images of yourself and your body. You will create a healthy relationship with your body, which naturally shapes a healthier, more beautiful form. But you have to accept yourself completely and stop criticizing your humanity.

Because of human conditioning, it is very common to become disconnected from your body. The solution is to align your soul’s desires with your body’s; align your spiritual side with your human side. Make sure all parts of you are on board for the ultimate adventure called life. This can change things dramatically for you.

Your body is your best ally, and it’s important to appreciate just how amazing it is! Your body is a built-in vehicle of divine design that you are meant to experience creation with. Be in awe of this ability and respect your body always. Enjoy what it allows you to experience—all the myriad sensations and adventures that you couldn’t have without it.

Yes, this includes sex. When you awaken spiritually in your life and open yourself up to spiritual love, you may very well feel a pure form of sexuality begin to emerge in your being. Your spiritual energy at the base of your spine, called Kundalini, can become activated, and this brings a very innocent and highly powerful sexual arousal that is most sacred feeling. It feels like true ecstasy and total, all-accepting love, and it can help you to heal negativity associated with sex—which is conditioned programming meant to keep you trapped in self-loathing. Sex is actually a heart-based, joyful expression of creation, and as your heart opens and you use your heart instead of baser feelings, your body will blossom yet further.  

As you awaken to Self-Love, you will be inspired to take really good physical care of yourself. You’ll want to take time to exercise, bathe, and have fun in ways that respect your body. And, you’ll give your gorgeous body nutrition, which is what you crave most when you want food. You will put self-care first so that you can then help others. You’ll restore your energy so that you can go out in the world charged, ready to lovingly help.

The Rose

Roses are incredibly healing. They imbue sacred geometry. The form of the rose contains golden mean proportions, which means they are an ideal representation of beauty.

This is why roses are very pleasing to the eye and to the soul. They are incredibly soothing to look at, conveying peace and serenity. But roses do more than this. They transmute negativity. Roses uplift your emotions. They soften and elevate whomever they come into contact with.

Pink roses are especially healing. They speak to the Divine Feminine in all of us (men too!). Our human conditioning shames our feminine side, so healing her is paramount. Roses help us do this.  

Roses remind us to love ourselves. In fact, if I could pick one symbol of Self-Love, it would be a pink garden rose. You can think of a rose in any color any time you want to feel uplifted, just as we do to banish negativity. Spend time simply visualizing your ideal rose and get lost in the reverie of color and form. Imagine that you are walking into a garden filled with roses. Add details to your vision and visit this place often, whenever you want to feel rejuvenated with love.   

Smelling a garden rose is pure healing! Put roses beside your bed when you can. Just one rose can lift the vibration in any room, so keep them in your living space.

All flowers can help you. You can look into the flower image on the cover of this guide and receive healing. Stare into this dahlia and feel sacred connection with the beauty of life. You can buy books with images of flowers and order plant catalogues with gorgeous photos. Plant a flowering shrub if you can, perhaps in a public garden for all to enjoy!

I have been obsessed with flowers and roses all my life, and after my spiritual awakening I fully understood why. May flowers bless your life as they have mine.

Essential Oils

Geranium essential oil is a Divine Feminine scent. It is extremely comforting and nurturing. Geranium essential oil blended with rose oil can aid you immensely on your journey back to Self-Love.

Put several drops of oil in your bath or in your body lotion to soothe yourself. Wear a small amount of oil at your pulse points as a perfume, and surround yourself with its loving fragrance.

Palmarosa Essential oil can also help you tap into your Divine Feminine side. Palmarosa can help to lift you up if you are struggling with negativity. Neroli is another essential oil that is very uplifting and feels very royal (you are!). Please note, it is expensive and sublime.

Note: I order my essential oils from Eden’s Garden in California.  

Active Meditation

When times are tough and you don’t feel loved, I want you to put your hand on your heart and feel the love within you. Let your own love comfort you, no matter what is happening around you. Soothing love is always right here!

As I’ve mentioned, meditating on love daily gives you a head start and is paramount to your well-being. I like to meditate in my back garden or in a naturally lit room, but any quiet place will do. I stand or sit in a chair with both feet on the ground.

My meditation practice is visual, which means that I give myself a visualization sequence. I do this instead of trying to calm the thoughts in my head. Please use whatever type of meditation works best for you. The point is to tap into your own inner love and peace until it becomes obvious, and then to carry this renewed peace with you all day long.

Here is my current favorite Meditation:

Get quiet and close your eyes.

Breathe deeply and slowly, at least four times. Feel present in the moment as you breathe.

Start with a Protection Exercise: Visualize an expansive, protective bubble of light far around you that is also a mirror. The mirror reflects other people’s stuff back to them and does not allow negativity in. Your mirror is a large protective shell that only allows in total and pure light. I picture my mirror in opalescent gold and violet tones. Use whatever colors feel best for you. Secure your mirror into place.

Hands on Heart: Now rub your palms together and put both of your hands on your heart. Feel the love in your heart and let its peace build. Feel the bliss that emanates within and bask in the pleasure of this natural feeling for as long as you like. Feel safe, at home, and LOVED as an exquisite expression of GodSource.

Your heart is like the eye of the storm in the human experience. It is neutral and drama-free. You are free of three dimensional density, duality, and polarity. You are strong, without emotion or sensitivity. You are light and neutral, and unified with all life, and you are benevolent love incarnate.

Feel how your heart is the very center of your soul. Feel how powerful you are when you live from this place. Anything is possible here.  

Now open your hands from your heart and extend them all around you, and feel your expansive energy.   

Next, you can add a Grounding Exercise: Ground yourself by anchoring your love deep into the New Earth, which is your uplifted reality in this life. Feel that you are standing or sitting on the New Earth right now (you are!). Add a cosmic connection exercise by funneling your light out the top of your head to the heavens and feeling this heavenly connection.

Add any facets to your meditation that your heart calls you to. Ask for any Guidance you may wish to receive (see the next section for more help on this.).

Next, rub your palms together again and open them to the heavens to receive yet more love. Connect with your soul family and feel their deep, undying love for you and total support. Ask to be shown love as you go about your human experiences, today and every day.

Then give thanks to GodSource with your favorite closing words.

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As you go forth into the world, remember to live from your heart, not your head, more specifically, not your left-brain. Your left-brain will bring you all kinds of limitations, polarization, and depressing problems. This is why popular manifestation techniques don’t work! But, your heart will bring you peace and harmonious joy.

And again, if you find yourself suddenly worried about something, just put your hand on your heart and reorient yourself. The LOVE that you feel inside is what’s real, not your messy challenges.

Just feel the peace within you. This is your true and eternal identity, not your human ego—not even your human name.

As you put your hand on your heart and reorient yourself, allow yourself to be bravely, intimately present. When you are present, your ego cannot rule your life. You see, your ego can only reside in the past and future, but it is utterly powerless in the present moment. So allow yourself to dive into this moment, right now. Then allow yourself to simply take each moment as it comes, with peace.

This is how your inner peace becomes a full-body experience—by living now instead of getting from A to B. You give up responsibility to control the elusive future, and instead you are harmoniously empowered in what’s actually happening right now.

This is how you free yourself from suffering and become powerful with love—how you naturally are! Life then unfolds as a sublime and sometimes laughable journey, instead of a planned event that never truly arrives.

I wish you infinite joy on your journey back to total love.

Go Forth into the World!

As you grow stronger and stronger with Self-Love, you will feel increasingly powerful. You will become invincible from old, tragic 3D concerns, and you will evolve into glorious 5D. You will create your own blissful heaven-on-earth.

Your heaven resides far above the ashes of how life used to be—an ancient wasteland where love was forgotten. For now, you have remembered love again. You have remembered your true self.  

This means that you are ready to create your reality lovingly and consciously. You are ready to take on all the responsibility that comes with this, which means that you can rely on your own guidance above all other advice.

You are your own best source of wisdom—indeed, no one knows your life path better than you! What’s more, only you can heal your own conditioning. No one can do this for you. So get into the practice of taking charge of yourself and receiving your own guidance—an invaluable tool on your Self-Love journey.

I share two exercises to help you with this on the website that I created with my husband and Twin Flame, Spencer. Our site is:  

twinflamehelp.com

Click on the main page “Exercises.” The first exercise helps you to reinforce Self-Love. The second helps you to tap into your own guidance.

Another helpful tool on your journey is to simply smile to yourself throughout your day whenever you feel like it. Smiling makes your whole body happy and can lighten your sense of being, taking you away from feeling heavy and serious. You can simply smile because you love yourself and you feel spiritual joy. You can smile from deep within your being and let this help you to become impervious to external negativity. Just smile, and see how life becomes funny instead of tragic, and sheer heaven instead of hell.

Lightness is everything, as is embracing the new. Remember, you are leaving the past behind—the past where you didn’t love yourself enough because you were taught to diminish your worth. When you get rid of the old and embrace the new, you allow your life to flourish in unseen, limitless ways.

Sample new ways of doing things that distance you from old habits and how you used to view yourself and your body. Try new things that compliment your inner peace, new clothes, new food, and new grooming habits. Seek new places and people that reflect your inner joy. Choose new thoughts to replace tired old ones. Make yourself open to the unknown.   

Most of all, honor your calling to create the new. Assert your power to create a whole new way of human living that we haven’t seen before. Tap into your unbridled creativity, and make your world positively shine! Show us what you were born to do—create your own personal heaven.

Your primary purpose for this lifetime is to create your own heaven right here. But how do you do this? By tapping into your inner joy through meditation and bringing this joy to the world! This is how you help to shift our entire planet. You simply embody love and create with that love in your life.

Your life’s work is simple and twofold:

BE LOVE and CREATE HEAVEN.

So go forth, gorgeous soul, and simply BE the LOVE that you already are.

Show us what infinite love looks like!

Radiate it from your head to your toes.

Then create as only you can.

Inspire all of us to harness what we have so dearly missed—LOVE.

This LOVE has always been inside of us.

This LOVE has always been waiting in you.

And now, like the healing rose, this LOVE is bursting open!!!

Copyright

Suzanne M. Baker

© Copyright 2019

All of the information in this book is a sharing of personal life practices and is not to be used in place of professional medical help. Suzanne M. Baker holds no responsibility for use of the information here within.